After marriage, brother in law pushed my luck. How should I show my cards to my husband?

When it comes to moral kidnapping, many people suffer from it and gnash their teeth with anger. Among moral kidnapping, the most common and distressing thing is the moral kidnapping from family. Kidnapping is very common in life, for example, as the eldest son and daughter in the family, she is asked to take care of her younger brothers and sisters. As the people with the best living conditions in the family, they will be asked to help their poor relatives.

If you refuse their demands because you don't want to, the labels of unfilial, inconsiderate and cold-blooded will be put on your head, which will condemn you by public opinion and force you to accept these unreasonable demands. I met a moral kidnapping from my family, and my mother-in-law and husband wanted to force me to do something I didn't want to do.

1

I made a serious mistake when I got married. When I got married, I was in a hurry. I didn't go to the man's house to see the situation and didn't know the character of my ex-husband's family in time.

I met my ex-husband on the recommendation of my aunt. At that time, I was 27 years old and didn't have a boyfriend. My mother felt very anxious and asked people everywhere to introduce me to someone. Of all the blind dates, I met my ex-husband who was in the same boat with me. He also faced the urge of his parents to get married, and we hit it off at once, talking about our experiences in a lawsuit.

After getting along for a period of time, we feel that we are quite suitable for each other. In addition, my parents kept urging me to get married, so I promised to get married with him as soon as possible. We got married smoothly. My parents only asked for a bride price of 66 thousand yuan, and my sister-in-law bought me a dowry. My ex-husband and I each took out a sum of money and paid the down payment for the wedding room. After we bought the wedding room, my ex-husband's parents moved in. I don't object to living with my in-laws. We all need to go to work and someone needs to take care of things at home. 2

After I got married, I found that my decision to get married in a hurry was wrong and outrageous.

First of all, my ex-husband is a man with no self-motivation. His job is very easy, and he lives a nine-to-six life every day without overtime. After returning home from work, her ex-husband lay in bed and played his game.

His salary is not high either. After paying off the mortgage, he has little left. He needs his mother-in-law to supplement his living expenses every month.

I also urged him to make progress and suggested that he change his job, but he didn't want to chew on the old age with a clear conscience.

then, my mother-in-law is not a good mother-in-law.

we have been married for less than a year, and she began to urge me to have children. Her reason is that I'm old, and it's not easy to get pregnant if I don't give birth.

I thought at that time that maybe after having children, my ex-husband would be self-motivated and would fight for the children. So, I accepted my mother-in-law's advice and got pregnant with my first child.

after I got pregnant, I found out that my mother-in-law had a feudal idea of preferring sons to daughters in her bones.

I went to the maternity check-up after I got pregnant. She gave the doctor a red envelope behind my back and wanted to ask the doctor about the sex of my baby, but the doctor refused.

Later, I gave birth to my daughter, which made my mother-in-law feel very disappointed. She didn't want to take care of my confinement, and kept urging me to keep healthy and have a second child early.

after the birth of her daughter, her husband is still not enterprising and leads the same life as before. He believes that a daughter is not like a son. When she grows up, she doesn't need to buy a house to get married, and he doesn't need to earn too much money for her.

I am disappointed in my husband, and I no longer have hope. I just want to make do and give my daughter a complete home.

However, my mother-in-law has been urging me to have a second child, hoping that I can breed incense for their family.

I was very angry: "Didn't I give birth to a daughter? Isn't the daughter also a child of your family? "

My mother-in-law's answer made me even more annoyed: "My daughter is a loss-making product, which is for others to raise. I want a grandson."

my mother-in-law and I have different opinions, and our relationship is very stiff, but I don't want to have a second child, and she can't force me.

3

When my mother-in-law saw that I didn't want to have a second child, and her attitude was very firm, she was so angry that she decided to have one herself.

She went to the hospital to consult a doctor, persuaded her father-in-law, and then actively prepared for pregnancy and became pregnant with a second child.

after learning that my mother-in-law is pregnant with a second child, I feel a blank in my mind. My mother-in-law is 51 years old this year, and giving birth at this time will be laughed at.

However, my mother-in-law is pregnant, and I can't stop it, so I have to wait and see.

My mother-in-law asked me to take care of her after she got pregnant. I didn't approve of her having a second child, let alone taking care of her.

