Funny copywriting that I can't help liking.

I have a strong mother. I remember when I was a child, my mother took me to ride a bike, and my foot got stuck in the wheel. My mother felt unable to pedal, so she stood up and pedal.

2. Acute gastroenteritis is hospitalized. It almost killed me. My dad came to see me and said anxiously: Why can't this stupid hospital even connect to a WIFI!

3. When I went to the barber's, the barber tied a scarf for me and praised me, saying that beautiful women's eyes are so big! I said, brother, I can still stick out my tongue if you tighten it a little.

4. Taking a roller coaster in Happy Valley, someone else's girlfriend: "Ah, it's so scary." Girlfriend: "Oh, I'll go! Oh, I'll go! " "

I wanted to turn around and smile at the male god, but I didn't expect it to be too cold and my nose was running with laughter.

6. Take it away today

My 2-year-old son ate stinky tofu for the first time. The son took a bite: "Mom, who pulled this?" It's delicious! " "The husband listened and said," Take good care of him these days and stop shitting! " "

7. Why do people like to take off their shirts and go shirtless when fighting in groups? If everyone takes off their pants, the atmosphere will be a bit strange.

8. Girlfriend: Look at someone else's boyfriend! Everyone eats his girlfriend's leftovers! Me: You fucking left it for me!

When I was in middle school, a classmate in my class lent me a CD with the words "Minors are forbidden to watch alone". Very clever. I asked my parents to watch it together. My face was swollen that day. 10. The last person in Beijing M. Guo was Jay Chou, because the first sentence when Jay Chou met was: short!

1 1. Buy a new mobile phone with a face recognition unlock screen. Sometimes the failure of unlocking tells me that the face matching is unsuccessful, and I can accept it. Sometimes it is too much to say that no face is detected!

12. I went shopping in the supermarket today and saw that the shopping carts of two monks were full. I thought monks were really rich. When I checked out, the cashier asked him if he would pay in cash or by credit card. One of the monks said: We have come to beg alms.

Thirteen. My son failed in the middle school entrance examination and was scolded by his wife. I went to comfort my son: "You must study hard and surpass your father in the future." The son paused, and then said weakly, "I can't guarantee anything else." But I'm sure I'll find a better wife than you in the future. "

14. You'd better choose to show love at noon. Do you know why? Because sooner or later there will be retribution.

Fifteen. "What kind of man do you like?" "I like a man with a radiant smile." "Do you mean Tathagata?"

16. The teacher thinks he is awesome every time. He teaches.

What students have not seen for more than ten years, they never think we are chess pieces.

Students of more than ten years have never seen any teachers!

Seventeen. There is no fire in simulated fire, and there is no earthquake in simulated earthquake. Then why is there a test in the mock exam? This is not scientific.

18. I won't get pregnant. I am very pregnant myself!

Me: "There is a girl standing on my left, typing." Friend God replied: Girl!

20. It's too hot today. In the office, enjoying air conditioning and playing with a mobile phone, a female colleague walked by: "You are so idle!" " I said without thinking, "Have you tasted it?"

I often see you on the bus, and you often see me. I fell in love with you at first sight, but you were clutching your wallet.

22. I think students should be given chairs like the judges of The Voice of China in class. If they think they speak well, they should turn around and listen to the class. If they don't think so, they should turn their backs on the teacher and play with their mobile phones.

Twenty-three An intern nurse drew blood from me and stuck several needles in my arm, but no blood vessels were found. But this little girl is so calm and serious, and she has the meaning of stabbing blood vessels and not giving up.

After a dozen stitches, I endured severe pain and asked the little nurse in awe: Did you learn this stitch from Sister Rong?

Twenty-four Tencent Weibo has a function: Blow. It's boring to go to the toilet, so I'm going to try it when I see Weibo, because in the toilet, the network is unstable and always breaks down, so I can only keep blowing and blowing. When I was happy, a sentence came from next door, "Is it too hot to eat?" .