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My friend likes to listen to cold jokes. Have more, and I'll put QQ space.

1. In order to encourage children to study, Dad said to them, "If you can get rid of the last position, I will buy you a mobile phone." Once, the child excitedly ran to his father and said that he was the penultimate in the exam. Dad was very happy to hear this. When he took the test paper, he found that the reason was that the classmate who was the penultimate in the previous exam missed two subjects this time.

2. Teachers and classmates play small games together, that is, in pairs. One of each group covers the other classmate's eyes with gauze, then feeds him food, and finally guesses what the food is. A classmate gave the other person a sip of the milk of the silver heron peanut, and then asked the other person to guess what he was drinking. The classmate couldn't guess for a moment, so he replied, "I forgot." One of my classmates suddenly said loudly, "Teacher, I know he is drinking Meng Po Tang."

3. A classmate sitting in the front row often doesn't wash his face, which makes the teacher very disgusted. One day, the teacher asked the classmate a question in front of the whole class: "If you were a teacher, the classmate sitting in the front often didn't wash his face, what would you do?" The classmate generously replied, "I will never allow such a classmate to appear in my class." The teacher said with some satisfaction, "I didn't expect you to understand the teacher." But after that, the classmate didn't come to class for several days!

4. The doctor in the medical center is going to give vaccination to all the students in the class, but no one wants to be the first one. The teacher then tried to say to everyone, "I will reward the first one of you with five lollipops." So A Xing went first. Unexpectedly, he pulled the doctor aside and quietly said to the doctor, "You mustn't really fight. Just do me a favor, just make a casual appearance and cheat the teacher and classmates. As long as you do as I say, I will give you three lollipops later."

5. Dad killed the only rooster and hen in the family and cooked their meat together. In order to make it more delicious, Dad added some sausages to the meat. After the meat was served on the table, my mother jokingly asked, "What should I name this dish?" The child thought for a moment and said, "Just call it beating Yuanyang."

6. A young female teacher dressed herself beautifully in a white dress. The teacher was telling the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs with relish. I saw the students looking sleepy and listless. The teacher was very angry. In order to attract the attention of the students, the teacher said, "Snow White is a symbol of love and purity. As long as you find it with your heart, Snow White is actually around us." The teacher thought that all the students would turn their eyes to themselves, but I didn't expect all the students to look out of the window.

7. Teachers often educate children to have a good habit of respecting the old and caring for the young, and fathers often educate their children about the benefits. They think of their grandparents first, and then their parents. One day, several old people came to A Xing's house, and his father asked him to take out some bananas and give one to each old man. When he gave one to the oldest old man, he didn't know what to do, because the other old people all looked about the same age. He thought for a moment and said, "The second oldest person raised his hand." In this way, he finally gave the pitifully small banana to the youngest old man.

8. Teachers often educate children to form a good habit of finding money. For those children who find money, teachers also give them some rewards. Therefore, students actively give things to their teachers, forming a good style in the class. One day, a classmate saw five yuan and wanted to give it to the teacher, but because he was greedy, he bought a cotton candy with five yuan. He just wanted to eat it, and he began to feel guilty again. Finally, he decided to be an honest boy. So he excitedly ran to the teacher's office and said to the teacher, "Teacher, I found a marshmallow today."

9. A Xing and Gillian live in the same village, which can be described as childhood friends. They often play hide-and-seek games together. One day, Gillian just hid herself and called A Xing to look for her. Gillian suddenly thought that her favorite Pleasant Goat and Big Big Big Wolf would be broadcast soon, so she ran home to watch TV. As a result, A Xing couldn't find her for an afternoon, so she went back to her home and dialed Gillian's phone to ask where Gillian was. Gillian answered the phone and said with a bad smile, "Haha, I've been hiding in front of the TV all day today."

1. A child is most afraid of injections and hanging needles. One day, his mother took him to the hospital to see a doctor. Although he was seriously ill, he refused to take an injection anyway. For the sake of his health, the doctor forced him to fight. He had no choice but to threaten the doctor like this: "If you dare to fight, I will die for you today." The doctor was also very helpless, so he relieved, "How about I hang a needle for you?" The little boy replied, "Then I'll show it to you today."