I am in a bad mood today. Who will tell me some jokes to make me happy?

I used to sleep until noon and get up during the Spring Festival. I once vaguely heard my parents chatting. My father said, who will marry our daughter in the future? My mother said, it's pathetic. Should we sympathize with our son-in-law? Dad said: No.

It should be that man has committed too many crimes in his last life and is not worthy of sympathy.

"Master, I dreamed that my girlfriend dumped me, and then I was with my best friend in a few days. I am afraid that this dream will come true. " "Don't worry, benefactor, dreams are all reversed." "Great, is it true?" I should be with your best friend first, and then dump you. 』

My niece asked me why Donald is surnamed Tang, and I explained to her that Donald likes candy. My niece asked me why Mickey Mouse's last name was Mi. I said that because Mickey Mouse loves rice, my little niece nodded puzzled, then grabbed Shrek around her and threw him out of the window.

After careful reflection, I feel that the two voices I heard most often when I was a child, "Pay attention to reversing" and "Zero, Zero, Return to Return to Return to Zero", used the same seiyuu. ...

My favorite shoes are out of size, so I went to the store next door and bought a beautiful coat. The noodle restaurant I used to go to closed down, so I went to another restaurant and ate a bowl of delicious powder. When the person you like is gone, you should take a good class and make more money. There are countless ways to make yourself happy, and there are countless ways to the future. People will grow up, and what they once indulged in will become a dispensable pastime. Nothing is irreplaceable, including you.

The lion saw a mad dog and ran away. The little lion said, Dad, don't you dare to compete with the tiger and cheetah. Why did you run away from a mad dog? The lion asked, "Son, is it an honor to beat a mad dog?" The little lion shook his head. "Isn't it good for a mad dog to take a bite?" The little lion nodded. "In that case, why bother a mad dog?" Not everyone deserves to be your opponent. Don't argue with people who have no quality. Smile away from him and don't let him bite you.

The teacher was angry with his classmates. As a monitor, of course, I can't sit idly by and ignore this situation, so I rushed to the podium and put some walnuts at his feet.

To what extent do I like you? I want to compare you to a second. When I finally finished my homework after staying up for a few days, I knew that I didn't have to get up early the next day, put on my new pajamas, took a shower, and it was raining heavily outside. I read a book with a small light on for a while and then leaned my head on a soft pillow.

The young woman was lovelorn and bowed her head and cried sadly. The Zen master comforted: "You just lost someone who didn't love you, but he lost someone who loved him deeply. 」

The young woman looked up and dried her tears: "So I am lucky and he is unfortunate, right?" The Zen master looked sad: "In fact, I don't have any love experience, but I felt very good when I saw this sentence on the night when the teacher robbed the Taoist priest." 」

I have been in love many times, and I have had ten emotional experiences. Do you mind? ""You talked about ten girlfriends! ! ！” "Don't blather, where did you get ten? Only three are girls.