Ten jokes: The boss took a few of us to eat shabu-shabu, so we took advantage today.

Dad, our school has formed a band. I want to join. The school also said that I have to bring my own instruments. The father stared at his son for a long time, then handed him a chopstick: "Son, our family is poor, can you try to be a conductor?" ”

An NN in the company had a sore throat, so I gave her a bottle of medicine to treat her throat. After she recovered, she asked me: “The medicine you gave me last time was very effective, and she took it immediately.” I said, "Of course it works, it's very precious. Her: "Is it that expensive?" How much is it? I teased her and said, "Of course, I'm afraid that if I tell you, you'll have to marry me." She screamed: "No!" How many hundred? ”

3. My girlfriend lives on the first floor and usually hangs clothes outside the house. Half a month ago, she lost a few pieces of clothes every few days, which made her nervous. She always felt like a pervert was watching her when she went out. She... Yesterday she did a general cleaning and found all the lost items in her cat's nest.

4. I went to the bank to deposit money and queued up to get a number. The security guard came up and asked me what business I was doing. I said: Deposit. Money. The security guard looked at me and said: Go to the ATM, it’s faster. Me: I don’t know how to use it. Security guard: Let me teach you. When it’s time to put money in, the security guard will teach me. Taking out a handful of coins, I saw the security guard's face was rosy and slightly purple

5. My sister-in-law nudged my daughter-in-law to buy this and that all day long. They were not of the same body shape at all, and some of the clothes My sister-in-law looked good in her clothes, but my daughter-in-law looked a little miserable in them. So I asked my sister-in-law to argue, and she scolded me: "Brother-in-law, there is no comparison, how can you see that your decision was wrong. . . ”

6. Halfway through my haircut today, a child came in and said to the barber: “Dad, give me 10 yuan.” The barber stopped, took out his pocket and said: I need it every day. Money, money is needed every day, how much can one earn from a J13 haircut?

7. A girl I had a crush on in high school got married - this was the background of a class reunion a few days ago. That girl, unfortunately, was already pregnant. She was too embarrassed to say anything, so she stepped forward and stared at her belly and said, "That's great. I'm going to be an uncle in two days." "The girl stared at me and said resentfully: "If you had been a few days earlier, you would have been a father now! "I:"? ”,

8. When I was a child, I was disobedient and was beaten by my mother. But after the beating, my mother felt distressed and said to me: You silly boy, you won’t run away after I hit you. I’m angry. If I hit you, I won’t hit you again when my anger subsides. Next time, remember to run away if you make me angry. Then, I won’t hit you after my anger subsides. Then one time, I made my mother angry. I ran away and squatted in a corner. When I was hungry, I walked home slowly, and then I received another beating without any suspense. The reason was: I can hide past the first day of junior high school, and I can hide past the fifteenth day of junior high school. From that time on, I no longer believed what women said...

9. Last night, the boss took us to eat shabu-shabu, where the clear soup pot was 38 yuan and the spicy pot was 88 yuan. We asked for a clear soup pot, but after eating for a while, several people felt their mouths were numb! "Later, the boss was so numb that he fainted and it took him a long time to recover. The other people couldn't bear the numbness anymore, so they asked the waiter if they had served the wrong food? It was too numb to eat. The waiter checked and said, "I'm really sorry. This pot leaks electricity..."

10. I was dragged on a blind date by my mother, and I was stunned as soon as I entered the restaurant! This is my first love when I was in the first grade of junior high school, okay! Then I pretended not to know each other. Her father praised me Me: This guy is good! He looks like a good boy at first sight! I want to say: Uncle, you don’t recognize me anymore! Do you believe that you were the only one who dared to hook up with my daughter when you chased me on the playground? I broke your dog legs! It’s okay now! In the end, you just sent it to me!