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The most humorous country in the world?
In order to solve the problem of border roadblocks, Valo, then the mayor of Xiyu, went to the Miami Federal Court with residents and demanded to stop setting up border roadblocks in Florida, but in vain.
At noon the next day, Valo and others announced their separation from the United States in the Western Regions and the formal establishment of the Conch Republic. Valo became the Prime Minister of People's Republic of China (PRC), took over the naval bases in the western regions, and asked the US government to provide 1 billion dollars of "foreign aid".
Starting from 1993, "Conch * * and China" began to issue "national passports" and "diplomatic passports". Local residents are very proud of their dual citizenship of "Conch Republic" and American citizens.
[Supplement]: Just two days after New Year's Day in 2006, Cuban refugees began to sneak into the United States again. 65438+10.4,/kloc-0.5 boat people boarded an abandoned pier of Qili Long Bridge in Florida, USA, and were captured by the Coast Guard. According to the current "dry feet and wet feet" policy of the federal government, people who arrive in the United States can apply for political asylum; Those who are intercepted at sea are wet feet and will be repatriated. The Bush administration insists that the abandoned wharf was built artificially, and there is no bridge connecting the land, so it no longer belongs to American territory in a strict sense. These 65,438+05 refugees were immediately sent back to Cuba. As soon as this move came out, there were criticisms everywhere. On the occasion of public outcry, "Conch * * * and China" issued a statement on 13, announcing the merger of abandoned land and the construction of cheap environmentally-friendly residential buildings in the area, and the Conch flag was immediately inserted into the dock. According to the office of Conch and the Secretary-General of the United States, the flag-planting operation did not encounter any resistance from the United States. The news that the little conch teased the world's first power once again attracted people's attention to this pocket-sized "country". The name conch can be traced back to early American immigrants. When the first English people tired of the king's greed and tyranny crossed the sea to Jamestown, Virginia, others also settled in the Bahamas. They call themselves conch to show their strong will to eat snail meat rather than tyrant Lu. Today's "Conch Republic" is located at the southernmost tip of Florida, and its "founding" history stems from the immigration restriction and blockade policy during the Reagan administration. In the early 1980s, in view of illegal immigrants using the island in southern Florida as a springboard to sneak into the United States, on April 22nd, 1982, the US Federal Border Patrol suddenly set up the check card beside the Florida 1 highway. Since the road and bridge are the only land routes connecting the southern islands with the continental United States, the search by the Border Patrol resulted in a traffic jam of 17 miles. This isolation measure aroused the great anger of people of insight on the island and immediately triggered the American-style democratic resistance movement. Considering that the traffic jam will seriously threaten the tourism industry on which the island depends, on April 22nd, dennis wardlow, Mayor of Key West Island, and several other celebrities on the island flew to Miami federal court to try to cancel the blockade order. After the application was rejected, when leaving the federal court, Mayor Wardlow solemnly announced to the newspaper and TV reporters present: "The Florida Keys will officially leave the United States at noon tomorrow!" The mayor's attempt to separate caused an immediate uproar. At the same time, federal agents began to sneak into key west. They wore blue suits, headphones and microphones at the cuffs, in sharp contrast to the short dresses of tropical shirts and slippers of islanders. Rumors about the island under pressure are everywhere, and it is very likely that the wind will go away and people will start to be afraid. At noon on April 23, Clinton Square in front of the old customs building was crowded with people. Wardlow, the mayor of Xijiao Island, boarded a flatbed truck surrounded by his loyal followers, and read the People's Republic of China (PRC) Conch Declaration of Independence in a clear voice amid the loud opposition of the protesters. Then he took a loaf of Cuban bread and hit a man in a uniform of the United States Navy on the head, symbolizing the official start of armed resistance. However, the rebellion lasted only one minute, and the new Prime Minister of Conch Republic, Valdero, surrendered to the US naval forces stationed in Xijiao Island, and immediately asked the United States of America to provide 1 billion dollars in foreign war relief funds to rebuild the homeland under the long-term siege and blockade of the federal government!
While the media was amazed, the American government was even more dumbfounding about the humorous feat of the islanders. Although the barricade was immediately removed, it never made any official response to the statement of the key, and "Conch and Country" was born.
