College English Jokes

College English Jokes

College English Jokes 1:

A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dogtrotted(trotted) off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper."How much did you give him? " asked the owner."Five dollars.""Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."

College English Joke 2:

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So they got married immediately .The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married." "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

College English Joke 3:

One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem--how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage. They came to the conclusion that the cage was placed too low and decided to raise it from one to two meters high. But the next day the kangaroos were still at large and they again raised the cage to three meters.

One day, the zoo administrators found that the kangaroo ran out of the cage, so they held a meeting to discuss and agreed that the height of the cage was too low, so they decided to increase the height of the cage. The height was increased from 1 meter to 2 meters. As a result, they found the next day that the kangaroo still ran outside, so they decided to increase the height to 3 meters.

Quite beyond their expectation the next morning they saw the kangaroos still free to go about. They were alarmed and determined to go to all the length by raising the cage to the height of ten meters.

Unexpectedly, the next day they saw all the kangaroos running outside, so the administrators were very nervous and decided to increase the height of the cage to 10 meters.

Later a giraffe, while chatting with some kangaroos, asked them, ?Do you think they will go on raising your cage?

One day, the giraffe and a few kangaroos were chatting,? Do you think these people will continue to raise your cage? The giraffe asked.

?Hard to say,? said a kangaroo, ?if they continue forgetting to fasten the cage door.?

?Hard to say. ?said the kangaroo, ?if they keep forgetting to close the door!? ;