My mother-in-law and my father-in-law took turns to accuse me of being unfilial, but I turned back: "If I take care of my mother-in-law, I have to resign. Your son earns only enough money a month to pay off the mortgage. Will our whole family drink northwest wind? "

in desperation, my father-in-law had to take care of her mother-in-law himself. I know how hard it is for a woman to get pregnant, but I still try my best to help her because she is my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law gave birth to a son as she wished. She was very happy, but it was no use mocking me behind my back. She could only give birth to a daughter, and even a son was not born, which made me feel very uncomfortable.

After brother in law was born, our family soon got into trouble.

My mother-in-law retired before she got pregnant, but her pension was not high. After giving birth to brother in law, her mother-in-law, who used to be strong, became sickly and could no longer go out to work.

my father-in-law has been taking care of her mother-in-law, and her health has been dragged down and she was dismissed by the company.

My father-in-law and mother-in-law have some savings, but if they want to raise a child, those savings can only solve the urgent need.

after my younger brother was born, my husband couldn't chew on the old age, became motivated, and moved to another unit, and his salary went up.

My salary is three times that of my husband. My mother-in-law has a bad idea and wants me to help raise brother in law.

My mother-in-law told me earnestly, "Daughter-in-law, eldest brother is like a father and eldest sister-in-law is like a mother. It is your duty to take care of brother in law. Your father-in-law and I are too old to take care of our son. Anyway, you are taking your daughter, one is taking it, and the other two are taking it. brother in law will be yours. "

I refused without hesitation: "the so-called eldest sister-in-law is like a mother, which means when my parents are not alive!" I didn't give birth to brother in law, so why should I raise him? Whoever is born and raised, don't look for me as a big head. "

My words were like stirring up a hornet's nest. My mother-in-law and father-in-law were flushed with anger and shouted at me, "What are you talking about? You unfilial thing, if you marry into our family, you have to listen to our old couple. You must do whatever I ask you to do. Where did you get the courage to say no? Besides, if you didn't give me grandchildren and let our family die, would I give birth at an advanced age? "

When she mentioned having grandchildren, my anger was also ignited: "You obviously prefer boys to girls, so how dare you accuse me?" Your son is so low-motivated, can I support him if I have a son? Besides, why do you look down on my daughter? What if it's a woman? You're not a woman? Isn't your son born to a woman? "

with a bang, I felt burning pain on my face. I looked at my angry husband and my heart was filled with despair. Mother-in-law is still shouting beside her: "well played, son, keep playing and let her know who is in charge of this family." I have the final say in this family, and you are not qualified to speak as an outsider. "

I rushed back to my room, locked the door, called the police and called my parents.

with the support of my parents, my husband and I divorced, and I have to leave half of the property and custody of my daughter.

In my marriage, my former mother-in-law wanted to kidnap me with the moral of "eldest sister-in-law as mother". She stood on the commanding heights of morality and wanted me to help her raise brother in law, which was obviously unfair.

When a woman is confronted with moral kidnapping, whether it comes from friendship, family or society, she must be able to distinguish right from wrong and bravely sayno..

If I don't refuse my ex-mother-in-law's unreasonable demands, I will have to raise brother in law for them and even take care of him when he grows up and gets married. I didn't give birth to brother in law. I only have the obligation to take care of people who are related to me.

If I compromise this time, my ex-mother-in-law and ex-husband are afraid that they will not be grateful to me. They may think that I am bullying, weak in character, and even push my luck, and make more excessive demands, which will still harm my interests.

In the face of family kidnapping, we should bravely refuse, but also refuse as soon as possible. If you say no to family kidnapping from the beginning, and never compromise with those who make unreasonable demands, and let them know your bottom line, they will have scruples. They find that they can't get any benefits from you, and naturally they won't want to kidnap you again.

Just like the rooms in the TV series "Anjia", if her mother Pan Guiyu asked her for money at the beginning, she would bravely refuse and insist on uncompromising, and there would be no story of asking for 1 million yuan later. Room like brocade compromised again and again, making her a cash cow in her mother's hand, and dragging her father-in-law to death in order to get the benefits she wanted. Although Fang Rujin broke up with family of origin, she also lost her favorite grandfather and paid a heavy price.

in the face of the demands of our loved ones, we should do our best to help. If the request is too unreasonable, say no bravely and don't compromise easily.