Classic Jokes for Girls _ Jokes Suitable for Coaxing Girls

Girls like to listen to jokes. I wonder what kind of jokes boys usually tell to make girls happy? The following are the classic jokes I compiled for girls. I hope you like jokes that are suitable for girls.

Classic jokes, girls' jokes and humor

1. I passed an intersection that day and had a desire to fart. A man just got on a motorcycle, so I wanted to take this opportunity to hide my fart. I don't know. It's too noisy. The motorcyclist thought that the engine had started and was ready to leave in gear. I was embarrassed that time.

The manager is talking to a beautiful girl: "Sorry, we are not allowed to swim here?" "Then why didn't you tell me before I undressed?" "We didn't ban undressing."

3. Xiaomei wrote down her wishes when she grew up in her composition book: first, I hope to have a lovely child; Second, I also hope to have a husband who loves me. It turns out that the teacher wrote a comment: "Please pay attention to the order."

Who do you think is the most influential physicist? I wrote Newton. As a result, I was the only one in the class who failed. So everyone wrote the name of the tutor? Kao, what world is it? !

The butterfly said to the bee, "You are so stingy. You pretend to be full of sweet words, but you won't give me a word. " The bee said, "Hum! Still talking about me, you have two long antennas on your head, why don't you send me a text message? "

6. A parrot was taught to speak: "I can walk." Parrot: "I can walk." A: "I can talk." Parrot: "I can talk." A: "I can fly." Parrot: "Don't be ridiculous."

7. In the middle of the night, George W. Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was frightened and said, "How dare you break into the White House at night!" Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard, smiled darkly and said, "It's so confident to be soft!" " "

8. The parturient is about to give birth, and relatives and friends are anxiously waiting outside the delivery room. The nurse finally carried the baby out and everyone swarmed. "Is it a boy or a girl?" Fathers are most concerned about this problem. He couldn't wait to reach into his swaddling clothes and grope for it, then shouted happily, "It's a boy! It's a boy! " "What boy?" The nurse scolded angrily, "Let go of my finger!"

9. Teacher: "Xiao Xin, your problem is the improper use of words. Now I will test you and use an idiom to describe the teacher's happiness. " Xiao Xin: "Laugh at Jiuquan."

10. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and still so poor."

1 1. In a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and there stood a farmer in Tanaka, his clothes were torn and his face was dark. With tears in his eyes, he said, "Just stole a few cabbages. Is it worth shelling?"

12. A hen laid a huge egg and a reporter came to interview. The hen was shy and silent, so she had to interview the rooster. The cock rolled up his sleeves. I won't comment on this matter at present, until I catch the ostrich!

13. A person swallowed an artificial eye by mistake and finally got stuck in the anus and couldn't get out. He went to the hospital. The doctor saw it and fainted on the spot. After waking up, he said, I have looked at my ass all my life, but I didn't expect to be looked at by it at last.

14. Henan Wa asked Henan Ma: "How to make sentences?" Henan mother: "A, this B child is from C family? Standing barefoot on D, EF does not wear, GG is still exposed! " Haha?

15. When a person always farts in the office, his colleagues can't help but say, "Can you keep quiet?" Then I saw him sitting there rocking. Colleagues asked, "What for?" Answer: "I set it to vibrate."

16. I heard from a friend that when he was in college, a boy with low emotional intelligence finally met a girl he liked, and they just started dating. Once a girl was ill, and a boy accompanied her to the infirmary for intravenous drip. Ten minutes passed, twenty minutes passed, and nothing happened. Thinking of breaking the silence, the boy asked, "Is it cold?" "cold" and "cold, I'll cover you?" The girl blushed and whispered "OK". The boy got up? Cover the drip bottle with your hand.

17. When I was a child, I always bullied my sister because of my age. One night, my father came to tuck us in and suddenly found my three-year-old sister sitting in the dark watching me sleep! "Why don't you sleep?" Dad asked. My sister quickly said, "Shh! Keep your voice down and hit her when she falls asleep! "

18. I have a classmate who is a disciple and feels a little possessed. School should do morning exercises in the morning, and he thinks that teachers must also get up early to do exercises, otherwise it is unfair. So I went directly to consult with the principal. The headmaster paused and said, "Where are you from?" My classmate said affectionately, "I was sent by God to save you." Principal:?