1994 The White House announced that it would hold the Summit of the Americas in Miami, Florida, USA in February 65438. The White House newsletter invites all American heads of state to attend the grand meeting and actively participate in the planning and agenda setting of the meeting. "Conch * * * and the country" heard about this great event and immediately accepted the invitation. However, Conch's enthusiasm for playing a greater role in the world became wishful thinking, and the State Council turned a deaf ear to its application. Angry conch decided to look for opportunities to attend the meeting as scheduled. At that time, Intercontinental Miami Hotel was designated as the official hotel of the delegates to the Summit of the Americas. All rooms are controlled by the State Council and are closed to the public during the conference. However, the islanders waited for an opportunity to learn from the hotel sales department that the presidential and royal suites of the hotel were not booked by the State Council, because they were not equal to other rooms. The official price of the presidential suite is $2,200 per night, and the royal suite is $2,500 per night. After some bargaining, "Conch * * * and China" were able to book a royal suite at the price of 1500 USD per night and attend the Summit of the Americas. As soon as the news came out, a reporter immediately asked the US government to verify the rumors. The State Council official Alexander olma Soff had no choice but to answer: The reef belongs to Florida, and the "Conch Republic" was not invited. Regarding the "state" system, the islanders immediately sent a negotiation fax to Mr. olma Soff, asking him to make a "statement". The letter insists that since the US government never made any formal response to the key separation incident 12 years ago, Conch naturally became a sovereign and independent country according to relevant international laws and regulations. At the same time, the islanders stressed that as loyal citizens, they have no intention of interfering with the legitimate rights and interests of the United States. Conch attended the summit for no other purpose, just to show the humor and respect that the United States particularly needs at this moment. Although the statement was as heavy as a rock, the Conch people were not depressed. In addition to solemnly stating their position, they immediately wrote to Biedie MacKay, deputy governor of Florida, chairman of the Florida Organizing Committee of the Summit of the Americas, and Mr. david lawrence, publisher of Miami Herald, seeking their help to "find their place in this historic event and play their due role". Lawrence readily replied. First, he praised Conch's humorous act and reminded islanders with a stroke of his hand that "the Summit of the Americas is a very serious international political affair, and any ridicule will seriously harm the interests of the United States in the Western Hemisphere". The islanders immediately responded to this, saying that they only have humorous respect for the Summit of the Americas, and there is no irony. Lawrence had no choice but to upload the ball, and Conch's request was sent to the White House and relevant departments in the State Council. While seeking a diplomatic breakthrough, the work of islanders' groups is also in full swing. Mayer He Fei of the Marine History Association of Cay Key Island was appointed as "Minister of Underwater Affairs" and will bring cultural relics to the exhibition. At the same time, the enterprises in the island gave generously, so the Conch delegation became the only delegation funded by voluntary donations rather than taxes at the Summit of the Americas.
1994 65438+On February 8th, the Summit of the Americas was held as scheduled. At 8: 00 a.m., the Conch "delegation" left the capital of * * * and arrived in Miami on the same day, only to see former police, gendarmerie, plainclothes police and the State Council security personnel gathered at the Intercontinental Hotel. After presenting the red diplomatic passport of "Conch and Republic", the islanders were immediately taken to the red carpet hall under the attention of everyone. Under the guidance of the etiquette lady, the Conch "delegation" boarded the 33rd floor of the hotel, and was surprised to find that the next-door neighbor was Caesar gaviria, Secretary General of the Organization of American States from Colombia, and the Canadian Prime Minister lived on the other side of the floor. The whole floor is tightly controlled by American security personnel. When they arrived, they put their luggage on the cold marble floor, and the islanders blew their horns with warm sea breeze, which immediately attracted security guards to watch. At this time, a TV station came to interview Mr. gaviria, Secretary General of the Organization of American States, and the reporter immediately asked to interview the "representative" of Conch. In the hotel, Fisher, the representative of Conch, first presented a gold necklace to Catherine Kenny, the conference manager of the hotel, and then, with the consent of Tietie Company, set up an exhibition of the island's history and culture in the lobby and distributed a brief introduction. This move immediately attracted the attention of the delegates. People began to visit the royal suite in twos and threes, listen to the story of Key Island, see the rare conch, and then get the "Conch * * * and China" passport with a knowing smile and leave. They include the Finance Minister of Trinidad and Tobago, the Minister of Trade and Industry of Belize, members of the Canadian delegation, Colombian guests, White House Attaché, Trade Representative of the Democratic National Committee, Chairman of the Ogos Foundation and representatives of the Ocean Bank. Even the the State Council security personnel in charge of security and two heavily armed Miami policemen were infected and joined the ranks of applying for passports. If we don't fight, we can't talk. At this time, the security guards and islanders have become old friends. On Saturday afternoon, when the summit delegates returned to the hotel, the islanders were allowed to line up on the dock to welcome more than a dozen Caribbean heads of state who returned from the meeting. The snail flag fluttered and the horn fluttered, and the delegates who had worked hard all day could not help but open their mouths. It is a publicity activity of "Conch and Country", which makes everyone shine at the moment. The outstanding performance of conch also attracted the attention of Florida Governor Lawton Childers who attended the meeting. After the islanders' representatives met unexpectedly in the men's room of the Intercontinental Hotel, they simply hired the Governor as the special envoy for mainland affairs of "Conch and China". At this point, the news anti-blockade campaign has achieved a comprehensive victory, and the whole world knows that there is a famous "Conch * * * and China" shining on the international stage! That night, in order to celebrate the success of the summit, the organizing Committee set off fireworks in Bishiguan Bay. Drinking coconut wine and watching the beautiful scenery outside the window, the islanders are naturally happy.
