Funny jokes and short sentences

Funny paragraphs and short sentences (selected 40 sentences) 1. It is said that online shopping saves money. Actually, shopping is more economical. After all, you can't afford this and that. 2. The math teacher built a coordinate system on the blackboard, turned his head and asked us loudly: Why did I build it like this? Does anyone know why I built it this way? ? 3. Love in junior high school died of changing seats, high school died of placement, and college died of graduation, but I am not. Up to now, I have no face to fall in love and die of looks. 4. Some people are alive and you want them to die. Some people are dead, and you still feel cheap. I asked the swallow why you came, and the swallow said, here the mountain road is eighteen bends, and here the waterway is nine rings. 6. I can't afford to get hurt. I really can't afford to get hurt. I'm carrying three apprentices on my back in Tang Sanzang, and I have a conscience. If your conscience dog takes it, it's only a few Wan Li! 7. What is wrong with being fat? Have you eaten your sweet and sour pork ribs, braised beef, vinegar, cabbage, Mapo tofu and boiled fish? 8. I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late online. The biggest change for me is that I have changed from a happy staying up late to a fearful staying up late. 9. I really don't understand you people. Don't you have any crystals at home? Why did you hit my crystal? It's ridiculous. 10. When you like a person, your brain will automatically add a filter to whiten and exfoliate. When you don't like it, it will be replaced with the original picture every second. 1 1. It's really dangerous for girls to try not to go out alone at night. No one can discourage them from going into a restaurant casually, and they will gain several pounds. 12. Go home with a mobile phone with only 1% power, trot for the key, rudely open the door and rummage for the charger, just like a desperate parent. Doctor, help my child! ? 13. Women! Standing in front of clothes is like an emperor, thinking every day, who should be biased today? I looked, alas, it's time for me to be embarrassed again. Not all girls like money! There are also some kind girls who like small animals. Such as Land Rover; BMW; Jaguar; Hummer; Bugatti Veyron; And tmall. 15. What does a big face matter? As long as you have a beautiful face. It's beautiful when you're older. Being too beautiful is also a crime. It is said that people with big faces are generally super good-tempered, because it is really difficult for people with big faces to turn their faces, fearing that they will not magnify the waste. 16. I always believe that my best friend will become very rich and then support me. Turns out that idiot thought so, too. 17. Every time you are mean to me, I think there is something wrong with you. How can you lose your temper with such a lovely me, speechless! 18. There is nothing wrong with acne, it is your lovely bubble. 19. If a person suddenly calls your full name when chatting with you, please believe me, the next step is either to confess or to hit you. 20. When quarreling with your boyfriend, don't rush to blame him, first reflect on yourself, and if it is really your own fault, then think about how to pass it on to him. 2 1. Stay with me, at least I love you more than others. 22. When someone says they hate me, I immediately smile, which makes you unhappy and makes me feel very happy. 23. Others hold hands and I hold my dog. Take a walk, swim and see who bites badly! When I am old, I can't move. Now my understanding of fashion is: keep warm. 25. It is said that women are made of water, so they should be gentle and not lose their temper. In fact, I am also made of water, just Sprite, dripping with breath and holding it. 26. The so-called holiday, the family is suspected, there is no money to go out, and every day is particularly idle. 27. Girls are fresh in front of relatives, quiet in front of outsiders, neurotic in front of acquaintances, and female hooligans in front of girlfriends. 28. The definition of the so-called warm man, he only warms you. Being cold to others warms men and a bunch of people. It's called central air conditioning. 29. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough. 30. I chose the zoo for my first party after graduation. The reason is that only here can I feel that I still have a personal appearance! 3 1. The furthest distance in the world is not life and death, nor love and ignorance, but when we are sitting together, you are playing with your mobile phone. 32. I decided to straighten my earphone and put it aside, then hide it and secretly see how it wraps itself up. 33. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before your death. 34. Some people dare to laugh at my cowardice in front of me and have too much courage. 35. Eating together is called spelling rice, and going home together is called carpooling. You give me the rest of your life and live together. It's called despair. 36.？ Your fans actually have 1.2 million, which is amazing! ? That's great. What? 1 10,000 are all bought. ? Isn't there another 200 thousand? ? Buy 1 10,000 and send 200,000! ? 37. I signed up for the world lying contest, and as soon as I got on stage, the host said, Wow, you are so beautiful! ? I replied shyly:? Not beautiful, just plain! ? As soon as the voice just fell, the organizer sent me the championship trophy! 38. People who smoke have worries, people who drink have stories, and people who smoke and drink have a perm! 39. Going to school means watching different flavors of sleeping pills walk around in front of your eyes every day. There is always one that can make you sleep soundly! 40. People who love to laugh are not too unlucky, because those who are too unlucky can't laugh at all.