Funny quotes about losing weight (funny jokes about losing weight)

1. The three most beautiful words in the world are not "I love you", but "You have lost weight".

2. Every time I swear to lose weight, I shout out loudly. If I can’t lose the fat, I can just scare them!

3. The reason for being fat is probably that my small body cannot accommodate my great personality.

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4. I touched the layers of fat on my belly and said to my mother in a complaining tone: "Why did you make me so fat?" My mother glanced at me and said, "You were only 7 pounds when I gave birth to you. It's none of my business to be so fat now..."

5. "Husband, I feel so fat and want to lose weight." "Don't lose weight. Now you have to be ugly and fat as an excuse." 6. I have worked hard, why can't I lose weight? Apart from eating, I spend the remaining 8 hours every day losing weight!

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7. What is the pain that can be touched? Even though I feel like my stomach is full of hunger, there is still a lump of meat when I touch it.

8. Being in the midst of blessings and not knowing the blessings means that some people have gained weight but pretend not to know it.

9. "Cousin, what made you decide to lose weight?" "After you got drunk last time" "Just being drunk can make you decide to lose weight?" "You guys put me on the bed I heard you shouting: 1, 2, 3, let’s go! ”

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10. For such high-level matters as losing weight, we should wait until we are full. Let’s study it more carefully.

11. I originally planned to lose weight and become a lightning bolt this year, blinding your eyes, but unexpectedly, I became fat and became a wall of nuts, blocking your sight.

12. A friend often goes to a beauty shop to lose weight. When I went with her that day, she looked at the newly posted price list and said to the landlady dissatisfied: "I still lost weight last time I came here. How come the price has suddenly increased to 50 yuan per catty from 20 yuan per catty?” The proprietress said, “Pork has already risen to 18 yuan per catty. Can I still make sense if the price does not increase?”

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13. If you can't control your mouth or lose weight this winter, you will have a very special and foreign English name - Feide Yuanbu Midwinter.

14. It’s noon on the day of hoeing. It’s so painful to grow fat. I look in the mirror in the morning and cry all morning. I can’t put on my clothes. I feel very painful. I can’t do it without wearing it. It’s even more painful if I wear it. I think To avoid pain, eating less is the most reliable way!

15. I just eat and drink all day long, and I suddenly gained a lot of weight! Suddenly I met an old man selling a slimming plaster. He said that if the plaster is effective, you will be refunded if it does not work. You can lose 10 pounds in 7 days. After returning home, I realized that I forgot to ask where to stick it. I opened the instruction manual and saw three words: "stick it on the mouth"

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16. How dare I fall? Behind me It's the scale.

17. Don’t look at fat people who are usually afraid of exposing themselves.

18. Your words of "take care" many years ago still make me lose weight.

19. The only reason why I am fat is that my body is too small to accommodate my full personality.

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Twenty, after a tiring day, have a cup of milk tea. Don’t worry, as long as no one sees it, you can treat it as zero calories.

21. Don’t be fat, otherwise no one will believe you are a beggar if you are so poor that you go begging for food.

22. The reason why I make myself so round is so that I will not be looked down upon by others.

23. When the unit organizes a physical examination, it is weighed in front of everyone. After you weigh the results, it is disbanded (the scale is gone).