Can someone tell me some jokes? Ghost stories can also be used. Please, thank you.

A man went to the toilet and just closed the door when he heard the next door ask, Are you here? He said, yes, but he thought, who is next door? Do I know him? Strange! Then the next door asked, What are you doing here? He said angrily, shit! What can you do here? ! The next door asked again, when are you leaving? He thought: this person is probably insane! He said with annoyance: pull it and leave! ! At this time, the next door asked again, will you come to me later? The man was surprised: Cao! So it's gay! He cursed: Fuck you, pervert! The next door said, well, hang up first and call you back later. There's an idiot next to me! Old fucking talk to me! ! A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms, making a hug, and stepping forward was a kick. The man fell to the ground and cried, saying, It's the third piece. Who did I provoke? Is it so difficult to bring a piece of glass home? Ge You went to the toilet once, and Ge You invited a friend to dinner. He went to the toilet halfway, and when he came back, his pants were wet. Friend: Why are your pants wet? Ge You: It's always been like this since I became famous. Friend: Often? Ge You: Yes! It is often that the person next to him suddenly turns around and shouts, "Isn't this Ge You?" 4 Lucky 52' s true joke made Li Yong laugh himself down! PART1: a couple, guess the name of the food, the wife gesticulates to the husband to guess. The word "steamed bread" popped up on the big screen. Wife's description: round, white, edible husband: .......................................................................................................................................... Husband seems to be anxious, blurting out: "mimi!" Li Yong laughed himself down. . . . . I asked for money to go home by bus once. When I got on the bus, I found that there was no one-yuan change in my wallet. When I was in a hurry, I took out a ten-yuan bill and put it into the slot. Later, the more I thought about it, the more I felt timid, so I discussed with the driver whether I could keep at the door and keep the money that the next passenger should have put into the coin slot for myself. The driver agreed. The bus soon drove to the next stop, and many people scrambled to get on. I stopped at the door and said to the first passenger, "Give me the money." The other party was stunned: "Why?" Without explaining it in a few words, I said, "Just give it to me, and don't worry about anything else." The other party stared at the driver, and the driver nodded acquiescently. So, I got a dollar. Processed according to law, and soon received eight one-dollar money. Then came up a big fellow, hunched, with a inch plate shaved and a tattoo. Seeing that I stopped him, I said angrily, "Why? Dude? " I said, "I'll talk to you later. Give me the money first." The other person's eyes are round: "What are you talking about?" I said, "Give me the money!" The other person opened his mouth wide and asked the driver, "What does this kid do?" The man was blocked at the door, and the people behind him couldn't get on, but the people in the carriage were in a hurry to start, so everyone shouted noisily: "What are you fussing about?" Give money quickly! " The big fellow soon collapsed. I saw him take out his wallet from his pocket and hand it over, and said with a sad face, "Boss, that's all I have on me. There are many of you, so I'm convinced. 6 This afternoon, I was chatting with a group of female colleagues, and suddenly someone said I was not a man. I said, you said I wasn't, so I took it out and showed it to you. One of the girls laughed, and said, You pay ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~. Hearing the good news! I worked hard today, and I ran away from more than a dozen customers! Back to the company. It's three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the canteen, I found only a miserable dish and a soup, three beans fried with meat (fried soybeans, green beans and peas) and radish soup. No way, after running all morning, the customer's stomach growled, so he had to order a big plate of fried three beans with meat and a big pot of radish soup and eat it! I didn't expect to get off work, and my stomach was like the engine of a cross-country jeep! -started the intense piston movement! In a flash, spurts of gas rushed out of my body! I rushed to the place where no one was there, and my stomach began to sing softly with embarrassment, but it immediately turned into a rapid-fire puff! My stomach is so swollen! Just then, my girlfriend called and said that she had arrived home and told me to go home quickly. Alas! I have no choice but to go home. I hope she won't see my mess! ..... On the way home, I deliberately tried to fart a lot. I'm almost home, and my stomach feels much better. I don't think there should be any more problems. I saw my girlfriend waiting at the door from a distance. She looked a little excited. She shouted, "honey, I have prepared a wonderful gift for you tonight, which will definitely surprise you." Before I entered the door, my girlfriend covered my eyes tightly with a piece of cloth, saying that she wanted to give me a surprise! He led me to a chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I feel like farting again. Just then, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse that it was too messy and asked her to answer the phone in the other room! She insisted that I couldn't open the blindfolded cloth and made me swear! Then I ran to another room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I seized the opportunity, moved all my weight to one leg and let my fart out. This fart is not only loud, but also smells like rotten eggs. I could hardly breathe, so I touched the chair cushion and fanned it around hard, trying to fan off the unpleasant smell. Just when I was feeling better, another fart came again. I raised my leg again and started to release it! It sounds like the rapid rotation of a diesel engine, and this time the smell is even worse. In order not to suffocate myself, I fanned my chair cushion with my arm, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible. When everything is about to return to normal again, another fart can't wait to come. So I stood up, bent down, and pursed my ass back and up! Let it out. This fart is really first-class. Even the newspaper behind me was blown to the ground in ........... I listened to the voice of my girlfriend talking