What jokes did China have in ancient and modern times? quickly

A jewelry store was stolen. When the police arrived at the scene, they found a drunk lying there. In order to find out the whereabouts of the jewels, the police found a bucket of cold water, pushed the drunk's head into the water and asked, "Did you see those jewels?"

The drunk opened his misty eyes and said, "Sorry, I really can't find it. You'd better change a diver! " "

A gambler took 1000 yuan from home to gamble. A few hours later, he came back.

His wife quickly asked, "Did that big bill have a baby?"

"Yes, yes," the gambler said sadly, taking out two 10 yuan bills from his pocket. "It's a pity that their mother died."

Wise move

A citizen of Moscow lost a parrot-a parrot that can swear.

Who knows what will be said outside? The shopkeeper was very nervous. In order to avoid unnecessary trouble, he specially published an advertisement in a prestigious newspaper with a large circulation: "I lost a talking parrot, and I hereby solemnly declare that I disagree with its political views."

A family gave birth to a son, a gifted baby. After a child is born, he can talk and recognize people.

Start your own family. Sadly, the relatives died as soon as the child called them.

The child called grandpa, who was drinking water and choked to death at once. The child called grandma, and grandma was crossing.

Entered the threshold, fell down and died.

The father of the child saw that the child was so old, took a look at the child and was preparing to run away from home. I didn't expect the child's

Sweep your eyes and open your mouth. Father trembled with fear. Sure enough, the child called "Dad". Father's heart

Suddenly sank to the bottom of the sea: "I can't die like this, I will die in bed!" " "Father climbed with his legs.

Get into bed and wait for death.

Waiting and waiting, my father waited for hours, but he never died. Father's loyalty jumped up: "baby!" "

Can't beat his father! "。 Father is spreading everywhere.

At this time, the neighbor's sister-in-law came to inform her father with tears: "My poor husband was fine just now and suddenly cried."

I don't know how I died! "

Someone went to the laboratory, and the nurse pointed to a sign in front and said that non-undergraduate personnel were not allowed to enter.

The visitor was furious and scolded, "I'll take a urine test and get a fucking bachelor's degree."

The wife asked her husband: Do you like my gentleness and cuteness or my cleverness and beauty?

Husband: I like your sense of humor!

An American, a Frenchman and an China were walking in the desert when they saw a bottle. After opening the cork, a man came out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can grant each of you three wishes!" " Americans first said, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "it's very simple, it satisfies you!" Tell me about the second wish. " The American said, "I want a lot of money!" " After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Take me home." The fairy said, "No problem." "So the United States

Americans come back to America with a lot of money. The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want beautiful women!" " "The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" ""The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France." After the fairy sent the Frenchman back to China, she asked the China people what they wanted. China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people said, "Another bottle of Erguotou!" The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China said, "I miss China and Americans very much. Please get them all back. " France and the United States are very popular, but they are helpless, so the three of them have to continue to walk. Walking, I saw another bottle. When I opened the plug, another man came out. The man said, "I am the younger brother of the fairy just now. My magic is not as strong as his. I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you." The French and Americans think it's better to let China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy realized his wish. The French and Americans urged China people to express their second wish as soon as possible. After drinking Erguotou, China people slowly said to the immortal, "Good.

All right, it's okay. Go away. "An American, a Japanese and a China are exploring in the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Americans are the first to get the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass." Mats, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come, give me the Japanese mat." …