Jokes related to Putonghua

1. Misunderstanding of "Withdrawing Money" and "Lack of Money"

Xiao Tang went to Guangzhou on business, ran out of money, and went to the bank to withdraw money. A woman in her early forties served Xiao Tang. Xiao Tang shouted affectionately through the glass in Mandarin, which he had just trained for two weeks: "Elder sister, I will withdraw money." The female staff of the bank immediately changed their faces and their bodies began to shake like wrecks. Xiao Tang thought, shouting elder sister is so excited. Am I too handsome? So he shouted even more arrogantly: "Elder sister, I withdraw money!" Suddenly I felt my head humming, and Xiao Tang was knocked down by the bank security guard and fainted. In the hospital, the police asked Xiao Tang, who just woke up, "Why did you rob the bank?" Xiao Tang is silly: "What bank am I robbing?" The female comrade of that bank pointed to Xiao Tang in the hospital bed and said, "You are still sophistry, shouting' robbery, I am short of money' through the glass. Is it not robbery but deposit?" Now Xiao Tang reminds us every day: "Brothers, speak Mandarin well, so it's safe!"

2. Sidetones and nasal sounds

A friend's sidetones and nasal sounds are indistinguishable. I reminded him many times, but this man didn't agree. The day before yesterday, this man was on a business trip, and was knocked down by a motorcycle in the street, and the accident car escaped. The man was injured in many places all over his body, and his appearance was very miserable. After the police arrived, they asked about the perpetrators, and the friend snorted and reported the situation and said, "A man and a donkey (female)." The police asked several times and all answered "one man and one donkey". Half a day, the policeman suddenly realized, turned to another policeman and said, "Send an investigation report immediately, and wanted Zhang Guolao."

3

The director of a township enterprise will visit Kobe, Japan. He can't even speak Mandarin, but usually only speaks dialects. So he asked his subordinates to find an interpreter, and when they came back, they reported that "none of the Japanese translators could understand the factory director's dialect". The factory director said, "It's easy. We'll bring another teacher from our town and ask him to translate our dialect into Mandarin first." The subordinate said, "Not yet. When I get to Japan, I have to ask someone to translate Japanese Putonghua into Kobe dialect."

4 village head's speech

The village head said at the villagers' meeting, "Rabbits, shrimps, pickles are too expensive, not pickles, but pig's feet." Translate his dialect into Putonghua: Comrades and villagers, let's have a meeting now. Don't talk, but pay attention.

5. I will marry you

An old lady in Putian was selling sugar cane by the roadside. A bus stopped, and a foreigner in the bus came to the old lady's stall to buy sugar cane. Just after weighing the sugar cane, the bus started without paying. The old lady urged, "Come on, give me the money and I'll marry you." Outsiders were so scared that they didn't even take sugar cane and quickly got on the bus.