Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Looking for some classic philosophical stories
Looking for some classic philosophical stories
A turkey and a cow were chatting. The turkey said: I hope to fly to the top of the tree, but I don’t have the courage. The cow said: Why don't you eat some of my cow dung? They are very nutritious. The turkey ate a little cow dung and found that it did give it enough strength to fly to the first branch. The next day, the turkey ate more cow dung and flew to the second branch. Two weeks later , the turkey flew proudly to the top of the tree, but soon a farmer saw it and quickly shot it down from the tree.
Survival Tip 1: Good luck can get you to the top, but it can’t keep you there.
2. The crow stood on the tree and had nothing to do all day long. When the rabbit saw the crow, he asked: Can I be like you and do nothing all day long? The crow said: Of course, what's wrong? So the rabbit began to rest in the open space under the tree. Suddenly, a fox appeared. It jumped up, grabbed the rabbit, and swallowed it.
Survival Tip 2: If you want to stand and do nothing, then you must stand very high, very high.
3. A little bird flew to the south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird was almost frozen. So, he flew to a large open space, and a cow passed by and dropped a pile of cow dung on the bird. The frozen bird lay in the dung pile and felt very warm. It gradually woke up, and it was warm and comfortable. He was lying down and soon began to sing. A passing wild cat heard the sound and walked over to see what was going on. Following the sound, the wild cat soon found the little bird lying in the dung pile, pulled it out and ate it. .
Survival Tip 3: Not everyone who poops on you is your enemy. Not everyone who pulls you out of the dunghill is your friend, and when you're lying in the dunghill, it's best to keep your mouth shut.
4. There is a bottle under the sea, and a troll is trapped in this bottle. It was a fairy who put the troll in a bottle five hundred years ago. The troll once made a wish: whoever can pick up the bottle, open the cork and rescue him, he will give this person a gold mountain. However, five hundred years have passed and no one has picked up the bottle. The troll was very angry. He cursed: "In the future, if anyone rescues me, I will devour this person in one bite." There was a young fisherman who cast a net to catch fish. When he closed the net, he found an ancient figure in the net. Bottle, he opened the cork, ah! A burst of thick smoke spurted out, and slowly spit out a troll bigger than a mountain. "Hahahaha!" The troll's laughter made the sea waves surge. He said: "Young man, you rescued me. I should have thanked you, but you did it too late. If you had rescued me a year earlier, you would have got a gold mountain! Alas, I will wait. After five hundred years, I am too impatient. I have already made an evil wish to eat the person who rescued me!" The young man was taken aback, but immediately said calmly: "Oh, such a small one. How can the bottle contain you? You must be lying. Go back to the bottle and show it to me!"
"Hahahaha, I won't be fooled! Arabian Nights has long told this ancient story The story has been told. If I get into the bottle again and you plug the stopper again, wouldn't the story be over? ""What? Have you ever read Arabian Nights? You are such a learned and talented person! Have you read the philosophical works of Socrates? ""Haha! For the past five hundred years, I have been hiding in a bottle, reading all the classics in the world, and practicing hard, not to mention the great works of the West, the universities of the East, and the Doctrine of the Mean. , The Analects of Confucius, and Mencius are all familiar to me." "Ah, you have also studied the historical records of Tai Shigong of China, right? Have you dabbled in Mozi's works?" "Don't talk about it, all the classics and history are complete!" "But. , I think you must have never seen the manuscript of Dream of Red Mansions. This is a rare version!" "Hahaha, you kid underestimated me, the collector of this book is me! Let Let me take it out to open your eyes!" The troll immediately turned into a puff of smoke and slowly entered the bottle. At this time, the young fisherman no longer hesitated and quickly blocked the bottle with the cork.
5. Once upon a time, two hungry people received a gift from an elder: a fishing rod and a basket of fresh and huge fish. One of them asked for a basket of fish, and the other asked for a fishing rod, so they parted ways.
The person who got the fish built a bonfire with dry wood and cooked the fish on the spot. He wolfed it down, and before he could taste the aroma of the fresh fish meat, he ate up all the fish and soup in an instant. Soon, he was Starve to death next to an empty fish basket. The other man carried the fishing rod and continued to suffer from hunger, walking hard step by step towards the seaside. But when he saw the blue ocean not far away, the last bit of strength in his body was exhausted. He could only pass away helplessly with endless regrets.
