Health classic funny jokes

Health classic funny jokes

Life is about having funny things. Let me share the health classic funny jokes for you. I hope you are happy.

Life is funny, and I feel hurt

1. I called a buddy in the morning, and he was in a meeting.

I said to him: Call me back when it's convenient for you?

As a result, I waited all day, and when I was going to bed at night, I got a call from him.

I joked: Yo, buddy, you've been busy recently, and now you have time to call back. ?

he said: It's only convenient for me now

2. It is said that one of them is too fat. When buying a ticket, the airline said that you must buy two tickets.

he thought for a moment, and since the two positions are wider together, it's quite cool to sit up.

when he finally got on the plane, the airline did give him two seats, one in row 7 and the other in row 9. . .

3. Shop assistant:? Good news! Good news! New best sellers, buy one and get one free. ?

a customer cursed after buying it: Nima, one is the original book and the other is the corrigendum. ?

4. Go lovers say:? In all sports, the players in Go are the most comfortable, because they can drink water as long as they are thirsty. ?

swimmers: No, swimmers can drink water. ?

Go lovers:? That's bath water. ?

Money-related life jokes

1. Don't mess with me, I'm lucky in a month. 52. There are more than a dozen Chinese voice awards, some of which are money. My landlord travels all over the country and has friends all over the world. In addition, my son is familiar with police officers Li, Zhang and Wang because he often opens a house. Don't mess with me.

2. The child asked the rich man: Why are you so rich, uncle?

the rich man said: when I was a child, my uncle noticed that the mineral water downstairs was cheaper than that sold by the basketball court, so he bought water from downstairs and took it to the stadium to sell, earning ten yuan a month.

the child said: I seem to understand.

the rich man said, I don't know shit! I used this ten dollars to buy lottery tickets and won ten million!

3. The teacher asked the students:? How can you find a job in the future if you study so badly?

　? Teacher, how much do you earn a month?

　? More than 3?

　? Hehehe, two houses in my house charge 6 thousand yuan a month. Tell me about the future?

4. If a poor boy pretends to be rich and falls in love with you, and then you find out. How would you react?

9% of the candidates: break off the relationship resolutely, and honesty is one of the most important qualities.

if a rich man pretends to be poor and falls in love with you, then you find out. How would you react?

9% of the candidates: keep dating. I love his people, not his money.

the anecdote is hilarious, and it kills me!

　1、? Is it 11?

　? No, old man. This is 119?

　? Oh, I want to find the fire alarm?

　? Just call us for the fire alarm, old man. What happened?

　? I don't know where my old man got angry. He is crazy. I can't cure him! ?

　? This? In this case, you'd better change to 11.

　? He set the quilt on fire?

2. I bought a breast fat booster online in 2 yuan, and received it yesterday. It turned out that Nima is a magnifying glass! The shameless seller also hypocritically put a warning label on it: it can't be used in the hot sun.

3. A rich second generation parked the luxury car at the door of the street grocery store, bought a drink from the store and got on the bus. Suddenly, an old lady fell down in front of the car, and the rich second generation came forward and asked the old lady: Grandma, what's wrong with you?

the old lady said? I feel uncomfortable. Your car knocked me down. I won't get up until I pay ten thousand dollars and eight thousand dollars! ? .

the rich second generation said that the old lady just couldn't get up.

I can't help it. He took out his phone and called his father? Dad, you put 5 thousand yuan into my bank card, and I want to run over an old lady with my car.

As she spoke, the old lady got up and left, cursing as she walked. MD is really cruel, too TM!

4. an Australian company recently launched 22K gold toilet paper, which can be used by local tyrants to practice? Treat money like dirt? Use wealth as toilet paper and wash it away.

if this is not perfect, local tyrants can also buy one online? Golden pill? After taking it, the excrement will become? Shining like gold? .

-local tyrants, your money has a place to use;