Talking to strangers and 12 tips for chatting with strangers

I saw a movie "Chasing the Murder in the White Night" before, and I was particularly impressed by Guan Hongfeng and Guan Hongyu, two brothers with different personalities. Although the two have cracked many major cases together, when it comes to interpersonal communication, the younger brother Guan Hongyu is obviously better. In the bar, he can easily talk to the female boss. In the drug case, he can quickly gain the trust of the gang. On the other hand, his brother Guan Hongfeng has nothing to say about his high IQ, but he is too cautious in dealing with people and often gets a rebuff.

In fact, in life, many people, like Guan Hongfeng, are always somewhat unnatural or distrustful when dealing with people, and even resist communicating with strangers.

However, we spend most of our lives with acquaintances, but most of them develop from strangers. We often meet strangers in our life.

But for many people, talking with strangers is an embarrassing thing. They don't know what to talk about, and they are afraid that the next second will be cold.

how to chat with strangers without embarrassment? Share 12 tips today: What do you talk about after meeting strangers? How to chat more time-saving? How to chat more easily?

the dry goods are full. I believe you will never be afraid to chat with strangers again! 1. What to talk to strangers

1. Before dating, do a survey

A stranger appears in front of us, usually in two types: prepared and purposeful; Unprepared and aimless.

for the first one, we should make a good investigation beforehand.

use search. Use the internet to search and collect information about the background, age, education, native place, working experience, things you want to talk about today, and all kinds of things related to the purpose of meeting.

use intermediaries. Know each other's information through the middleman between you and strangers. In addition to background information, it can be deepened and refined, such as the taboo of the other party. What topics can't be discussed? Does the other party have any special beliefs? Is it a minority? What is his good if he does what he likes?

conduct information analysis. Summarize and analyze the information we searched and found through intermediaries.

there must be a social purpose when you are prepared to associate with strangers. So, the purpose is to impress him. What should we talk about? The purpose is to do a specific thing through him, when to throw questions and what questions to throw, and to have a minimum conversation outline before meeting.

2. Find the intersection

For the prepared meeting and the investigation, you already have a general idea of the intersection between you and the other party.

He is from Xinjiang, and one of your ancestors helped Xinjiang in Xinjiang. He went to university in Hong Kong. You have traveled in Hong Kong, and at worst, you liked a Hong Kong star.

For an unprepared meeting, you can talk about the scene. If you are in a salon, the salon itself is your intersection. Why do you appear at the same time? * * * Friends you know are your intersection, and the land you step on and the city you live in are your intersection.

The most common occasion for single women to meet strangers is blind date besides work. I don't know what to talk about when I meet for the first time. I talk about the introducer, that is, the middleman; Without an introducer, we met through an intermediary, so let's talk about how to find this institution; Talk about why you are single; Talk about each other's experiences. Talking about the intersection is much more.

On the basis of data collection and intelligence analysis, a woman who has a blind date with a Ph.D. in history department should even look at her doctoral thesis in advance, even if it is only the title. Not for academic discussion, but if the other person wrote about Britain in the 19th century, you can at least talk about Pride and Prejudice, which you are interested in!

3. Prepare several fixed topics

You should have several fixed topics. At any time, as long as you are willing, there will be no ice. This is your golden conversation direction, and it is also the place where you can easily find the intersection with others. Besides weather, traffic and cities, these popular topics. You can also talk about hot news and constellations.

talk about an interest that you are most likely to arouse * * *.

Your fixed topic should be adjusted according to the different ages, genders and social identities of strangers in front of you. You should judge the life stage and social class of the opposite person, the problems that are most likely to be encountered at the moment, and the things that you want to share with others.

you will find the answer in your past experience. That is, what to talk about with the elderly, and what to talk about with the middle-aged and young people, who are the most enthusiastic and willing to continue chatting with you?

If you meet a 4-year-old woman with children for the first time, you can imagine that she has a hard time balancing her family and career, so talk about it. When you meet a 4-year-old childless woman for the first time, she should have plenty of spare time. She may love traveling and have other hobbies. Let's talk about this hobby.

You can talk about the workplace with a 4-year-old man, but don't talk about marriage with him unless you have other purposes.

