Journey to the west joke

1. Wan Li is clear, the sun is shining, and the surf is beating on the shore. Cracks gradually appeared on the nameless stone. The cracks are getting bigger and bigger. Finally, I only heard a roar. A monkey jumped out and said, wow, wow, wow, I finally came out, finally came out!

Then, he stared at the broken stone: tmd, don't think wearing a ring can erase me.

2. The mountains are towering and the motor is striding. The Tang Priest rode his bicycle to Wuzhishan, only to hear a voice not far away: Master, Master, come and save me!

Tang Priest wondered when there was another apprentice. However, saving a life is like building a seven-level pagoda. So the Tang Priest strolled and said, Monkey, what do you want?

The Monkey King: Don't you see? I'm locked in here, please untie me!

Tang Priest: What?

The Monkey King: Just enter the password given by the Bodhisattva and cooperate with the secret protection!

3. Tang Priest and the Monkey King drove to the * * Temple and found that the abbot of this temple turned out to be a monster, so Tang Priest and the Monkey King discussed how to solve it.

The Monkey King: Why don't we just set this place on fire!

Tang Priest: No, there are many beautiful female nuns here. We can't influence them.

The Monkey King: Otherwise, let's go to the abbot's yard and roast it!

Tang Priest: Well, I think so. You can have a tryst with a nun at dinner.

4. the Monkey King fights with Erlang God, who turns into a snake and the Monkey King into an eagle. Jiro became a fish, and the Monkey King became a penguin. Jiro resented and became a woman. He wanted the Monkey King to panic at the sight of women. Who knows, when the Monkey King saw the woman in front of him, she smiled coldly and became a walking pig.

The Monkey King, the Tang Priest, came to Gaolaozhuang by bike and saw a pig trying to flirt with a emerald. So the Monkey King strode forward and beat the pig. After Pig Bajie was beaten, the Monkey King looked at the graceful and naked emerald lying on the ground. At this moment, the Tang Priest came over and patted the Monkey King on the shoulder and said, Wukong, you have no experience with such a woman, so let me do it!

6. Pig Bajie worshiped at the door of Tang Priest's house and saw Tang Priest's indecent assault on his beloved Cui Lan. He was a little angry, so he went to the spider cave: Sister Spider, I'm a Buddha. Let's have a baby-making exercise!

Spider Spirit: No, my body is reserved for Tang Tang.

Pig Bajie: Ah! Why?

Spider essence: His penis is very big!

7. The Tang Priest the Monkey King Pig Bajie drove to the Liusha River, and Friar Sand immediately rushed to hold Tang Priest's feet and shouted to Pig Bajie in the Monkey King: Don't hit me! I brought you some beautiful women today!

Hearing this, the Tang Priest lowered his head and looked at him bitterly: Huh? Where's mine?

Friar Sand: Master, I have heard for a long time that you are a beauty, and the Buddha is in her heart. Of course, I brought you the best in the world.

8. The Tang Priest and his disciples enjoyed the happiness of the world, but today they are worried. Why?

Because their car can't hold so many people!

Why do you need to pack so many people? Are there more than four priests and tutors?

Because they want to pick up their sister, they need space to sit with their sister! So they decided to buy several TV stations. But what brand should I buy?

The Monkey King: I want a Rolls Royce.

Pig Bajie: No, that's too conspicuous. Why not Ferrari?

Friar Sand: Ferrari is also very conspicuous! Not as good as Honda!

Tang Priest: Grass mud horse, do you dare to buy Japanese goods?

Friar Sand: Oh, yes! What should we do?

The Monkey King: How about buying a red flag?

Pig Bajie: No, we are not from China, but from the Tang Dynasty. Or buy Volkswagen!

Friar Sand: Volkswagen? That's rubbish!

Pig Bajie: What do you think?

Friar Sand: Let me see. ......

Soon, the Tang Priest waved his hand and said, Forget it. I don't think it is necessary to buy it. If I have a sister in the future, I will sit with my sister.

9. The Tang Priest and his disciples came to the daughter country. Tang Priest: I want the king of my daughter country. You can choose anything else.

The Monkey King: OK! I choose two! I choose two princesses.

Friar Sand: I choose ten! Pick ten at random.

Pig Bajie: Take your time. My wife Chang 'e asked me to go home for dinner.

The Tang Priest lamented: Oh, it's a good thing I didn't marry Bai before, otherwise I wouldn't have a chance to pick up girls today!

10. The Tang Priest came to Leidayin Temple and said, Tathagata, I'm here to learn from the scriptures!

Tathagata: Do you have any money?

Tang Priest: Of course!

Tathagata: I want you to place an order in Taobao to ensure the rights and interests of both of us.

Tang Priest: But I don't have a Taobao account!

Tathagata: I have the Internet here. You can apply immediately!

Tang Priest: But dear, you don't have a bank or mobile communication here. How to fill in the money?

Tathagata: You didn't get a bank card in Datang?

Tang Priest: No!

Tathagata: Well, there is only one way for you!

Tang Priest: What can I do?

Tathagata: To write a paragraph, you can withdraw money directly to Alipay!

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