A humorous story Lincoln is giving a speech.

1. Once, Lincoln was giving a speech. Suddenly, his assistant handed him a piece of paper with only two words "fool" on it. Lincoln took one look and knew that someone was making trouble. Instead of being angry, he smiled and said to the audience, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have received many notes that I forgot to sign before. But this time I received a' signature' note and nothing else. " On one occasion, Lincoln walked to the city. When a car came from behind him, he raised his hand to stop and said to the driver, "Can you help me take this coat to the city?" "Sure," said the driver, "but how can I return my coat to you?" Lincoln replied, "Oh, it's very simple. I'm going to wrap it in a coat. " Impressed by his humor, the driver smiled and let him get on the bus. President Lincoln is ugly, but he often plays jokes on himself carelessly. When he was running for president, he argued with Douglas, a Democrat, who said he was two-faced. In this regard, Lincoln calmly replied: "Now please comment, if I have another face, do you think I will wear this face?" During the civil war, the head of a temperance committee approached President Lincoln and asked him to dismiss Grant, the ever-victorious general, on the grounds that Grant often drank too much. "What kind of wine is Grant drinking?" Lincoln asked seriously. "Whiskey." The person in charge answered excitedly. "Please listen, in my name, send a bucket of whisky to all the generals, so that we can win the war quickly." Lincoln said. 5. When he was young, Lincoln joined the militia in St. Gamon, Illinois. Lieutenant Colonel is a short man, only a little more than four feet tall, while Lincoln is very tall, far exceeding Lieutenant Colonel. Because Lincoln thinks he is very tall, he is used to walking with his head down and his back bent. The colonel was angry when he saw his hunchback, so he called him in and scolded him. "Listen, Abreu," the colonel shouted, "hold your head up, you bastard!" "Yes, sir." Lincoln replied respectfully. "I have to raise it a little." The colonel said. "Do you want me to be like this forever?" Lincoln asked. "Of course, you guy, do you still need to ask?" The colonel is angry. "I'm sorry, Colonel," Lincoln said sadly. "Then I have to say goodbye to you, because I will never see you again!" Lincoln is the funniest of all American presidents. 1. As early as when I was studying, there was an exam and the teacher asked him, "Would you like to answer a difficult question or two simple questions?" Lincoln confidently replied, "Answer a difficult question." "Then you answer, how did the egg come from?" "Chicken-born." The teacher asked again, "Where did the chicken come from?" "Teacher, this is the second question." Lincoln said with a smile. Lincoln is a lawyer. Once in court, the opposing lawyer repeatedly stated a simple argument for more than two hours, which made the audience impatient. Finally, it was Lincoln's turn to take the stage to defend the defendant. He went to the podium, took off his coat and put it on the table, then picked up the cup and drank two sips of water, then put on his coat, then took off his coat and put it on the table, drank some water and dressed again. This was repeated five or six times, and the audience in the court laughed. Lincoln said nothing and began his defense speech with laughter. Lincoln's face is long and ugly. Once, he argued with Stephen Douglas, who laughed at him as a two-faced man. Lincoln replied, "If I had another face, would I still wear this ugly face?" 4. Once, a lady came to Lincoln and said confidently, "Mr. President, you must give my son a colonel position. We should have this right, because my grandfather took part in the battle of Lexington, my uncle was the only one who didn't escape in Bretton, my father took part in the battle of Na olins, and my husband died in Mantel, so …… "Lincoln replied," Madam, your family has served the country for three generations, and your contribution to the country is really great. I deeply respect this. Now can you give others a chance to serve your country? " The woman had nothing to say, so she had to leave quietly. One day, someone told Lincoln that a tax official had just died and asked him if he could take his place. Lincoln replied, "If the funeral home has no opinion, of course I won't object." 6. Lincoln comes from a family of pioneers. During the campaign, he didn't have a car. At every stop, his friends prepared a carriage for farming. He stood in the carriage and delivered a campaign speech: "Someone wrote to ask me how much property I have. I have a wife and a son, both priceless. In addition, we rented an office with a desk, three chairs and a big bookcase in the corner. The books on the shelf are worth reading. I am poor and thin, with a long face, and I won't gain weight. I really have nothing to rely on. The only thing I rely on is you. " 7. Once, Lincoln was shining his shoes when a foreign diplomat came up to him and said, "Mr. President, did you shine your shoes?" "Yes," Lincoln asked in mock surprise. "Do you shine shoes for others?" 8. Once, Lincoln was giving a speech. Suddenly, his assistant handed him a piece of paper with only two words "fool" on it. Lincoln took one look and knew that someone was making trouble. Instead of being angry, he smiled and said to the audience, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have received many notes that I forgot to sign before. But this time I received a' signature' note and nothing else. " 9. Some friends were talking about long legs or short legs, when Lincoln came in and they asked his opinion. "Well," Lincoln said seriously after thinking for a moment, "I think a person's legs should be long enough to touch the ground." 10. Once, President Lincoln met with the president of a country at the White House. President is very tall, and two people stand together, just like two vertical barrels. Lincoln said cheerfully, "I didn't expect you to be taller than me." How's it going? What's it like to be president? " "What do you say?" The president asked, "I feel like eating gunpowder every day and always want to shoot!" " "1 1. abraham lincoln was an army sergeant before he became president of the United States. The boss of his army is a short colonel who is only 4.3 feet tall, but Lincoln is very tall. During training, Lincoln often bent down to pay attention to the orders given by the colonel. The short colonel didn't like his men hunched over, so he often corrected Lincoln's posture: "Lincoln, hold your head up, hold it up a little!" """yes! Colonel! "Lincoln replied. "Tall man, look up!" The colonel shouted again. Lincoln couldn't help asking, "Have I always kept a high profile?" "Yes, that's right." "Well," Lincoln said with a wry smile, "goodbye, I'll never see you again." 12. When Lincoln defended a farmer who was sued for beating his neighbor, he learned that the plaintiff was a man with strong vanity and he greatly exaggerated the fact that he was beaten. Because the law at that time did not allow the defendant to defend, farmers had to let him exaggerate the facts in court, which was extremely unfavorable to farmers. When the lawyer questioned him, Lincoln pretended to be careless and asked the plaintiff, "How big is the venue where you fought with the defendant?" The plaintiff's exaggerated nature made him say without thinking: "There are six acres." Lincoln smiled and asked, "Your plane is a little too stingy for such a big venue." The judge and jury burst out laughing. They recognized the man's nature and the farmer was acquitted. 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