Homophonic jokes hurt the stomach

The following are some cold jokes I have compiled. I hope you are happy.

Ride a donkey across the river

There is a curtain alley in Beizhili, where all singers live. They are all from Shaoxing. Later, people in northern Zhili also learned to sing ditty, all in Shaoxing dialect with Shaoxing accent.

Someone knew that A was a native of Beizhili, and once deliberately asked him: Where is he from? A: Shaoxing. Ask him again: How did you cross the Yangtze River? Answer: cross the river by donkey.

Fancy you.

A quack got married and gave birth to a boy and a girl. One day, the quack killed his son and gave him back to others. Soon after, he killed his daughter and lost her. Life is bleak with only my wife at home.

One day, someone suddenly knocked at the door and asked him to see a doctor. Quack asked: Who is sick? Answer: It's my wife. The doctor cried to his wife and said, well, someone has taken a fancy to you again.

kitchen god

There was an official named Chen Mengxian, who was always stingy, so his colleagues made up a joke to laugh at him. The joke said: On the 24th of the twelfth lunar month, all kitchen gods in the world went to heaven to worship the Jade Emperor. All kitchen gods are dressed in black, but only one kitchen god is dressed in white. The jade emperor was very strange, so he asked him what was going on.

The kitchen god said:? I am the kitchen god of Chen Mengxian's family. Everyone else's kitchen gods have been hacked, but Chen Mengxian never entertains a guest except for three meals all year round. How can my clothes turn black when I cook so little?

Shen Ming Pavilion

Two country people came to the county seat and saw Shen Mingting's inscription. One said, "What is this?" ? By who? Words. The other said, is this it? Answer? Words. A person next to him interjected: if you have one more head, he will have one more foot. Like a? Tian? Words.

Complain for grandpa

The father and son were chopping wood together, and the father accidentally cut his son's finger with an axe. Son scolds: old turtle, are you blind?

The grandson was very sad to hear that his grandfather was scolded by him. He said, did my father scold him for shooting at the thief's mother?

Old yearbook

On New Year's Eve, someone sent an emissary to a house to send a New Year's gift, and a host took out an old calendar to make it. The servant at home said, I'm afraid it's useless. The host said it was useless for me to stay at home.

Cut the thigh

A man's father was ill and invited a doctor. The doctor said: the disease is hopeless. Unless you feel it with filial piety, you can expect to recover after cutting your thigh.

The son said, it is not difficult. I picked up the knife and went out. I met a man lying at the door. On the way up, he cut his thigh with a knife. The man who was lying started up, and the son held someone else's hand and said, stop shouting, cut off your thigh and save your loved ones. This is a beautiful thing in the world.

Shu ling

A mountain man came to a water town and sat under a tree. When he saw a water chestnut on the ground, he picked it up and ate it. He thought it was delicious.

He thought it was a tree knot, so he shook the trees one by one for a long time and didn't see a water chestnut. He said in surprise, is there only one such a big tree?

Johns and prostitutes

There was a prostitute who had a close relationship with her, agreed to die together and prepared two cups of Dove. Prostitutes let prostitutes drink first, and then urge prostitutes to drink after drinking. Prostitute said: I'm small, so I'll skip this one.

Another John and a prostitute agreed to die together, and they also agreed to hang themselves on the wall. The prostitute replaced herself with a stone on this side of the wall; The client found something wrong on the other side of the wall, replaced himself with a stone, climbed over the wall to see what was going on, and met a prostitute in the shade of the wall. The prostitute smiled and said, you and I have long been soul mates, but I didn't expect to remember it today.

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