The classic jokes of the Three Kingdoms are shocking.

Classic joke: Jiang Gan was arrested (modern)

During the Three Kingdoms period, hackers were rampant, and a fierce cyber war was quietly starting. ?

It is said that Zhou Yu defeated Cao Jun in Sanjiangkou and returned to the barracks after the victory. He sent an email to Wu Hou and rewarded the soldiers of the three armed forces, each of whom sent an OICQ account. Nye said: "You need to be familiar with its usage as soon as possible. It is very useful in the battle between the two armies." Shi served as the technical director and added a class after training every day. At the same time, open up policies to encourage the construction of Internet cafes. In a few days, the soldiers and civilians in Soochow became net worms. Soon, hackers gathered in Wu Dong, and Gan Ning, Han Dang and Jiang Qin all had personal websites. ?

One day, Zhou Yu surfed the Internet. After a crazy search, I found the website of Cao Jun Shuizhai. After reading it, Zhou Yu was shocked and said, "This deep net is wonderful!" Q: "Who is the stationmaster of this station?" It's about Cai Mao and Zhang Yun. Yu Si said, "These two people have lived in Internet cafes for a long time and are good at cyber warfare. I will design to get rid of them first. " At this time, Gan Ning just arrived, and Zhou Yu informed Gan Ning about it. Gan Ning smiled and said, "Commander, don't panic. Give him some color first. " After that, I casually installed hacking software, and soon changed the homepage of Cao Jun Shuizhai, which was not very satisfactory. Zhou Yu was overjoyed, so he took a group of hackers aboard and went to Caoshui Village to watch the fun. Just as he was peeking at the room, an intelligence soldier flew to Cao Cao and said, "Zhou Yu is peeking at Wu Zhai." By the time they got out of Cao Zhai by boat, Zhou Yu and others were dozens of miles away and could not catch up.

Cao Cao asked the generals, "I lost for a while the other day, and I was discouraged." Now he hacked the website, but I can't catch up with him. What is the reason? " Cai Maohe replied: "Our army is mainly composed of young people and Xu. We play more video games, but we don't surf the Internet. We don't care about cyber warfare. In addition, Wu Dong soldiers are wearing an OICQ, which is several times more than our beacon tower, so they can't catch up. " Cao opened his eyes wide and said, "What is this sacred object? Why not use it? " A: "This is a network paging, which is used to report military intelligence. I immediately used it in the military. " Cao Cao asked his generals, "How to break Wu Dong?" Before he finished, he suddenly heard a person under the account say, "Someone followed Zhou Lang to surf the Internet since childhood and practiced hacking skills. He is willing to go to Jiangdong to persuade Zhou Yu to surrender. " However, Cao Daxi turned a blind eye. This man, surnamed Jiang, is a branch wing, and now he is an intelligence consultant under the account. He usually carries a treasure with him, named: built-in 56K laptop? Modern Cao Cao was very excited and said, "Ziyi relieved my worries!" Not long ago, Ziyi proposed to manage Cao Jun through the Internet, saying that this would strengthen Cao Jun's propaganda and improve his combat level. However, I didn't care, and now I deeply regret it, otherwise I can't catch up with Zhou Yu. Currently, Ziyi is the president of Cao Jun Network Information Center. Everything is cheap, don't ask me. I don't understand. " Jiang Gan saw that Cao Cao attached so much importance to himself that his blood boiled. He said: "I trust him so much that I should risk my life for Cao Jun. In fact, I have registered the Chinese domain name of" Cao Caowei "for the minister, and I dare to upload the webpage only when the minister gives the order. On this trip to Jiangdong, I will definitely say that Zhou Yu is back. I hope I can rest assured. " Jiang Gan hence line. ?

After a while, Zhou Yu's OICQ kept beating, but the spy reported, "Jiang Gan is here." Zhou Yu then whispered to the generals, and so on, and the generals left as ordered. When Jiang Gan arrived in Wudong, Zhou Yu greeted him and said, "Will Ziyi be a lobbyist?" Gan was taken aback and said, "Please forgive me for treating my old friend like this!" I smiled and took his arm and said, "When I was young, we played together and played online games together. Today, we have a chance to talk about this old relationship. Ziyi will leave with me soon. " So I hired a hacker from Jiangdong to meet Ziyi. ?