4. Prepare a few jokes

You should also include a few jokes in your fixed topic.

Especially when you meet a group of strangers in a social place, you prepare a few fixed jokes. If you speak them skillfully and innocently, everyone will laugh, which will help you win people's favor. Who will hate a humorous person who makes you happy?

These jokes also help to turn your away game into your home game.

5. Ask questions

You can also ask questions. Ask questions outside the business-

(1) Relieve the silence and embarrassment

If you don't know what to say, repeat your words in a questioning tone, and the other person will have a desire to answer.

If you don't know how to catch the other person, repeat the last sentence of the other person in a questioning tone, and the other person will naturally think that you are interested in what he said and will explain it again.

(2) We can take a polygraph

Sometimes we ask questions, not to get answers, but to see the performance of the other party. We can throw questions at any time and at the right time, and we can observe the expression and reaction of the other party, and whether we will overturn what we just said in the question at the moment.

2. Time-saving: How to chat to achieve the goal as quickly as possible

1. Get to the topic as soon as possible

First, get to the topic as soon as possible, and after the necessary greetings, talk about the most important things first.

for the prepared and purposeful meeting, we have collected and analyzed the data, and on the way to meet, we have to decide what to talk about today. Of these things, which is the most important? I didn't do anything today. If I solve this thing, my efforts will not be in vain.

Every actor has a performance task and a purpose. What you have to solve is your task and purpose.

2. You control the time

You should let the other person know how long you can give him.

The person you made an appointment with at one o'clock in the afternoon, he spent fifteen minutes talking with your opening remarks in a fog. Just tell him what you have to do at three o'clock, so that the other person will know clearly that your conversation is only within two hours and the problem must be solved.

If it is inconvenient to tell directly, when the conversation reaches a certain stage, you can look at your watch; You can set the alarm clock in advance to remind you and remind the other party that the conversation is coming to an end; You can make an appointment in advance for someone to call you at a certain time to get out.

3. Identify when to stop and change the topic

If a person is not interested in your topic, it is a waste of time for you to talk more.

You should be very sensitive to whether the other person is interested-

The stranger sitting in front of you, his eyes began to wander around, looked at his watch frequently, interrupted you and didn't respond to your questions in time; When you make a speech at a large conference, half the people sitting in front of you start playing with their mobile phones and whispering to each other. At this time, it is time for you to stop and change the subject.

You can pause. Timely silence is a warning and reminder. You can ask questions, and the questions should be set so that the people in front of you have something to say. You can repeat the last sentence just now to emphasize it. A few jokes you have prepared before can also come in handy. A light joke will help people who are distracted to recover.

3. Save effort: how to save energy in chatting

1. Let the other party say first

For a prepared and purposeful meeting, we should get to the topic as soon as possible and talk about the most important things first.

once the most important topic is introduced, let the other person speak first, and let him introduce the situation and talk about conditions.

let the other person speak first, and you can judge immediately. Judging him by his tone and attitude. And in the process of his speech, think and prepare your conversation.

2. Make use of your fixed topics and questions

As we said earlier, according to people of different ages, identities and genders, we should prepare suitable topics and our own golden conversation direction.

If we want to save time and effort in chatting, we should try our best to guide the topic in the direction we are good at.

3. It is one thing to passively meet everyone in the same place

. When you can actively decide the date and time, you should try to solve the problem once and do more work per unit time.

people who need to meet when dealing with the same kind of problems, if there is no conflict between them, meet at the same time in one place. If there is a conflict, arrange it at a different time in one place.

Therefore, you should have your own strongholds in a city, east, west, north and south. You can quickly find a middle point in your office, a cafe or teahouse near you, or between you and your date.

When you make an appointment with all the people in the same place, you can save the traffic time and energy, and you can catch a breath between every two people and between conversations.

4. Remember, you only get one chance to have an important conversation

Actually, any interview, meeting speech, blind date ... can be included in the proposition of interacting with strangers. In a very important conversation, even a phone call, you should have an outline in your mind and rehearse it in advance.

to imagine all kinds of possibilities, how to deal with them, and how to answer them, it is the most energy-saving way to treat each meeting as a unique opportunity and do it once.