Funny 100 words a short story

Brother's wish:

In Elder Brother's Naked Age, the Chinese teacher taught a text about an old man taking a shit. Since I pointed fingers at others and scolded me for my nose, this article has been accompanied by my growth!

Everyone thinks this is the sin of SB, but since my brother thinks this is the real NB, I know it's hard for you to understand this, and it doesn't matter. Because I understand that you are no longer idiots. I can understand, because I am NB. I said it grew up with me, because I abandoned it countless times in my life, making it feel that it can't live without me, and now I can control it freely. For example, to the extreme. I've been in a hurry all my life. I feel that I have to remain anonymous after occasionally showing my edge, so I have been running to my volunteers. Speaking of which, you must not know what my wish is. I don't need to hide it from you now, because I am leaving. Leave this world. Although I don't like being apart from it. But I still have to make a decision Although you have a strong smile on your face, I can feel your heart crying and I am laughing. I smiled smugly, but I was not proud. My brother's heart never tears. My heart has never been lonely, but now I am a legend. Don't miss me, I won't be lonely, because I have loneliness. I can be free and easy all my life because I let go of everything. My brother Tian * * *, he grew up with me. Only one person can miss me in my life. She grew up naked with my brother, and she remembers everything about her. Now she has seen through everything, the brother and the legend. My brother is a legend to her now, and also a legend to her. On this square earth, I can only look at her sideways. I won't go to see her, and she won't come to see me, because there is a legend between me and her, so I will work with her to maintain this legend of Bayin (foreign bird language, Chinese translation of IMBA). Legend has it that the elder sister is her. She is the legendary elder sister. Before I left, I told my brother not to miss her because she is a legend. Now I also tell you not to miss your brother, because my brother is just a legend. I say this not because I want to say it, not because I want to learn it. I don't want to leave, but I can leave because I don't want to stay. If one day you see brother and sister walking together, it doesn't mean that the legend has been broken and wrong, but it means that brother and sister have surpassed the legend, not that brother is not a legend, but that brother is ahead of the legend, so at that time, brother is no longer the legendary brother and sister, but the legendary brother and sister. I'm keeping a low profile, so I won't say much. My wish is that my life can be ordinary.

So don't miss me, let me continue the legend! ~~~

The humorous joke story is about 100 words.

& lt& lt I lived in the countryside when I was a child. The most common means of transportation is a bicycle with a beam in front. I had to cross a leg from behind when I got on the bus. One day grandpa took me out to play, put me in the back seat of the car and told me to hurry up. I nodded obediently. As a result, you guessed it. Grandpa swept it to the ground with whirlwind legs. Woo-hoo! ...

& lt& lt remember when I was a freshman, I failed the geography exam. The geography teacher was furious: "40 points in the blank, but someone got 10?" 20 points? Those who get 10 to 20 points stand up and copy the papers ten times! "At this time, the deskmate sighed:" It was very close, and I got 2 1. "When I was lucky, a buddy behind me also sighed faintly:" I almost got 9 points. "My deskmate and I collectively petrified. ...

Satisfied, please adopt.

100 funny story

It's cruel of you not to laugh.

1, five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, so I called the hundred-dollar bill:

"ah! Your son is here. If you don't want us to kill the ticket, you can exchange yourself for him! "

One hundred dollar bills thought for a moment and said:

"Tear it, tear you up and you don't even have five dollars!"

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp.

Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. "

Man: "I want a wife ..."

The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving and I'm greedy for beauty!" " Pathetic! "Then he disappeared.

Man: "... cake."

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two and played badminton.

Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong.

Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! "

Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football. "

4. Panda Man wants QJ Panda Girl, and Panda Girl fights hard and fights to the death.

After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "

5. tortoise and rabbit race ... the rabbit quickly ran to the front. ......

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him, come up, I'll carry you. ......

Then ..... the snail climbed up. ......

Soon ... The tortoise saw another ant ... and said to him, Come up, too. ......

So the ants came up.

When the ant appeared ... he saw the snail on it ... and said to him, hello.

Do you know what the snail said?

Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. .......

6. A man and a woman are eating.

Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me or not?

The boy finally said: love

The girl asked again, then how do you prove it?

Suddenly, the boy took out 30 yuan money from his pocket.