After a while, they went to the account together and saw several PCs on the case. Yu said to the hackers in Dongwu: "I was childhood friends with them and had a deep friendship. Although we came here from Jiangdong, we are not lobbyists. Let's not doubt it. " Will was stunned and didn't dare to say more. Zhou Yu said: "I played a game recently and it was very enjoyable. It's called the Age of Empires. I want to share it with you online. What do you think? " Both sides said, "Yes!" Accompanied by Jiang Gan, Yingjie entered Battle.net one after another and began to develop. In a short time, Zhou Yu took the lead in upgrading to the feudal era, and the rest of Wu Dongying followed suit, while Jiang Gan was still wandering in the dark ages. Zhou Yu saw that Jiang Gan had not been promoted for a long time and said with a smile, "Do I have enough food and grass?" Gan said, "All soldiers are well-fed and well-deserved!" Yu Yue said, "How about sending ten thousand pieces of grain and grass?" He was flushed, with 500 hay, and rose to the feudal era. Unexpectedly, Zhou Yu has entered the era of castles and sent tens of thousands of war elephants. In an instant, Jiang Gan's territory disappeared without a trace, and Jiang Gan was speechless. Zhou Yu smiled back and said, "Zhou Yu and Ziyi share the same room. I didn't expect this!" " Jiang Gan was speechless and worried at the thought that the task was difficult to complete. ?

Late at night, Yu said, "Ziyi will sleep with me today." So I took it to my account and went to bed. When the army was playing the second watch, Jiang Gan looked up and saw Zhou Yu snorting like thunder. When I saw a computer on the desk, I got up and turned it on. Soon, I found a security loophole and sneaked into Zhou Yu's mailbox. The theme of a letter is "Zhang Yunjin sealed in Cai Yong". Make a scene, secretly watch. The letter said briefly: Some of you surrendered to Cao Cao, not for the sake of career, but because of the situation. Today, the northern army has been trapped in the village, but it is convenient to offer cao thief's head to Mi.

Gansi said, "So Cai Mao and Zhang Yun are related to Wu Dong! ..... "So I e-mailed this letter and Cai Hezhang's digital signature to Cao Cao. ?

Classic joke: Battle of Red Cliffs.

Battle of Red Cliffs started, and the prologue of the ancient war was the generals of the two armies.

Zhuge Liang around Liu Bei greeted Jiang Gan of Cao Jun: "Fuck (Jiang Gan), how is your mother?" Jiang Gan heard Zhuge Liang scolding him, but he couldn't find a loophole, so he had to say, "Good!" Then go back to the array.

As soon as soldiers in Cao Jun were insulted by others, their morale dropped by 80% on the spot. When it was Cao Cao's turn to go out, Zhuge Liang said to Cao Cao, "Fuck (Cao Cao), how is your family?" Hearing this, Cao Cao was embarrassed, touched his nose and retreated to the array with a red face.

At this time, the soldiers in Cao Jun were unwilling to fight, which laid the groundwork for defeating Chibi!

Classic joke: An interesting idiom —— Kong Rong Jean Pear

Kong Rong, whose life story is unknown, is most famous for what he did when he was wearing open-backed pants. Kong Rong grew up smart, greedy, delicious pears, good at pear flavor for a long time, and made amazing research on pears of all colors. Better at distinguishing whether the quality of pears is fresh or not. One day, his mother brought back some pears of different sizes from the market. Kong Rong's brothers and sisters scrambled to eat, only to see Kong Rong weigh up these pears, take the smallest one from them, and generously give other big pears to his brothers and sisters. The neighbors greatly appreciated this and said, "Good boy, you are polite." ? Don't you know that his brother and sister's pears have moths after only a few bites, and most of them have gone bad and can't be eaten? Only Rongrong enjoys its pears and praises its delicacy. What an honor! Therefore, the idiom "Kong Rong Li Rang" came into being.

Classic joke: Three Kingdoms joke

Changbanpo-?

Cao Hong: "Look, Prime Minister! That enemy general is back! " ?

Xia Houdun: "Today is the seventh time. Isn't he tired?" ?

Cao Cao: "Damn it, you have to kill all my people before you stop!" " ! ? " ?