Joke: It is best to be concise, humorous and healthy.

1. Why did Yao Ming arrest Pikachu? Because he's with the Rockets-

2800 soldiers went to war. Why only 300 people came back? A: Because 500 (singer) went to sing.

3. Sleep with your lover, and lead a drunken life!

Sleeping with a young lady is too expensive!

Sleep with your wife and play dead all night!

Sleep alone, lonely to death!

How do you want to die tonight?

One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was very hot and boring. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket."

There is a family named Pan, and the elder in the family died.

At the family festival, an old gentleman with a strong accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies.

The obituary says this:

Filial piety: Pangenko

Filial piety: Chi family

Filial piety granddaughter: Pan Liangci

Filial piety: Pan Daoshi

But this old gentleman is blind and his pronunciation is not standard.

When he called the roll according to the obituary, anyone who literally had three points of water or left the capital missed it.

So I read it to him like this: "Be filial, turn over ... and fight with ..."

Hearing this, the filial piety man felt very strange, but he was afraid to ask, so he turned a somersault.

Then he said, "Filial piety, too ... is ..."

Hearing this, the filial daughter-in-law said, "I want to turn it over, too?" So the filial daughter-in-law also turned a somersault.

Again: "Filial piety granddaughter, turn it over twice. 」

Hearing this, the filial granddaughter thought that her parents had turned over, so I turned over! So I turned two somersaults.

At this time, Sun Xiao thought to herself, "Mom and Dad turned it over once, and my sister turned it over twice. How many times should I turn it over?" I started to get nervous when I thought about it: "What should I do? 」

I saw the old man slit his throat and read aloud:

"Filial piety sun ... turn ... to ... go to hell ..."

Once three hooligans (A, B, C) insulted the princess, and the king ordered a city search. A few days later, three hooligans were arrested, and the king punished them and gave them two choices (1: hitting JJ 100 and beheading). A chose to play JJ, so he was dragged to a room and only heard screams of pain (B and C sweating). 10 minutes later, A came out pale. B looked a little scared after watching A, but in order to survive, he chose to hit JJ, but the king said it would be raised to 150, so he was also pulled into a room. C only heard the screams of pain, which was worse than A. 15 minutes later, B came out (in a coma). C suddenly remembered B's painful screams, and he decided to die. The king was silent for a long time and said, play JJ until you die. ..................

7. A passenger ship had an accident, and 10 male 1 female drifted to a desert island.

1 month later, the woman committed suicide and felt that what happened this month was disgusting.

Another month passed, 10 The man buried the woman's body. They think what happened this month is disgusting.

A month later, 10 man dug up the woman's body again. They think what happened this month is even more disgusting.

A month later, God resurrected the woman because he thought what happened this month was the most disgusting. ....

8. A group of boys lie in the dormitory at night and talk about physiological knowledge. A man suddenly asked: Do you think there are men with two balls in this world? ! At that time, everyone was silent. . . Then send text messages to each other: Do you want to tell him the truth? Will telling him the truth change his outlook on life and values from now on? .

9. After three people died, they came to the junction of heaven and hell and met an angel. The angel said: the number of places in heaven is limited, and there is only one room left. If you all want to go to heaven, let's see who dies the worst and who can go to heaven the worst. ..

A: My job is to clean the glass of tall buildings every day. I cleaned on 18 floor the day before yesterday, because my feet slipped down accidentally ... fortunately, I caught the balcony on 15 floor when I landed on it. I feel glad that my master stepped on my hands and feet ... which made me continue to fall and thought I was dead ... Who would have thought that I was caught by the awning downstairs two minutes later, which is really God's blessing.

B: I came home the day before yesterday and heard groans at home ... I was sure I was having an affair ... I rushed home with a fever and found no one ... so I looked for an adulterer everywhere. Finally, I saw a hand on the balcony thinking that you were not dead and dared to be ambiguous with me ... so I stepped on it and he fell down. Whoever wants to fall on the awning and not die, I will move to the refrigerator and smash it. Finally, I killed the adulterer because I was so happy that I had a heart attack. ...

C: The day before yesterday, my hostess and I had an affair at her house. Suddenly I heard her husband coming home, so I hid in the refrigerator and thought, "This should be very safe." Who knew her husband was so enthusiastic that he found me so quickly and threw it downstairs without saying anything ... 15 floor. ...

10. The robber took a younger brother and took him to rob a bank. The younger brother said, big brother, give me a chance to perform. After that, he rushed into the bank, pulled out his gun and shouted: robbery! ! As a result, everyone looked at him coldly. The robber came and slapped him and asked, is this called robbery? So he went on to say that money is the life of the country, not his own, and then shot at the ceiling and threw the backpack out. A few minutes later, when the money was full, my brother took his backpack and drove away with his brother. On the way, the younger brother said, eldest brother, let me count how much money we robbed. The robber slapped him in the face and said, why are you so stupid? Why don't you watch the news tomorrow? ......