There were two more hungry people. They also received a fishing rod and a basket of fish as gifts from the elder. But instead of going their separate ways, they agreed to go looking for the sea together. They only cooked one fish at a time. After a long journey, they came to the seaside. From then on, the two began to fish for a living. , a few years later, they built a house, had their own families, children, built their own fishing boats, and lived a happy and healthy life.
A person who only cares about immediate interests will eventually get short-term happiness; a person has lofty goals, but he must also face the reality of life. Only by organically combining ideals and reality can we become a successful person. Sometimes, a simple truth is enough to give people meaningful life inspiration.
6. When one of Confucius' students was cooking porridge, he found something dirty falling into the pot. He quickly picked it up with a spoon, and when he was about to pour it away, he suddenly thought that both porridge and rice were hard-earned. So he ate it. / Confucius happened to walk into the kitchen, thinking that he was stealing food, so he taught the classmate who was responsible for cooking a lesson. After the explanation, everyone suddenly realized. Confucius said with emotion: "What I saw with my own eyes is not accurate, let alone what I heard from hearsay."
Enlightenment: Sales promotion business is an organizational business, because there are many people and personnel problems Also many. From time to time we hear words that are difficult to distinguish between right and wrong, such as one company attacking another company. This often confuses people and affects confidence. Therefore, find out the truth of the matter instead of easily believing in rumors, so that the career you have worked so hard to build will not be ruined.
7. A scholar came to Beijing for the third time to take the exam and stayed in a store where he often stayed. Two days before the exam, he had three dreams. The first dream was about growing cabbage on the wall. The second dream was about a rainy day. He wore a bamboo hat and held an umbrella. The third dream was about having sex with his beloved. The cousins ??took off their clothes and lay together, but back to back.
These three dreams seemed to have some profound meaning, so the scholar hurriedly went to find a fortune teller to interpret the dreams the next day. When the fortune teller heard this, he slapped his thigh and said, "You'd better go home. Think about it, isn't it a waste of effort to grow vegetables on the high wall? Isn't it unnecessary to wear a hat and hold an umbrella? I stripped naked and lay on the same bed with my cousin. , but back to back, isn’t there no chance?”
When the scholar heard this, he was disheartened and went back to the store to pack his bags and prepare to go home. The shop owner was very strange and asked: "Isn't it the exam tomorrow? Why did you go back to your hometown today?" After the scholar said this, the shop owner was happy: "Oh, I can also interpret dreams. I think, You must stay this time. Think about it, isn’t it good to grow vegetables on the wall? Doesn’t wearing a bamboo hat and holding an umbrella mean that you are prepared for anything this time? Doesn’t it mean that you are ready for anything if you take off your clothes and lie back to back on the bed? Is the time coming?"
When the scholar heard this, it made more sense, so he took the exam in high spirits and won the top prize.
Positive people are like the sun, which shines brightly wherever it shines. Negative people are like the moon, which is different on the first and fifteenth day of the lunar month. Ideas determine our lives. What kind of ideas we have, what kind of future we have.
8. One day, the zookeepers found that the kangaroo ran out of the cage, so they held a meeting to discuss and agreed that the height of the cage was too low. So they decided to increase the height of the cage from the original ten meters to twenty meters. As a result, the next day they found that the kangaroo still ran outside, so they decided to increase the height to 30 meters.
Unexpectedly, the next day they saw all the kangaroos running outside, so the administrators were very nervous and decided to increase the height of the cage to 100 meters.
One day the giraffe was chatting with a few kangaroos, "Do you think these people will continue to raise your cages?" the giraffe asked.
"It's hard to say." Kangaroo said: "If they continue to forget to close the door!"
In fact, many people are like this. They only know that there is a problem but cannot grasp the problem. Core and foundation.
9. In a small village, there was a very heavy rain, and the flood began to flood the whole village. A priest was praying in the church, and saw that the flood had reached his knees. A lifeguard drove a sampan to the church and said to the priest: "Father, come up quickly! Otherwise the flood will drown you!" The priest said: "No! I firmly believe that God will come to save me. You go first." Save others."
