Are there any dirty jokes and stories to share?

1. Why are socks always lost one by one? This problem has puzzled me for many years. Just now, I finally figured it out Because if you lose both at the same time, you won't even notice. .

When an unmarried girl finds out she is pregnant, her first reaction is "It's over, my mother will kill me". As everyone knows, the child in her belly is also thinking, "It's over, my mother will kill me."

Every time I quarrel with my wife, I will go to the kitchen and screw all kinds of cans and lids to death. When the cold war comes, my wife always talks to me first. If I can't be strong, I will be willful.

When you walk into a shopping mall or a clothing store, you will spend money, but I won't. I usually get money, even in hospitals and police stations. I went in, and they all had to pay me.

I can't help it Delivery is awesome.

5. The sparrow went to pedicure and asked Miss Parrot: Does it count to wash feet? Theory counts? Miss parrot said: nonsense, of course forget it!

The sparrow rushed to the door and called, Brother Centipede, come in. I said look at someone else.

6. A sister asked me what is the most intolerable thing for a woman.

I immediately replied: When running, my stomach shakes worse than my chest.

7. I was chatting with a group of girls today, and a girl pointed at me and said, "You are not a man".

I was furious: "If you say I'm not a man, I'll show it to you."

I didn't expect that sister to say, "Take it out if you can. . . ! "

. . . Then I took out my ID card.

8. "Boss, pay the bill" Boss: "A ***207 can be counted as 200."

Me: "Does 2 10 count as 200?"

Boss: "Not bad"

Me: "Waiter, give me another bottle of Sprite."

9. Girl A: "Hey, you've lost a lot of weight recently! What weight loss products are used? "

Girl B: "Thanks to my new LV bag, it helped me lose weight!" " "

Girl A: "Don't be ridiculous! I heard for the first time that LV bags have the function of losing weight! "

Girl B: "In order to buy this LV bag, I won't eat or drink for a whole year! Do you think you can't lose weight? ! ! ! "

10, met a woman, grabbed the water bottle that her boyfriend hadn't unscrewed for a while and unscrewed it instantly. My boyfriend said unhappily, I am not weak.

Hearing this, the woman shouted "Ah-Ah" and threw the bottle cap back, but her boyfriend didn't twist it for a long time. ...

I'll start with Gong Zhong: Cai Qin's jokes (note: removing spaces is actually the pinyin of celery's jokes. )

I copied it from here. Watch it every day. hahaha.