Whether a marriage will last forever, is it doomed from the beginning?

There are always some women around me who like to complain that they are married to an unreliable man. They have to wash, cook and take care of their children every day, and they also have to be wary of the day when their boss dislikes them. I was resigned, but when I saw that my friends around me were so unmoved and my husbands were in pain, they were extremely envious. There are also some women who, despite their poor background, dream of being a canary, but after being locked up in a cage and losing their freedom, they are unwilling to cry in a BMW.

Everyone will choose the person to spend the rest of their life with based on their own preferences. In this process, they will encounter obstacles, so that not all couples can get what they want and live a happy life. . In fact, some unhappy marriages are destined to end before they choose. The root cause of unhappy marriages lies in the kind of lover you want to choose and the purpose of marrying him. If you go on the wrong path from the beginning, Of course there will be no happy marriage.

What we often talk about in marriage is "fate". This "fate" refers more to yourself. It is your choice what kind of person you marry. It is also your choice whether you want to stop the loss in time. choice. How a person fares in a marriage depends not only on meeting unkind people, but also on finding the reasons within oneself.

There is a saying about marriage: No matter how you choose marriage, you are wrong. A long-term marriage is destined to make mistakes.

What this sentence actually means is that there is no perfect marriage in this world. We must have our own bottom line and principles in many cases, and at the same time, we should not have too high requirements for the other half. Marriage requires two people to work hard, and both men and women in it have to work together to mature. There are no two people who are perfect for each other from the beginning.

This requires us to pay attention to a person’s character, sense of responsibility, and inner nature when making pre-marriage choices. Based on your feelings, when you choose a reliable person, at the same time, If you continue to improve yourself in marriage, your chances of winning in marriage will be greater. vice versa.

You still need to pay attention to pre-marriage choices, improve your views on love and marriage, and don’t let scumbags take advantage of you.

There are three types of marriages that are destined not to have a happy ending. Their misfortune is determined from the very beginning when two people meet. Women are reminded again that they must think carefully before making a decision before getting married, and understand themselves. Why marry him.

First, in order not to be left behind, people are forced to get married by their parents

This situation is also very common in real life, especially among today’s young people, who are playful and playful in nature. I like freedom, but I have to face my parents' constant nagging and urging for marriage. Some people cannot make the decision on their own when faced with their parents' urging to get married. They feel panicked when their parents push for marriage, and they dare not resist. They simply get married in a muddle because of the urging.

Liu Yue and Fang Hao met through a blind date, or a blind date carefully planned by their parents. The relationship between their two families was very good, but they had no contact for a long time. Later, they became in-laws because of a sudden meeting. In addition, they had already reached the age of marriage, and their parents kept urging them, but there was no other way. In the end, they had no choice but to fall in love after a hasty contact.

Ever since their daughter fell in love, her parents were happy, and they have been looking forward to the matter settling down, so they nagged in her ears every day: "We are all old, and we just want to see you get married as soon as possible." We can just close our eyes with peace of mind. Besides, you said you won’t get married when you are thirty, and the neighbors and relatives around you are all laughing. What are you waiting for? What's more, our two families are so close, you can't stand the bullying if you marry him! ?

Liu Yue’s parents pressed hard, and Fang Hao’s parents were even more anxious to hold their grandson. With the help of their parents, they got married within half a year of dating. However, after getting married, Liu Yue was not as happy as her mother said. She was urged by her mother-in-law to have a child, and the relationship between her and Fang Hao was not deep. She was not very happy herself, and some things simply could not be settled. .

Fang Hao is a workaholic. He either works overtime or is busy on business trips. He rarely pays attention to Liu Yue. The two of them lie on the same bed but rarely communicate.

In addition, their values ????are also very different, and their living habits are very different. Liu Yue has always wanted to keep a pet, but Fang Hao hates furry things. They always had cold wars and quarrels in their marriage, and finally separated after less than a year of marriage. . Liu Yue was also blamed by her mother-in-law: "It's just a hen that can't lay eggs." ?

Sometimes when faced with our parents’ urging and forced marriage, we feel helpless and even have a headache. They urge us to rent a boyfriend and girlfriend back home. Faced with our parents' urging to get married, on the one hand we should have an understanding attitude and thank them for their selfless care for us. On the other hand, we should also have our own perseverance. After all, understanding and making do with marriage are two different things.

Parents must not always interfere in the matter of marriage. When choosing a spouse, it is okay for parents to give opinions, but in the end, you should make your own decision whether you love or marry. We cannot choose to marry someone with whom we have no emotional foundation in order to satisfy our parents' wishes, and use our foolish filial piety and sacrifice our own marriage in exchange for a smiling face of our parents.

A marriage that is compromised in the end cannot buy you a lifetime of happiness at all. What you get in exchange is more inappropriateness and future pain. There is no best age to get married, only the person you should marry. .

Although some leftover women are getting older and have indeed reached the age of starting a family, they should not regard marriage as a task at this stage and rush into love and marriage. The result of a flash marriage is not beneficial. There is no regret medicine in this world. The idea of ????getting married first and then divorce later is absolutely unacceptable.

Second, just to change the current situation

In fact, marriage can change a person’s life path to a certain extent, and it can change a person’s background and wealth. A shortcut, just like some girls, although they have a bad background, after marrying a rich man, their life path will become rich and comfortable. Of course, there are not many men who want to marry a powerful woman in the family and eventually be able to achieve success in their career. The ancient "Chen Shimei" is the most typical representative.