Soon after, the flood had reached the priest's chest, and the priest had to stand on the altar. At this time, another policeman drove over in a speedboat and said to the priest: "Father, come up quickly, otherwise you will really drown!" The priest said: "No, I want to guard my church. I believe God will He will come to save me. You'd better save others first." After a while, the flood had submerged the entire church, and the priest had to hold on to the cross at the top of the church. A helicopter flew over slowly. The pilot dropped the rope ladder and shouted: "Father, come up quickly. This is your last chance. We don't want to see you drowned in the flood!!" The priest was still determined. Said: "No, I want to keep my church! God will definitely come to save me. You'd better save others first. God will be with me!!"
Flood Rolling forward, the stubborn priest was finally drowned... The priest went to heaven. After seeing God, he asked angrily: "Lord, I have devoted myself to you all my life and served you tremblingly. Why don't you save me?" God said: "Why didn't I save you? The first time, I sent a sampan to save you, but you didn't want it. I thought you were worried about the danger of the sampan; the second time, I sent a speedboat, but you still didn't want it. ;The second time, I treated you like a state guest and sent a helicopter to rescue you, but you still refused to accept it. So, I thought you were anxious to come back to me, so you could spend time with me. . ”
In fact, too many obstacles in life are caused by excessive stubbornness and ignorance. When others lend a helping hand, don’t forget that only if we ourselves are willing to lend a hand can others be of help! ! !
10. Five-year-old Hank went to the forest to work with his parents and brothers. Suddenly it started to rain, but they only brought a poncho. Dad gave the poncho to mom, mom gave it to brother, and brother gave it to Hank. Hank asked: "Why did my father give it to my mother, my mother gave it to my brother, and my brother gave it to me?" Dad replied: "Because my father is stronger than my mother, my mother is stronger than my brother, and my brother is stronger than you. We all will Protecting the weaker ones. Hank looked around, ran over and stretched out his poncho to cover a delicate flower swaying in the wind and rain.
A real strong man may not be so strong. , or how rich he is, but how helpful he is to others. Responsibility can make us complete things, and love can make us do things well.
11. One night, it was already very late. An elderly couple walked into a hotel and asked for a room. The front desk clerk replied: "Sorry, our hotel is full and there are no rooms left. "Looking at the tired expressions of the old couple, the waiter added: "But let me think of a way..."
At this point in the narrative, do you want a mathematical continuation below, or are you willing to get one? The end of literature? But anyway, mathematics and literature will part ways here.
The story of mathematics goes like this: The kind waiter started to solve the room problem for the old couple: he woke up. For the guests who have already slept in the hotel, ask them to change places: the guests in Room 1 will be moved to Room 2, the guests in Room 2 will be moved to Room 3... and so on, until each guest has moved from his own room. The room was moved to the next room. At this time, a miracle happened: Room 1 was vacant. The waiter happily arranged for the elderly couple to move in without adding more rooms or reducing the number of guests. The rooms are full of guests - but just by asking each guest to move to the next room, the first room becomes vacant. Why is this? / It turns out that the two old people entered the famous mathematical room. Hilbert's Hotel - It was considered a hotel with countless rooms. This story was told by the great mathematician David Hilbert, who introduced the concept of "infinity" in mathematics. This concept is so important to this discipline that it is difficult to imagine how mathematics would exist without it.
Anyone who can count knows that every integer has a successor to infinity (so in the Hilbert Hotel, behind every room there will be a successor to infinity)... Mathematics is the science of infinity.
Okay, let's go back to the place where the waiter said "Let me think of a solution". The story of literature continues like this. This literary waiter should be more humane and caring. Of course, he couldn't bear to let the old couple go out and find another accommodation late at night. And in such a small town, I'm afraid other hotels have already been fully booked and closed. Wouldn't these exhausted old people live on the streets late at night? So the kind waiter led the old couple to a room and said, "Maybe it's not the best, but now I can only do this." When the old man saw that there was actually a neat and clean room in front of him, he happily Lived.