And ask the girl: Do you have ten dollars?

The girl gave the boy ten yuan. ......

The boys put forty yuan on the table.

soon .....

The girl was very angry and asked the boy, Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have been proved! Forty is just around the corner!

7. Go to the snack street one day

Find a store that sells egg towers

Every one looks delicious. I want to buy one to try.

I asked the clerk: Is this sold separately?

Shop assistant: No, it's Japanese.

8. One day, a family caught fire.

Mom and dad both fled, leaving only one son inside.

Mother was very nervous and shouted outside:

"Son ... what are you doing ... it's on fire ..."

The son replied, "I'm wearing socks ..."

Mom said again, "What socks to wear in case of fire ..."

After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. ......

Mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what the hell are you doing?" Come out ~ fire, stay inside ... "

The son said, "I'm taking off my socks."

9. A man went fishing by the river.

First he wore a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~

He had no choice but to change earthworms ~ and there was still no fish for a long time ~ ~

In a rage, he took out 100 RMB and fell into the water to curse:

"*-%#% what to eat! Buy it yourself! ! ! ! "

10, a German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine.

The boss is American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies.

Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan.

He said to the Japanese: You are very thin. You are in charge of supply.

Then every other week, they start to work.

A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first.

When the Germans started to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted:

"surprise! 」

1 1, "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist.

"Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?"

"the sun." The patient replied.

"Then how far do you want to see!"

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said: I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow.

The cow said: I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly.

The pig said: People who fart will blush.

Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out and drove the pig away, saying, How many times have I told you, I was born blushing.

13 One day, a man met God. ......

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish. ......

God asked ......

Do you have any wishes? ......

The man thought about it. ......

I heard that cats have nine lives. ......

Then please give me nine lives. ......

God said, ......

Your wish has come true. ......

One day, the man was idle and bored. ......

If you want to say death, forget it. ......

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks. ......

As a result, a train passed by. ......

That man is still dead. ......

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars. ......

14, one day, three people came to the funeral home. Strangely, their smiles after death are all ......

Confused, the funeral home manager asked the police: Why do people's faces look like this after death?

The policeman said: It's ... it's a long story ... Look at the man on the left ... He and his wife were in the spring night ... at the most * * * moment ... I couldn't stand it ... and then hung up.

The administrator replied, alas ... I wish I could die under the flower ... Being a ghost is also very romantic ... How did the middle one die?

Policeman: The one in the middle ... Oh, he ... is really a human tragedy ... He was walking on the road ... Suddenly, he heard that he won the lottery ... and the prize money exceeded 700 million yuan. ..

When he was laughing happily ... he was hit by an oncoming car ... and died. ......

The administrator replied: Alas ... he really didn't have enough luck to enjoy the rest of his life ... What about the rest?

Policeman: ... it's a pity that this one died ... he was killed by lightning while climbing a tree.

The administrator replied: ... This is a bit wrong. Why do you laugh when you are struck by lightning? ......

The policeman said, because he climbed the tree and thought ... suddenly there was a flash of lightning. ......

He thought ... someone was taking pictures of him. ......

15, it is said that thousands of years ago, both male and female dogs were squatting when urinating.

It was not until the Tang Dynasty that the situation changed. ...

Everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong! His old man keeps a pair of Beijing dogs. On one occasion, Emperor Taizong went to Huashan to worship heaven and brought this pair to. ...

Halfway through the sacrifice, the bitch suddenly felt anxious and ran behind a tree to solve it.

This is a very disrespectful act when offering sacrifices to heaven, which angered the jade emperor.

The Jade Emperor ordered Lei Gong to hit a thunder, and the thunder hit the tree just right. The tree fell and killed the bitch. The male dog was very scared when he saw it. ...

From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will put out a foot and push it hard against the tree.

In case the tree falls by itself. ...

Humorous stories 100 words

Article 1: Anecdote of speech

Celebrities are always invited to give speeches, and Lu Xun is no exception. His speech is full of allusions, full of wit, and is often surrounded by applause and laughter. Once he returned to Peiping from Shanghai, Beijing Normal University invited him to give a speech entitled "Literature and Force". Some students read many articles attacking him in the newspaper, which is unfair to him. In his speech, he said: "Some people say that I came to Peiping this time to grab my job and make a comeback." But please rest assured that I will make a comeback soon. "This sentence immediately attracted laughter at the meeting.