19. This person is hard of hearing as soon as he gets old. I remember when I was a child at my grandmother's house, one morning my grandfather was going fishing and met the old man next door as soon as he went out. The old man said to my grandfather, "Go fishing!" My grandfather said, "No! I'm going fishing. " Then the old man said, "Oh, I thought you were going fishing?" I was stunned.

20. Take my wife for a checkup in the morning. After blood drawing: Nurse: "Come and get the checklist on the 32nd." Wife: "1 month 32 or February 30." Me (weak): "February 1st" Nurse (Khan): "Yes! Yes! Yes! "

The latest classic jokes of girls

1. I flew a few days ago and found a beautiful woman sitting next to me after boarding the plane. According to the principle of chatting up, I blurted out, "Where did you get off?"

I cooked porridge with an electric cooker in the dormitory last night. Suddenly my roommate rushed into the dormitory and said, "No, the hospital leader led a team to check the illegal electrical appliances in the dormitory." It's next door. What should I do with the cooker? " In desperation, I hid the pot directly under the bed. When the teacher came, he said, "Well, I can still trust Xiao Lei, so I won't look at your locker." I was secretly glad, but the teacher went on to say, "See if you use an electric blanket." As a result, I was recorded

The cat jumped on someone and found a new girlfriend. She wanted to visit his girlfriend's house, but her girlfriend knew that she often swore, so she repeatedly warned me not to talk nonsense, and someone readily agreed. After the meeting, someone responded freely without saying anything, and his girlfriend's parents were very satisfied. After dinner, in the cold winter, my girlfriend's parents insisted on sending each other to the side of the road. Some people are very touched and their brains are hot. He blurted out, "Uncle, don't see me off. Go back quickly. Look at that!"

Today, my boss asked me to delete all the CS in Internet cafes. I was busy all night. Why do you want to delete CS? Actually, the cause is this. The public security bureau made a temporary inspection today. I got wind of it before. For several days in a row, I became a street sweeper, driving all creatures under the age of 18 out of the Internet cafe. So when the police uncles came from afar, my boss and I were not nervous. However, it is a pity. When the police uncles just stepped into the door of the Internet cafe, a group of people playing CS in the Internet cafe shouted excitedly: "The police are coming! The police are coming! The police are in the dog hole! Brothers, let's go! Kill them! " Well, I admit, at that moment, not only the police uncle's face was green, but my boss and I were horribly green.

She has a mobile phone and a PHS. One day, she changed a new mobile phone card. A colleague asked her what her new number was. She said she forgot, so she dialed her PHS with her changed mobile phone. While dialing, I continued to chat with my colleagues. After PHS rang, she picked it up and asked, "Hey, talk, I'll hang up if you don't talk!" " All the colleagues present were stunned. Then she hung up and said, "psycho, don't talk on the phone."

6. A brother went to the toilet and ended up in the ladies' room by mistake. When I went in, I found that there was no urinal, and it felt wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the toilet. He walked out casually. When I was opening the door, I met a MM coming in. MM faced him face to face, blushed, lowered his head, and turned to drill in the men's room? -

The hunter saw a bird in the sky and missed three shots, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird didn't hit the neutron bomb and patted its chest and said, "Scared to death, scared to death!" " -

8. I passed the cemetery one night and thought it was a ghost fire when I saw the fire. Then he threw a brick and the fire moved to another grave. The man still threw another brick, and he heard, "Shit! You can't even shit. You will get two bricks when you smoke. " -

9. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms, gave a hug and stepped forward. The man fell to the ground and cried, "it's the third piece." Who did I piss off? Is it so difficult to take a piece of glass home? " -

10. A novice went to collect usury. He took out the IOU and smiled and said, "It's written clearly in black and white. You owe me1000000! Do you want to default? " People really don't have that much money, and he threatened: "Hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't afford it tomorrow, your house will be just like it. " He took out a lighter and burned the loan? -

1 1. I once liked a girl, but she didn't like me. She said that the man she likes is the kind that no one dares to get close to when driving on the road. She thinks such a man is domineering. Last month. She is married. As she wished, her husband drove the sprinkler.