The next day, when they came to the front desk to check out, the waiter said to them: "No, because I just lent you my room for one night - I wish you a good journey." Happy!" That's it. The waiter himself didn't sleep all night, so he worked an all-night shift at the front desk. The two old men were very moved. The old man said: "Son, you are the best hotelier I have ever seen. You will be rewarded." The waiter smiled and said it was nothing. He sent the old man out, turned around and went about his own business, forgetting all about it. Unexpectedly, one day, the waiter received a letter, opened it, and found a one-way ticket to New York with a brief postscript, hiring him to do another job. He took a plane to New York and followed the route marked in the letter to a place. When he looked up, he saw a magnificent hotel standing in front of him. It turned out that late at night a few months ago, he received a billionaire and his wife. The rich man bought a big hotel for the waiter and firmly believed that he could run and manage the hotel well. This is the legendary story of the first manager of the world-famous Hilton Hotel.
Everything starts from the wise mind of a sympathetic and loving waiter: "Let me think of a solution..." Entering the field of mathematics, what is needed must be strict logic and reasonableness. Inference and precise verification; coming to the world of literature relies on beautiful human nature, touching plots and unexpected and happy endings. But did you find out: whether it is literature or mathematics, the ending is very magical - love plus wisdom can produce miracles.
12. There is a pair of brothers who live on the 80th floor. One day they came home from a trip and found that the building had a power outage! Although they were carrying large luggage, it seemed there was no other choice, so the elder brother said to the younger brother, let’s go up the stairs! So they started climbing the stairs carrying two large bags of luggage. When they climbed to the 20th floor, they began to get tired. My brother said, "The bag is too heavy. Let's leave it here. We will take the elevator to pick it up when the call comes." So, they put the baggage on the 20th floor. , much more relaxed, continue climbing up.
They climbed up while talking and laughing, but the good times did not last long. When they reached the 40th floor, they were really tired. Thinking that they were only halfway up, the two began to blame each other, accusing each other of not paying attention to the building's power outage announcement, which was why they ended up like this. They clambered and climbed all the way to the 60th floor. By the time they reached the 60th floor, they were so tired that they no longer had the energy to argue. The younger brother said to the older brother, "Let's stop arguing and finish climbing." So they continued to climb the stairs silently, and finally arrived at the 80th floor! The brothers arrived at the door of their house excitedly, only to find that their keys were left in the bag on the 20th floor...
Some people say that this story actually reflects our lives: before the age of 20, we live Under the expectations of my family and teachers, I am burdened with a lot of pressure and baggage. I am not mature enough and have insufficient abilities, so my steps are inevitably unsteady. After the age of 20, I left the pressure of everyone, took off my burden, and began to pursue my dreams with all my strength. I spent 20 years happily like this. But at the age of 40, I found that my youth was gone, and I inevitably had a lot of regrets and remorse, so I started to regret this, regret that, complain about this, hate that... I spent 20 years complaining like this. When I reached the age of 60, I realized that there was not much left in my life, so I told myself to stop complaining and just cherish the remaining days! So he spent the rest of his years in silence.
At the end of my life, I remembered that I seemed to have something unfinished... It turns out that all our dreams were left in the youthful years of 20 years old, and we had not had time to complete...
13. There is a performer Before the master came on stage, his disciple told him that his shoelaces were loose. The master nodded his thanks and knelt down to tie it carefully. After the disciple turned around, he squatted down and loosened his shoelaces. A bystander saw all this and asked puzzledly: "Master, why do you want to loosen the shoelaces again?" The master replied: "Because I play a tired traveler, and the long journey requires him to His shoelaces are loose, and this detail can express his fatigue and haggardness." "Then why don't you tell your disciple directly?" "He can carefully find that my shoelaces are loose, and tell me enthusiastically. We must protect his enthusiastic enthusiasm and encourage him in a timely manner. As for why we need to untie his shoelaces, there will be more opportunities to teach him how to perform. We can talk about it next time.”
A person can only do one thing at a time. Only those who understand the key points are the real talents.
14. A man caught a young eagle in an eagle's nest on the top of a mountain. He took the young eagle home and raised it in a chicken coop. The young eagle pecking, playing and resting with the chickens. It thinks it is a chicken. The eagle gradually grew up and its wings became full. The owner wanted to train it into a falcon, but because it hung around with chickens all day long, it became exactly like a chicken and had no desire to fly at all. The owner tried various methods, but to no avail. Finally, he took it to the top of the mountain and threw it away. The eagle fell straight down like a stone. In panic, it flapped its wings desperately, and just like that, it finally flew!
