A cold joke about rice

One day, Ms. Rice was having lunch in the school cafeteria. While eating, he suddenly found a cockroach in the rice. He was very unhappy. Helplessly take the cockroach out of the bowl and continue to enjoy it. Soon, he saw another cockroach lying in the bowl. He was very angry. But he held back, and he took the cockroach out of the bowl and continued to eat. But soon, he ate the third and fourth cockroaches ... until he ate the sixth cockroach, and he was angry. Take the rest of the rice in the canteen and throw it in the canteen. "How did you do this meal! I have eaten 6 cockroaches! " The uncle in the canteen said slowly: Anyone who saves enough cockroaches can get a bean bag, but you still need a "mtuq", little brother.

J]ivIQ

& lt second > Diary of classmate Q_/{TE/sO5.

Rice students began to keep a diary. Opening the diary, he was very excited, thought about it, and wrote on the first page: "Xiaohong invited me to her house today." With that, he smiled with satisfaction and closed his diary. The next day, Rice thought about what happened that day, but he felt that he had a good time at Xiaohong's house yesterday, so he wrote in his diary: "I was very happy when I went to Xiaohong's house yesterday." On the third day, he opened his diary and naturally thought of him and Xiaohong, so, "I had a good time at Xiaohong's house the day before yesterday."

One day, turtle's father, turtle's mother and turtle's son decided to go for an outing. They took a Shandong pie and two cans of underwater chicken and set off for Yangmingshan. After ten years of hard work, it's finally here! They sat on the floor, unloaded their equipment and prepared to eat. Turns out I didn't bring a can opener!

Son of a turtle: "... I'll go back and get it." 」

Father Tortoise: "Good boy! Come on! Mom and dad are waiting for you to come back for dinner. Go and get back! 」

Tortoise son: "Be sure to wait for me! Don't break your word! 」

So turtle son set foot on the road home. ...

Time flies, time flies, 20 years have passed, but the turtle son has not appeared yet.

Mother turtle: "Wife ... shall we eat first?" ? I was so hungry that I said ... "

Tortoise Dad: "No! We promised our son! Well ... wait for him for another five years, or let him go! 」

It's been five years, and the turtle son still hasn't seen it. Tortoise parents don't care! Parents decided to start.

Take out the pie and get ready to eat. ...

Suddenly, turtle son poked his head out from behind the tree. ...

Turtle son: "Shit! I knew you would steal! Trick me into getting a can opener? I waited for 25 years and finally got it! I hate being cheated! 」

2. Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did the ants say?

Xiao a face of vacant ... Said:

Ant, he said nothing.

3. Tell a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who privately decided to spend their lives, but the boy needed military service, so he made an oath with the girl and gave her a diamond ring, promising to meet her three years later. At that time, rings were used as wedding rings.

Three years later, the boy heard the news of a woman's marriage on the boat home. He was so sad that he threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair. Three days later, the ship landed. The boy went to a small restaurant in the street for dinner. A fish was brought. He picked up the fish and took a bite. He took a bite of something hard and spit it out. Guess what he saw.

Fish bones! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

4. Electrical appliances hold a joke telling contest,

It is stipulated that every electrical appliance should tell a joke.

Let all the audience laugh,

Otherwise you will be taken to Aruba. First, the washing machine,

As soon as he finished his joke, all the audience burst out laughing.

Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

So the washing machine was taken to Aruba. Next is the smartest computer. As soon as his joke was finished, all the home appliances laughed.

I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

So! Computers were also brought to Aruba.

The third place is the most humorous desk lamp.

The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone laughed and rolled on the ground.

The rice cooker said, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"

Just as the magic lamp was about to be taken to Aruba,

The rice cooker stood up angrily.

Turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said:

"I've had enough of your laughter. Don't open your mouth so wide and cold."

5. Grandpa, father or brother, who will cry after listening to his mother?

grandpa

Because every night I think of my mother's words, my tears are flashing. .......

Cattle A asks Cattle B, Is this grass delicious?

The second cow said, I'll eat.

As a result, the second cow ate it and said, strawberry flavor.

A Niu said incredulously: How can it be strawberry?

So he took a bite and said, fuck! There is no smell at all.

Niu B said, so I said grass is tasteless.

6. Adventure alone in the forest.

Suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals.

So he shouted to the sky:

"I'm dead, God help me!"

I see a light in the sky.

There is a voice:

"Not necessarily,

You pick up a big stone on the ground,

Kill the leader. "

So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground,

Hit the chief hard,

Shoot the director directly.

All the people stayed for a while,

And glared at each other,

Then there was a voice in the sky:

"Now you are really dead."

7. Xiaoyun was sitting at the door playing when an old man came over and asked her:

"Is your father at home?"

Xiao Yun: "Yes!"

The old man rang the doorbell, but no one answered the door for a long time …

"Why didn't anyone open the door?" The old man asked

Xiao Yun: "I don't know, this is not my home."

8. One day, a family caught fire.

Mom and dad both fled, leaving only one son inside.

Mother was very nervous and shouted outside the house.

"Son ... what are you doing ... fire, don't you come out ..."

The son replied ... "I'm wearing socks ..."

Mom said again, "What socks to wear in case of fire ..."

After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. ......

Mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what on earth are you doing?" Come out ~ it's on fire, stay inside ... "

The son said, "I'm taking off my socks."

9. One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly there was a big rush next to him, and when he passed by, the driver shouted at him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Say that finish, 1 of "sou" took off.

Mr. Wang was very angry and stepped on the gas to catch up.

Seeing him catch up, the driver stretched out his head and shouted to him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Then, the whoosh disappeared again.

"Mama of, cow B what!" Mr. Wang felt better after scolding, so he stopped chasing.

After driving for a while,

Mr. Wang saw that the bus just turned over on the side of the road. He was curious and slowly approached.

I saw the driver is under the car, a faint said:

"The elder brothers, ran a catastrophe? Do you know where its brakes are? " ..