12. After handing out the test paper, the teacher said seriously, "In this exam, another student made a mistake on the wrong question. Can you take a few minutes to ask yourself? Why? I want an answer later. " A few minutes later, the teacher called a classmate and asked, "What's your answer?" The classmate said innocently, "Teacher, I asked many times, but no one answered."

13. The youngest son bravely fought with others. Once, the son asked his father, did you like fighting when you were a child? Dad said, "I dare not." The son said, "Why?" Dad said, "I can't beat others." The son said, "Then why didn't you call me!" " "

14. The minimum standard for a college student: peasant woman, mountain spring and a little field.

15. I said you were a pig, but you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

16. Judge: "Why do you print counterfeit money?" The defendant said innocently, "Because I can't print real money."

17. Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

18. Do you know what you are in my heart? The goddess suddenly sent this sentence. I immediately asked, "What is it?" "Half of them are male gods." I was flattered, and then she said, "Half of it is menstrual disease."

19. A couple just got married. The husband was sent abroad by the company. A year later, the husband went home. After taking a bath that night, the couple fell asleep with snoring. Someone knocked at the door at midnight. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed, "No! Your husband is back! " The wife murmured, "Impossible, he is out of town."

20. The girl is sitting on a stool. When she got up, a person saw the girl's skirt stuffed in her ass and reached out and pulled it out. The girl was furious and slapped the man. The man said indignantly, "Count me in." Then reach out and shove the skirt back up the girl's ass.

Classic jokes and girl jokes.

1. A girl pretended to be innocent and asked, "Where did you say the baby was born?" Another girl disdained: "Shit, it's not easy. You can come out from wherever you go in! "

2. In high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys wouldn't listen, so she cursed, "What are you thinking?" I was at a loss and said inexplicably, "I miss you!" " "There was a long silence in the classroom, but a pair of frightened eyes were looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and cursed: "you smelly rascal!" " "Illegal!

A thief sneaked into a heavily guarded place in the middle of the night. After opening the vault with great difficulty, he found it was full of jelly. The tired and hungry thief ate all the jelly in a rage and left. The headline of the local newspaper the next day was: "Shocked! Sperm bank was stolen crazily.

The furthest distance in the world is: we go out together, you buy four generations of apples, and I buy four bags of apples.

5. A man happened to meet Xifeng, hesitated for a long time and asked in a low voice, "Can I take a photo with you?" Xifeng shouted, "No, I won't sleep with you!" All eyes were on the two men, and the man replied awkwardly. After a while, Xifeng came over and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm studying psychology recently, just to test people's reactions in embarrassing situations." The man shouted, "Thirty dollars? Too expensive! "

6. Two friends haven't seen each other for a long time, and they have dinner together for jiaozi. A San suddenly asked Han Di, "Do you know what gender jiaozi is?" Emperor Han looked puzzled: "After eating jiaozi for so many years, is jiaozi still divided into men and women?" Ah San laughed and said, "What a fool! It's a man. Jiaozi has a foreskin. "

7. I once rented A Jin Tianyi in Manba, and when I saw the second page, I burst into tears. I don't know what the hell drew a circle on a character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote: Is this the murderer?

8. I suddenly found an interesting rule: whether we watch romantic dramas or youth idol dramas, in the end, the hero and heroine get married, and TV or movies will be over. What does this mean? This profound explanation: as long as a man and a woman get married, there is no future!

9. The mother-in-law tested three sons-in-law. First, I invited my eldest son-in-law to take a walk. When I crossed the bridge, I suddenly jumped down. My eldest son-in-law was rescued by diving, and my mother-in-law gave him a Guangben car. The mother-in-law did the same, testing the second son-in-law and being rescued. The injured second son-in-law gave an Audi. She tried her third son-in-law, but she couldn't swim and couldn't save her. Her mother-in-law drowned. The next day, my father-in-law gave him a Mercedes!

10. A: "Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will you forgive him?" B: "It is God's business to forgive him. My task is to send her to God? "

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