Secret: hone the power to summon success
15. There is a man named Abag living on the grasslands of Inner Mongolia. Once, the young Abag and his father lost their way on the grassland. Abag was tired and scared, and in the end he could hardly walk. Dad took out 5 coins from his pocket, buried one coin in the grass, put the other 4 coins in Abag's hand, and said: "There are 5 gold coins in life, childhood, youth, youth, middle age." , old age each have one. You have just used one now, the one buried in the grass. You can't throw all 5 of them in the grass. You have to use them little by little, and make a difference every time. Only in this way can our life be lived in vain. Today we must step out of the grassland, and you must step out of the grassland in the future. The world is a big place, and when you are alive, you should go to more places and see more, and don't throw away your gold coins if they are useless. "With the encouragement of his father, Abag walked out of the grassland that day. When he grew up, Abag left his hometown and became an excellent captain.
Secret: Cherish life and you can get out of the swamp of frustration.
16. There are two brothers, only four or five years old. Since the bedroom windows are closed all day long, they think the room is too dark. When they see the bright sunshine outside, they feel very envious. The two brothers discussed, "We can sweep in a little sunshine from the outside together." So, the two brothers took a broom and dustpan to the balcony to sweep up the sunshine. By the time they moved the dustpan into the room, there was no sunlight inside. I scanned it again and again many times, but there was still no sunlight at all in the house. The mother who was busy in the kitchen saw their strange behavior and asked: "What are you doing?" They replied: "The room is too dark, we need to bring in some sunlight." The mother smiled: "Just open the window and let the sunlight in." It will come in naturally, so why bother to sweep it?”
Secret: Open the closed door of your heart, and the sunshine of success can dispel the darkness of failure.
17. After the rain, a spider struggled to crawl toward the broken web on the wall. Because the wall was damp, it would fall when it climbed to a certain height. It climbed up again and again, It fell again and again... The first person saw it. He sighed and said to himself: "Isn't my life just like this spider? I am busy but gain nothing." So, he became increasingly depressed. . The second person saw it and said: This spider is so stupid. Why not climb up from a dry place next to it? I can't be as stupid as it is in the future. So he became smarter. The third person saw it, and he was immediately moved by the spider's spirit of fighting against defeat. So he became strong.
Secret: Those with a successful mentality can find the power of success everywhere.
18. Someone was hiding from the rain under the eaves and saw Guanyin walking by holding an umbrella.
The man said: "Guanyin Bodhisattva, please save all sentient beings. How about taking me with you?"
Guanyin said: "I am in the rain, you are under the eaves, and there is no rain under the eaves, you don't need me." Save me." The man immediately jumped out of the eaves and stood in the rain: "Now I am also in the rain, is it time to save me?" Guanyin said: "You are in the rain, and I am also in the rain. I am not getting wet because I have an umbrella. "You are caught in the rain because you don't have an umbrella. So it's not me who saves you, but the umbrella that saves me. If you want to save me, please go find an umbrella yourself!" After that, he left.
The next day, the man encountered difficulties and went to the temple to pray for Guanyin. When I walked into the temple, I found that there was also a man worshiping in front of the statue of Guanyin. That man looked exactly like Guanyin, no difference at all.
The man asked: "Are you Guanyin?"
The man replied: "I am Guanyin."
The man asked again: " Then why do you still worship yourself?"
Guanyin smiled and said: "I have also encountered difficulties, but I know that it is better to seek help from others than to seek help from yourself."
Secret: Successful people help themselves.
19. An old man accidentally dropped one of the new shoes he just bought from the window on a high-speed train. The people around him felt very sorry. Unexpectedly, the old man immediately dropped the second shoe from the window. The window was thrown down. This move was even more surprising. The old man explained: "No matter how expensive this shoe is, it is of no use to me. If anyone can pick up a pair of shoes, maybe he can still wear them!"
Secret: Success Those who are good at giving up
20. A large company is going to hire a car driver with a high salary. After layers of screening and examinations, only three competitors with the best skills are left. The examiner asked them: "There is a nugget of gold on the edge of the cliff. You drive your car to get it. How close do you think you can get to the cliff without falling?"
"Two meters." No. 1 explain.
"Half a meter." The second person said confidently.
"I will try to stay as far away from the cliff as possible," said a third.
As a result, this company admitted the third person.
