How do parents educate children with psychological inferiority?

The so-called inferiority complex means that you always think that you are inferior to others in some aspects, resulting in all kinds of negative emotions. There are many reasons for this mentality. Generally speaking:

Physical and physiological reasons. Facts have proved that children who are often ill are often more likely to feel inferior than healthy children. Differences in children's physical strength, height and appearance will also lead to the formation of children's inferiority complex.

The reason of intelligence and ability. Some children will feel inferior because their reactions are not as sensitive as others, their academic performance is not as good as others, or their specialties are not as good as others. Some people, in particular, may fall into inferiority if their grades are still not improved after their efforts.

Social and family reasons. Experts believe that poverty is the enemy of children's psychological development. Children from rich families have superior living conditions, but children from poor families have to scrimp and save, so children from poor families are more likely to be timid, retreat and lack self-confidence than children from rich families of the same age. In addition, broken families, rude parents and lack of democracy often make children feel insignificant.

Children with low self-esteem come to a conclusion in their hearts: I am not as good as others. He uses beauty, intelligence or other qualities to measure his own value, and his sense of inferiority makes children always alert to the evaluation of outsiders. In this way, children's sensitivity to things is very different from others. Such children are extremely disgusted with any criticism, even the mildest remarks are regarded as personal attacks. They are too sensitive and defensive, as if to constantly defend themselves, and even excessive praise is unacceptable, because he doubts the motivation of others to praise or thinks that he is not worthy of praise at all. These children think that they are not as smart, charming, lively and humorous as others, they will overreact to all the remarks that concern them, and they will also care about other ordinary things. Children who are obviously different from other children are more likely to get hurt. They pay more attention to these differences than others and always think that others are making fun of and mocking themselves. These differences include short, tall, fat, thin and big parts (nose, ears, etc.). ), disability and so on.

Children with low self-esteem think that they are worthless or inferior to others, which is a wrong start, and then they are forced to protect themselves from more harm. Therefore, "caution" has become their motto. They don't take any unnecessary risks emotionally, they don't take the initiative to talk to others, they don't speak in front of everyone, they don't participate in competitions, and they don't defend their dignity even when they are laughed at by their peers. They think the best way to save face is to say nothing. Since childhood, they have dealt with their inner inferiority with patience.

However, such psychology is often not easy to be recognized and understood. For example, in most classes, you can find several children who think they are failures. They sit quietly in their seats year after year in primary school, but they don't know what they are thinking. Students feel "shy" or "quiet", but they don't know their true feelings.

People around me have two big misunderstandings about such children: one is because they are quiet, seldom talk, indifferent and often mistaken for arrogance. In fact, they are afraid that others will look down on them. The other is because he seldom talks, and others think that he is not very intelligent. In fact, on the contrary, this child, like everyone else, has many thoughts and feelings, but he has learned silence since he was a child and thinks it is the safest defense. This practice often brings bad consequences to boys and makes them easy to be bullied.

From a psychologist's point of view, we should pay more attention to this seemingly shrinking child than those children who often get into trouble and fight. Both extreme children need the help of adults very much, but the quitter often gets less help, because he won't interfere with others, cooperates with the teacher very much and tries to avoid conflicts with his classmates. This attitude makes adults mistakenly think that there is nothing wrong with him, but ignores that his negative self-image is gradually stereotyped and difficult to reverse.

To be a good parent, the most basic skill is to be able to look at the problem from the child's point of view and share the child's views, feelings and expectations. The success of the whole parent-child relationship depends largely on whether parents have enough insight. Guidance is extremely important for children's inferiority complex. Let the children know that everyone in the world has the ability of size, handsome and ugly, and all kinds of conditions are difficult to change. And our education, our society, should make everyone put in a correct position, make everyone get by, and make everyone get his place. This is a stable society. There is an old lady who is practicing medicine in Hebei, leaving a famous sentence: "The needle has passed, and the line has passed, so everyone can get by." This sentence is simple and clear, but profound. If there is no such understanding, it may make children develop from inferiority and lead to tragedy.

People live by virtue, and it can be said that self-confidence supports people. And our parents and teachers often let their children live in weaknesses intentionally or unintentionally, just like living in a swamp that they can't get out of. When a teacher criticizes a student, he always takes another student as a reference. Parents prefer to compare the shortcomings of their children with the advantages of other children. Parents' starting point is to motivate their children. In fact, they invisibly put a lot of pressure on their children, which will only make them feel more inferior. How do you think to prevent children from causing tragedy because of inferiority complex?

My educational suggestions are: first, guide children to appreciate themselves in various ways and gradually replace inferiority with self-confidence. The core of education is not to impart knowledge, but to cultivate healthy personality. Second, parents should give their children more opportunities to experience success and cheer for their success. The third is to often let children talk about their troubles. Everyone has weaknesses, and parents can't turn a blind eye. But to understand and understand children from their perspective, because there are often reasons for inferiority. If parents take time to communicate with their children every day and listen to what troubles their children have encountered in one day, they can guide and resolve their children's troubles at the first time and avoid the regrets and tragedies caused by their deep inferiority as much as possible.