Chapter 2: Get rid of fools

The county magistrate asked, "you slave! I lost my hoe tomorrow. Why didn't you report it yesterday? "

The beadle beside him couldn't help laughing. The magistrate immediately closed the case and said, "You must have stolen the hoe! What the hell are you stealing?

Why? "

The deacon replied, "I want to get rid of that idiot."

Chapter III: Hard copy

There is a student named Shi Jingchao in a class. In an exam, the class teacher accidentally found Shi Jingchao, a student at the same table, copying the answers to the test paper. The teacher was furious: "Shi Jingchao! (hard copy! Hearing this, the middle school students in the class followed suit and copied hard. Seeing that the students misunderstood, the teacher quickly explained, "Don't copy, I'm calling that classmate (the teacher pointed to Shi Jingchao), Shi Jingchao! (hard copy! ) "This time Shi Jingchao copied more fiercely.

Chapter IV: Smoking

One day, a couple saw a boy smoking. She ran over and warned him in the child's language: Does your father know you smoke? The boy asked, does your husband know that you are talking to another man?

The couple bowed their heads in shame and fled in disgrace.

Chapter 5: Tie a tree and hit it.

My friend said, "One day I met three big men who wanted to hit him, so I fought with them." When I came back, I blew up the cow and said, "I let them fight for two hours without knocking me down." People ask what's going on? He said, "Tie a tree and hit it."

Article 6: Blog

Xiaofeng is surfing the Internet in her room. Suddenly her father called out, "Xiaofeng, what are you doing?"

Xiaofeng was fascinated and replied, "I'm doing an inspirational blog."

Dad rushed in and an old hand patted him on the spot. "I knew it was delicious. I told you to peel chestnuts if you didn't study hard!" "

Dad looked at it. "Where is the chestnut shell?"

Xiaofeng aggrieved said, "What do you know? I am writing a blog, inspiring! " "

This article comes from: Love Story Literature Network (shiciw). Detailed citation reference://shiciw//2014317/17935.

Lu Xun's Humorous Short Stories 100 Words

1. The story of haircut

When Mr. Lu Xun was teaching at Xiamen University, he once went to the barber shop for a haircut. The barber didn't know Lu Xun. Seeing his simple clothes, he thought he must have little money and didn't take his hair seriously at all. In this regard, Mr. Lu Xun was not angry, but took out a large sum of money to the barber at will after the haircut-far more than the money payable. The barber was overjoyed, and his face was immediately filled with laughter.

After a while, Lu Xun went to get a haircut again. The barber was overjoyed at this and immediately took out all his housekeeping skills. His face is written with humility, "Slow work makes fine work". Without cooking, Lu Xun did not show his generosity, but took out money and counted it to the barber one by one, without giving a penny more. The barber is puzzled: "Sir, you gave it like that last time. How can you give it like this today?" Lu Xun smiled: "Last time you were careless in geography, I gave it carelessly;" This time you are serious about geography, and I will give it seriously. The barber was very embarrassed.

2. Interesting speech

Celebrities are always invited to give speeches, and Lu Xun is no exception. His speech is full of allusions, full of wit, and is often surrounded by applause and laughter. Once he returned to Peiping from Shanghai, Beijing Normal University invited him to give a speech entitled "Literature and Force". Some students read many articles attacking him in the newspaper, which is unfair to him. In his speech, he said: "Some people say that I came to Peiping this time to grab my job and make a comeback." But please rest assured that I will make a comeback soon. "This sentence immediately attracted laughter at the meeting.

3. Love books

Mr. Lu Xun has had an indissoluble bond with books since he was a teenager. He scrimped and saved all his life and bought many books. He usually takes good care of books, always washes his hands before reading, and washes them carefully when they are dirty. He also prepared a set of tools for himself, and he knew everything about ordering and supplementing books. An old book, after finishing by him, often takes on a new look. He usually doesn't lend his old books to others easily. If someone borrows books, he would rather buy a new book and lend it to others.