in another room. Because I have to keep my promise not to peek, I dare not open the blindfold. I can only fart constantly in the dark, in order to get rid of all the gas in my stomach quickly, without making the room more smelly! I untied my waistband, faded my underwear and trousers below my stomach, exposed my ass, and groped for the door of the balcony behind me, almost extending my whole ass to the balcony, and began to fart crazily ..., ah! Much better! After that, I danced and fanned the chair cushions all over the house, praying that the stench would dissipate quickly ... In this way, in the next ten minutes, I kept farting and fanning the chair cushions. Finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my stomach were much better! I quickly tied my pants, tidied my hair, and began to wait for my dear girl to surprise me with an elegant smile. When she came near, I had a contented smile on my face and a warm look. My girlfriend first apologized for calling me for such a long time, and then asked me if I had ever secretly opened the cloth. After I assured her that I didn't peek, my girlfriend removed the cloth covering my eyes and said to me, "What a surprise! My girlfriend insisted that I bring them to see you today. They said you were very graceful in the photo and handsome! Here! You see, the five people sitting at the table are all good sisters in my unit, and the six people standing on the balcony are my best friends at school! " At this time, I was extremely shocked and frightened to find that there were a lot of girls sitting at the table opposite me, while there was another pile standing on the balcony behind me. They all came to attend this birthday party that surprised me very much. Now, each of them looks at me with an indescribable expression on her face, just like discovering Martians ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… So the puppy licked the chicken's ass. 9. The female colleague of our unit went to the bank by bus yesterday. There was a young woman in the car who was dressed very brightly. A pervert passed by, standing behind her and making physical contact with her back and forth. The woman was furious and turned around and swore: You squeeze a J8! ! At this time, the car was quiet. After a few seconds of dullness, the colored man replied: A J8 was laughing in the car at that time. Our colleague said that several boys wanted to help the girl in the past, but they were all too happy. Later, as soon as they arrived at the station, the pervert got off the bus for 1 times. When I went shopping, I suddenly felt a pain in my stomach, so I went into the 199 hot pot restaurant on the corner and wanted to borrow a toilet, but I couldn't find it all over the first floor, so I ran to the second floor, which was still being renovated and empty. However, I found that there was a toilet door stuck with a fault to be repaired, so please don't use it. I really couldn't help it. I don't care about it. Anyway, there was no one around. I took off my pants and squatted down to the toilet. It was a bang ... It was so cool! ! After the end, I went downstairs and found that there was no one. Strangely, it was dinner time. Just now, weddings said downstairs, why did people go to the building all at once? Even the waiter and receptionist disappeared ... So I approached the bar and asked, "Is anyone there?" Why is there no one? At this time, I saw a male waiter come out from under the bar and said, *! ..... You weren't there when shit fell from the ceiling and hit the electric fan just now? Lucky for you, the escaped prisoner escaped from the prison where he was held for fifteen years. He broke into a house looking for food and money, only to find a young couple in bed. So he ordered her husband to get out of bed and tied him to a chair. Then he tied his wife to the bed and kissed her neck for a long time, then went into the toilet. When the fugitive was in the toilet, the husband said to his wife, "Listen, this man must be a fugitive, just look at his clothes." He must have been in prison for too long. He hasn't seen a woman for years. I can see it from the way he kissed your neck. If he wants to sleep with you, don't resist, don't complain, do as he says, and meet his requirements no matter how much he abuses you. He must be very dangerous. If he gets angry, he may kill us all. You must hold on, baby, I love you. " The wife said, "He didn't kiss my neck, but whispered in my ear. He told me he was gay, and he thought you were cute, and asked me if I had vaseline at home. I told him it was in the toilet. You must hold on, baby, I love you, too ... 12. In a remote mountainous area, a woman was born with water and flowers. Shortly after her marriage, her man went out to do business, and the woman was having an affair with her lover in the house. Halfway through, listening to the footsteps outside, the woman hurriedly asked her lover to put on a sheepskin coat and hide in the backyard sheepfold. The man came back and pulled the woman to have sex, but the woman refused. The man was so hungry that he went to the backyard and caught a sheep. It happened that the sheep was pretended by the woman's lover. After the sex, the man went back to his room and got up in the middle of the night to catch the sheep and vent. In the morning, the man got up, thinking back to last night, thinking that the sheep had a different taste, he went to the backyard again, grabbed the sheep and was about to act. The sheep suddenly stood up and said, "Are you fucking crazy? Am I the only sheep in the sheepfold?" When I was in high school, a buddy in my class was born in 1981. He was very old ... The following happened when he took the bus: In his sophomore year, this buddy took the bus to school. Because of the long journey, when he was bored, a 35-year-old man next door talked to him. The man opened his mouth and said, "Big Brother, where are you going?" This buddy may have been treated like this a lot, and he was not very surprised. He answered quite calmly: "Three Middle Schools". The man's second sentence: "oh, go to see the children?" It's hard for children to go to school ... "The elder brothers face twitched and didn't reply. The third sentence: "Big Brother, how old is your child?" That buddy was really annoyed and didn't explain, so he slipped a sentence: "Senior one" at this time, the classics appeared. The man stared at the buddy with great surprise for ten seconds and then said, "Brother, you got married very late!" " I look good!