A humorous story to relieve stress.

Tutu said, "My mother calls me Tutu, which is nice!" "The pig said," My mother calls me a pig, which is very nice! ""The dog said, "My mother called me a puppy, which is nice!" "The chicken said," you talk, I walked first! "The rabbit said," I'm a son of a bitch! " "The pig said," I'm a son of a bitch! "The chicken said," I am a son of a bitch! " "The dog said," you talk, I walked first! "No.0 sparring partner said," Outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice! " No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!" No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort!" No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, let's go first!" The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!" " "The dog said to me," I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice! "The fish said to me," I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice! " "The bear said," You talk, I'll go first! " "Lang Ke said," People call me a ronin, which is very nice! " The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!" The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "The swordsman said," you talk, I walked first. Jane Zhang said, "My fans say my idol is Ying." He Jie said, "My fans say my idol is Jay." "My fans say my idol is Chang." Chris Lee said, "you chat, I walked first. The senior math teacher said that I teach senior math this semester, and the college physics teacher said that I teach senior math this semester. Peking University said: I am from Peking University. Tianjin University said: I am older. Shanghai University said: I went to college. Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first! General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! General fu said to him: I am just! General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first. Minolta users say: we are beautiful women! Canon users say: we are beautiful! The user of Huaguang said: We are from China! Nikon users said: you chat, I'll go first. The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said: the door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said: The door of Lao Liu's house is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first! Bai Yu said: My name is White. Jade jade said, my name is jasper. Redjade said, My name is Redjade. Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first! Teachers' College students said: I am a student of Railway Institute. Teachers' College students said: I am a student of Vocational College of Iron Institute. I am a student of Technical College of Vocational College. You can talk. I'll go first! Jokes about asking questions: Question: There is a virus in my computer. What pesticides should I buy? Answer 1: Nothing. You can leave the computer on for a month and let the virus starve to death. Answer 2: Starving to death is not enough. I'm too hungry. What if the virus crawls out and infects someone else's computer? Not only will you have the opportunity to starve to death, but you will also seal the computer with a bag and cut it off from water, food and gas. Answer 3: Use Fuyanjie. Washing is healthier. Answer 4: Yanfu Street cannot be used. Upstairs. What if the computer is a man? In fact, the tide is the best. No harm to hands, sterilization. Answer 5: None upstairs is kind. Computer viruses can't use pesticides. Just take the computer to the epidemic prevention station and give the doctor an injection. After that, an injection every year can completely prevent the virus from invading. Problem: I have a virus in my computer; I sprayed insecticide on the mainframe. Why don't I care? "Answer 1: You can find the theory of pesticide manufacturers, or you can sue the Consumers Association. Answer 2: It doesn't matter if you don't spray enough pots. My best answer: Chinese virus should be a software problem, not a hardware problem, and it is useless for you to spray the host. You should turn on the computer, remove the hard disk, and then remove the hard disk before spraying, which will solve your problem! (Don't laugh, be serious) Question: Why doesn't the moon go around the sun? Answer: Because the moon goes around the earth. Question: What's the harm of crossing your legs? Answer: * * * will be half big and half small. Question: An intellectual problem. What's behind 228? What is behind 103? What is behind 85? All three answers are the same! Just give me the answer. Answer: Yes. Question: Help! My computer won't open! The fan doesn't turn, and the motherboard light doesn't light up! Best answer: Is it plugged in? The best answer is added: No! Short joke 1. Teacher: How to reduce white pollution? Classmate: Make the lunch box blue. 2. Which is the worst, tiger skin, elephant skin and lion skin? A: Like leather. Because the eraser (poor). 3. Q: What are three things with a head and a foot? A: Three monsters with one head and one foot! One day, the little yellow duck was hit by a car while crossing the road. He shouted, "Quack! "From then on, it became a cucumber. Xiao Ming: Kang, the shark ate mung beans. What has it become? Kang: I don't know. Xiaoming: Silly. Green bean paste (mung bean shark) 6. One day, a mother-in-law took a bus. She doesn't know the way halfway. She hit the driver with a stick and said, "Where is this? "Driver: This is my * * *. 7. Polar bears play with penguins. Penguins plucked all their hair. After plucking his hair, he said to the polar bear, how cold it is! Hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out all his hair. He turned to the penguin and said, it's cold! 8. One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin? "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, Dad, Dad, am I a penguin? "Yes, you are a penguin. Why? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?" Thief spirit 1. I didn't bring anything when I got on the bus except the bus fare of 1 yuan. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "An adult goes out without anything, and it's no shame to lose it." Thief company. "The second time, I took a broken wallet with 1 cent in it. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession, thank you. Thief company. "The third time, I broke my wallet, which contained 100 counterfeit money. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "It is illegal to hide large denomination counterfeit banknotes. Please consciously hand it over to the relevant departments. Thank you. Thief company. "The fourth time, I took an envelope containing a stack of expired beauty magazines. When I arrived at the terminal, I found the envelope was still there. I took out the newspaper and read it. Instead, it was a piece of paper that read hongshu0 and 1: "Now is the information age. Only by updating information in time can we keep up with the times! Thief company. "The fifth time, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket. After arriving at the terminal, the mobile phone was still there, and there was an extra note: "Please don't make such jokes and affect the normal work of our company, thank you. Thief company. "The sixth time, I took a toy pistol and stuck it in my waist. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the gun was gone and a note was stuffed in my pants: "I hate you robbers most, you have no technical content at all!" "Confiscation of criminal tools! -thief company. " The seventh time, I was about to get on the bus, and there were too many people to squeeze in. When waiting for the next bus, I felt in my pocket and found that there was an extra 20 yuan, and there was a note: "Brother, our business is not easy this day. This is 20 yuan. Where do you want to take a taxi? Please don't mess with us again! " The thief company respected the boss and said to the secretary, I'll take you to Beijing for a walk these days. Get ready. The secretary called her husband: I'm going to Beijing to have a meeting with my boss these days. Take care of yourself. Husband calls his lover: My wife is going to Beijing for business these days. Let's come out and play. My lover called the little boy who was tutoring his homework: there is no class these days, so I have something to do. The little boy called his grandpa: grandpa. You don't have to go to class, please play with me. Grandpa called his secretary: I have to play with my grandson these days and I can't go to Beijing. The secretary called her husband: The boss is very busy these days, so we won't go to Beijing for a meeting. Husband calls his lover: I can't come out to play these days, and my wife won't go to Beijing. My lover called the little boy who helped me with my homework: I will continue my normal class these days. The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, I have classes these days. Lovers are grass and must be protected. Plant a big tree and a meadow. Enjoy the cool under the big tree and walk the birds on the grass. Harmonious society, environmental protection, brothers and sisters, Happy Valentine's Day! Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, remember to consolidate old lovers, develop new lovers, protect young lovers and beware of insiders. I wish old lovers not to get old, new lovers not to run, and many young lovers not to be disturbed! Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!