4. Punctuation fee

As we all know, punctuation plays an important role in the article, although it is ugly. But in those days, the publishing industry paid little attention to punctuation marks, and when paying the manuscript fee, it was often deducted from the number of words, and the manuscript fee was not given. On one occasion, Lu Xun was asked to write for a publishing house. Because he discovered in advance that the publishing house didn't pay for punctuation marks, there were no punctuation marks in his manuscript.

After reading the manuscript, the editor wrote back and asked Lu Xun to add punctuation marks on the grounds that it was difficult to break sentences. Lu Xun replied: "it is necessary for the author to add punctuation marks to separate paragraphs and chapters, so punctuation marks are still essential." In this case, punctuation marks have to be counted. " The publishing house had no choice but to adopt Lu Xun's opinion, and punctuation marks were also converted into words to pay the manuscript fee. Ha ha!

5. Pepper drives away the cold

Mr. Lu Xun studied hard since he was a child. When I was a teenager, I attended Jiangnan Naval Academy and got excellent results in the first semester. The school awarded him a gold medal. He immediately took it to the street of Nanjing Gulou and sold it. Then he bought some books and a bunch of red peppers. Whenever it's cold at night and he can't stand reading at night, he picks a pepper and chews it in his mouth, making his forehead sweat. In this way, he insisted on studying. After studying hard, he finally became a famous writer in China.

6. Smoke cans can drive away cats.

Lu Xun came to Shanghai in his later years to specialize in writing, and he was still childlike in his fifties. On one occasion, Lu Xun was writing in the dead of night, and the cat outside kept barking, repeatedly interrupting his thinking of writing. Lu Xun immediately picked up fifty tin cans at hand and fired at the hateful cat one by one.

Tease a spy

Once, Lu Xun wandered around the streets of Shanghai, always accompanied by a small spy. Of course, this is a common occurrence for Lu Xun. Lu Xun deliberately regarded him as a beggar, calmly turned around and handed a silver dollar: "Buy food."

Want a funny little story about 100 words!

I remember the first teacher who died because of me.

At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and the teacher took us to the wild to do a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class replied, picking up a leaf from the ground and throwing it into the air. "Pick up something and throw it into the air and watch it float there." "Well, that's good." The teacher praised, "Who else would like to show you again and see what wind is blowing now?"

"me!" I volunteered, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air ... "Teacher, it's blowing up and down now!" " ..... I can't remember clearly what the teacher's expression was like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died. Later, according to the doctor in the hospital, he died because of the sudden strong * * *, which led to the retrograde possession of qi and blood. In this way, I killed a people's teacher

100 humorous story

Hey, hey, hey, one day Xiao Ming went to war and met a Japanese devil. The Japanese are dead, and Xiao Ming's version of me is a little bit. If you know my name is Chen Sizhe, I will kill you.

100 humorous story

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and played badminton.

Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong.

Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! "

Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football. "

100 humorous story

My friend said, "One day I met three big men who wanted to hit him, so I fought with them." When I came back, I blew up the cow and said, "I let them fight for two hours without knocking me down." People ask what's going on? He said, "Tie a tree and hit it."

Ask for a joke story (about 100 words)

One day I got on the bus with a good friend, and the front was full, so I ran to the back and just left.

Two seats are seated. There are two middle school boys sitting in the front row. After one stop, a woman in her twenties led a 7-or 8-year-old boy on the bus. (I learned later.

This is her child,: (

There are no seats, so I stand next to two middle school students. Before long, the child began to make trouble and said that his leg hurt.

The middle school student stood up and offered his seat to the child.

That * * * said: Let the child do it on your knee.

Middle school students agreed. The child sat on the knee of the middle school student.

After a few more stops, a girl came over. It's the kind that is extremely beautiful and extremely sexy. A low-cut skirt.

The bus was moving when the child suddenly shouted to his mother:

"Mom, my brother's little * * is touching! Just like dad's. "

Wandering around!

Hehe, there was a commotion in the car.

That middle school student is very ashamed. Pull the classmate, and then shouted at the driver:

"Ring the doorbell! ! "(He wants to open the door, hehe)

Then, I got off.

-165438+1On October 30th, a leader of No.7 Coal Company said in an interview that the main reason for the "1 1.27" mine disaster was that the underground miners failed to implement the rules and regulations, and the quality of workers was far from our requirements.