Tip: Don’t fight temptation, but stay as far away as possible.
21. Lao Tzu, the great ancient Chinese philosopher, called his disciples to the bedside one day. He opened his mouth and pointed inside his mouth with his finger, and then asked his disciples what they saw? None of the disciples present could answer.
So Lao Tzu said to them: "The teeth are gone, but the tongue is still there." This means: the teeth must be hard but their lifespan is not long; the tongue must be soft, but their vitality is stronger.
22. Tang Bohu, a talented man from the south of the Yangtze River, met Qiuxiang who came to offer incense in a temple in the south of the Yangtze River. He fell in love at first sight and fell in love with her. For this reason, he followed Qiuxiang all the way to the Taishi Mansion, and tried every means to sneak into the mansion as a study boy, and got the opportunity to contact Qiuxiang. Later, he contacted Qiuxiang many times in the mansion and expressed his feelings, but Qiuxiang rejected him. Once, Qiuxiang was locked into the firewood shed, but Tang Bohu was not discouraged and invited his friend Zhu Zhishan to help. Under his friend's guidance, he won a good opportunity for Qiuxiang to get married. At this point, the dream of a talented man from Jiangnan came true. The only bad thing was that Tang Bohu sneaked away from the Taishi Mansion after getting married and left without saying goodbye, which seemed not very shameful. However, this was also his best choice at the time.
Enlightenment: 1. The goal must be clear; 2. The measures to achieve the goal must be effective; 3. You must fight against repeated failures and ask for help from experts when appropriate, after all, sometimes it is clear to the bystanders; 4. Complete the goal and the dream will come true. After all, you can change jobs at the right time and leave when you need to.
23. The old monk and the young monk were traveling and met a river on the way. He saw a woman who was about to cross the river, but she didn't dare to cross. The old monk took the initiative to carry the woman across the river, then put the woman down and continued on the road with the young monk. The little monk couldn't help muttering all the way: What's wrong with Master? How dare you carry a woman across the river? Walking and thinking all the way, I finally couldn't bear it anymore and said: Master, have you violated the precepts? Why did you carry a woman on your back? The old monk sighed: I have given up long ago, but you still can't let go!
Enlightenment: A gentleman is magnanimous, but a villain is always worried; he is broad-minded, open-minded, and able to take things on and let them go when encountering difficulties, so that he can always maintain a healthy mentality.
25. A psychology professor visited a lunatic asylum to learn about the living conditions of lunatics. At the end of the day, I felt that these people were crazy and acted unexpectedly, which was an eye-opener. Unexpectedly, when I was about to return, I found that my tire had been removed.
"Some lunatic must have done it!" the professor thought angrily, getting the spare tire ready to install. Things are serious. The person who took off the tire actually removed all the screws. There’s no way to get in without screws and even a spare tire! The professor was at a loss. When he was extremely anxious, a madman jumped over and sang an unknown happy song. He spotted the professor in distress, stopped and asked what was going on.
The professor was too lazy to ignore him, but told him anyway out of politeness.
The madman laughed and said: "I have a way!" He removed a screw from each tire, so that he got three screws to install the spare tire.
The professor was surprised and grateful, and was very curious: "How did you come up with this method?" The madman laughed happily: "I am a madman, but I am not an idiot!"
In fact, there are many people in the world who, because they have discovered the joy of work, will always show enthusiasm that is different from ordinary people, which is difficult for people to understand. While many people are laughing at them as lunatics, others may still be laughing at them as idiots. Being dull and clever in doing things is a good attitude especially in China.
- Previous article:Jokes about God
- Next article:Why do many people in China like watching American dramas, but Americans don't like watching China dramas?
- Related articles
- As a Shandong native, what do you think of the grudges between Zhu Zhiwen and his fellow villagers?
- Is it because of the ugly handwriting that Brother Tai was laughed at for writing Spring Festival couplets?
- Why is the movie My Girlhood so popular?
- A woman’s lung was punctured by acupuncture because she was too thin. Is there any scientific basis for acupuncture?
- Explanation of smirk
- The funny joke in the exam is a jingle.
- What are the lines of all the heroes in the glory of the king?
- The best answer to an open-book useful debate (no more than 50 words)
- Classic short sentences praising men
- What do you think of advocating equality between men and women, but being "you go to have children"?