1On September 20th, 995, news came from the office of the Secretary-General of "Conch Republic of China" that the 478th Battalion of the US Army Reserve was about to enter Xijiao Island for relevant exercises, "simulating a military strike against a remote country". Staff officers immediately reported this emergency military situation to "Prime Minister" dennis wardlow. When the storm suddenly came, Dennis vowed to live and die with "* * * and the country", and the office of the Secretary-General immediately became the wartime headquarters. In the morning 10, Harvey, the supreme commander of the conch armed forces and the "commander of the navy", immediately put the armed forces under his jurisdiction on full alert. Radio stations on the island began to inform the islanders of the grim situation. By noon 12, a negotiation letter addressed to the commander-in-chief of the US armed forces, the chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff and the US Secretary of State Christopher had been hastily sent out, protesting in the strongest terms any unauthorized so-called military exercises on its territory. The wartime cabinet meeting of the island was held that night. After discussion, it was decided to throw Cuban bread at the invading federal armed forces when the US troops crossed the Boca Chica Bridge, which was the first choice weapon on the island. At the same time, the "naval fleet" set up a line of defense on the bridge on Stoke Island to prevent American troops from entering the capital of "* * *". The next morning, the Secretary-General's office formally handed over the gauntlet to the 478th Battalion and the letter of protest from Conch to the White House, the Pentagon and the State Council.
Unexpectedly, the officers of the 478th Battalion were stunned by the political consequences of routine military exercises. At 9: 45, Major Mueller telephoned the office of the Secretary-General of the Conch Republic and vowed that the 478th Battalion had no intention of harming the islanders. All the officers and men in the battalion are good people and sincerely hope to avoid large-scale military conflicts. The islanders have made up their minds to reply, which is unstoppable. Unless the 478th Battalion meets the requirements of Conch, any invading American troops will be driven out of the island. 10: 50, the office of the Secretary-General "Conch * * and China" received a fax reply printed on the official letterhead of the 478th Battalion of the US Army, promising that its military exercise "in no way means any doubt or criticism on the sovereignty of Conch * * and China". Although the U.S. military had recognized the sovereignty and sovereignty of Conch in writing at this time, in order to arouse the patriotic enthusiasm of the citizens, the island decided to carry out symbolic resistance. At dawn the next day, "Conch Intelligence" was in place and the navy and air force were all ready. On the occasion of the departure of the US military, the radio station has been broadcasting urgently, reporting that the 478th Battalion has been "attacked" by sporadic fire. When the motorcade of the 478th Battalion was about to embark on the Stoke Island Bridge, I saw more than 200 islanders led by Harvey and Faber blocking the way. Major Kim Hoop of the 478th Battalion had to get off to pay tribute to General Conch. Harvey, the "Navy Commander", read out the negotiation terms of Conch at this time, and finally loudly questioned whether the US military agreed to all the terms, and sought permission from Conch and China to land on the island. "Yes, that's right." Major Hooper replied. The audience immediately applauded, the horn sounded, and the conch defeated the enemy without fighting!
Looking back on the humorous history of more than 20 years, Conch people are confident that they are the first elite country in the world to give full play to their talents. Conch people also believe that their humorous counterattack against the government's arbitrary dereliction of duty from time to time is the best embodiment of the American spirit of democracy and freedom. As a national ideology, Conch firmly believes that one of the most basic principles of human rights in the world is the ability to realize its lofty aspirations. Ziyun belongs to the fifth world country, and the only hope of "Conch Harmony" is to spread more warmth that everyone needs on the earth.
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