Xu Wei's family conditions are not good. She was born in a rural area, and her family favors sons over daughters. She has suffered a lot since she was a child. But by chance, she met her current husband, Zheng Xuan. Zheng Xuan's family situation was very good. After learning about Xu Wei's experience, he had always been very considerate to her. And Xu Wei had to admit that she broke up with her boyfriend, who was also from the countryside, because she no longer wanted to live a hard life. She didn't want to go back to the countryside, let alone work hard to make money, and could only buy a house for the rest of her life.

When they got married, everyone in Zheng Xuan’s family opposed the marriage and were unwilling to let the two of them get married. Zheng Xuan was the only one who insisted. In the end, they had no choice but to let Xu Wei marry. past. After getting married, Xu Wei tried her best to make her parents-in-law happy and tried her best to curry favor with her mother-in-law, but she still couldn't get her mother-in-law's kindness.

Later, the relationship between Xu Wei and Zheng Xuan did not last long. Not long after Xu Wei became a housewife, Zheng Xuan had another woman outside. Although he did not mention divorce, Xu Wei Wei's pride still drove her to divorce. She no longer envied the canary-like lifestyle she once had, and she finally chose to escape from this confinement. Although after the divorce, she had a considerable breakup fee, she also wasted her best youth. .

In fact, everyone hopes that their life can be better, and it is not surprising to have such an idea. However, taking shortcuts, marrying into a wealthy family, and borrowing money to achieve a comfortable life may not be possible. A fulfilling marriage.

Not all men can make you rely on you for a lifetime, and marriage may not provide you with a warm and comfortable shell. In the end, you still have to rely on yourself, because only you are the most reliable. Don't hope that marriage can change your destiny. You can take shortcuts, but while taking shortcuts, you have to be prepared for danger in times of peace and constantly improve yourself.

Third, marriages with inconsistent views

The older leftover women and leftover men who go on a blind date because their parents urge them to get married will really not be able to spark love and achieve a happy and happy life. Marriage?

In fact, this is not the case. Liu Yue and Fang Hao have very different personalities, living habits, and consumption concepts. These are completely inconsistent. The same is true for Xu Wei and Zheng Xuan. They decided from the very beginning. The difference between the two of them.

The growth environment leads to differences in the three views of two people, which will cause a lot of conflicts after marriage. This is undeniable. The most fundamental difference lies in the three views, and the most terrifying thing is when encountering the three views. When they have inconsistent views, they are still unwilling to use understanding and tolerance to fill in the other party's inconsistencies.

Some people say: "It's easy to fall in love because of the five senses." It's not easy to get along because of three views. ?

So, when it comes to marriage, only when you meet someone who has the same three views as you can you get along more easily and comfortably in the future.

In a good marriage, you are not stuck together all day long, but you are two independent people in the marriage. The relationship between you is both independent and interdependent. This is truly good. marriage. For example, if he doesn't interfere with anything you do, he will respect it. Based on your certain freedom, the same goes for you. As long as the bottom line and principles are not involved, he will rely more on self-control in marriage.

The more important thing in marriage is responsibility. Get along well before getting married. Carefully consider whether you are at the stage where you can get married. Understand all aspects clearly before entering marriage. As long as you choose a person with good character. For people who are similar in all aspects of responsibility, your marriage is much more likely to be happy.

When you are in love, pay attention to the harmony between the two of you, whether you can respect and tolerate each other, and whether you have dealt with the bottom line.

Many times, people who are in unhappy marriages are doomed from the beginning. What kind of thoughts do you have before getting married, then what kind of marriage will you get. If there is no love, no emotional basis, and it is just for a certain purpose, to achieve a certain goal, then misfortune after marriage is inevitable.

The best marriage should be one in which two people tolerate and support each other, and have a certain emotional foundation. In addition, in terms of material conditions, they must be equally matched to ensure that they can understand each other spiritually. Agreed, this is the most beautiful marriage.

Marriage is a major event in everyone’s life because it is related to their happiness in the second half of their lives, just like what Ma Yili said when she won the award for "My First Half of Life" at an international ceremony. :?Everyone only has a first half of life and a second half of life. If you don’t live well in the first half of your life, you must manage the second half of your life well. ?

If you want to live a smooth and happy life, you must choose a good marriage, because marriage is the most critical opportunity for a person to choose happiness, and it is also the turning point between luck and misfortune in life, and the relationship between happiness and happiness. Only when people live together will they be happy, and not compromising is the best.

Karen Horney, the author of "Marriage Psychology", said that a good marriage is mutual support. Whether a marriage is good or not depends largely on whether two people are of the same mind, not who is right or wrong.

I hope more people can find that person who is willing to support each other with you instead of always worrying about right and wrong. Find the right person to marry, and your marriage is likely to be happy. Don't think that as long as you get married and pass this hurdle, everything will be fine. You have to carefully observe the person you are getting along with to see if you two are suitable for marriage. Whether a marriage can go to the end, its misfortune is actually doomed from the beginning. ?

This requires us to pay more attention to pre-marriage choices, improve ourselves more, get along more in love, discover and solve problems instead of avoiding them. How well you get along in love will probably determine what kind of marriage you will have.