Is there anyone who can tell jokes?

1, rushing to pay the bill-"Old classmates are always rushing to pay the bill. He thinks it is to show off their wealth and kill them."

Then don't pay the bill-"old classmates always don't pay the bill, he thinks he is a big head to kill himself."

Or AA-"Old classmates have been AA because they have money. He thought it was because he didn't know himself and killed him. "

Don't eat at all-"Old classmates always refuse to eat. He felt that he looked down on himself and killed him.

2. There is a boy from the physical education department of a university. He went out to bask in the quilt during the day and didn't want to give up his girlfriend after a date at night. As a result, he had a whim, put his sister on the bed and put it back in the dormitory. The aunt in charge of the room didn't find out at all.

After a sleep, I took my sister out in the same way the next day.

Later, it became famous in the whole school, and everyone followed suit.

It's a pity that no one has taught it in college before. ...

3. I work as HR in a primary and secondary school training institution. The company recruited teachers the other day. A beautiful woman came for an interview.

Me: Why are you fighting for teachers?

She: I was determined to be a great man when I was a child, but later I felt that being a great man was not as good as being a great teacher.

4. Two newlyweds were making out at home, but the bed was too loud. The husband complained, "Wife, this bed is creaking, and others are embarrassed to hear it."

The wife said shyly, "honey, it's okay." If I speak louder, others won't hear the bed ring! " "

There was a man in the class who was very sissy. Once a buddy laughed at his mother in front of the whole class.

As a result, he couldn't help getting angry. He stood up, patted the table and shouted at the man, "If you ever call me a sissy again, I'll turn against you!"

6. I was drinking with my friend outside and I accidentally saw his girlfriend and two men coming out of the hotel. Seeing that my friends' faces have changed, I have to comfort them weakly: it turns out that your daughter-in-law also likes fighting landlords. . .

7. In the morning, my wife asked me what "second-rate goods" meant.

I casually replied: "second-hand goods" are second-hand goods.

She was silent for a few seconds and said, "No wonder Duan's friends and couples are mostly' idiots'. In this era of gunfire, not three goods and four goods are worth showing off. "

Me: ........

8. A man knelt in front of the Buddha after drinking and prayed to him: Let me pass! My requirements are not high. There are villas, sports cars, companies and beautiful wives. Suddenly, after some searching, he crossed.

Finding herself lying in an ancient bed, a beautiful young woman came over with a smile and a bowl in her hand: Dalang, it's time to take medicine.

9. I always see a young man walking up and down the bridge these days, from morning till night! Passing by him today, I couldn't help asking him, "Dude, why are you always walking up and down this bridge these days?"

The buddy replied: "I went to see my girlfriend's parents a few days ago. Her father thinks I'm not mature enough to marry my daughter. He also said that I have crossed more bridges than I have. I'm so grumpy, I want to cross the bridge more than him! Dare to say that I am immature! "

Me: ". . . . . "

10, four old women get together to chat.

A: My son, not bad, became CEO, and a friend gave him a BMW directly for his birthday.

My son is a captain. Last time his friend's birthday, he flew around the world for free.

C: My son is in real estate. I gave my friend a villa directly for his birthday.

D said: My son is unemployed, but he is gay, but he received a BMW and a villa on his birthday, and someone took him around the world.

I'll start with Gong Zhong: Cai Qin's jokes (note: removing spaces is actually the pinyin of celery's jokes. )

I copied it from here. Watch it every day. hahaha.