Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Talk big Zhuge Liang borrows Dongfeng's composition
Talk big Zhuge Liang borrows Dongfeng's composition
1 article boasted that Zhuge Liang borrowed 500 words from Dongfeng, saying that Zhou Yu Huang Gai took risks. After Pang Tong offered to let Cao Cao take over the boat, it can be said that he had everything except Dongfeng, so Zhuge Liang volunteered to borrow Dongfeng.
In order to borrow the east wind, Zhou Yu had to build a seven-star platform to let Zhuge Liang borrow the east wind.
On the third night, Zhuge Liang on the seven-star platform hesitated. Dongfeng doesn't know how to borrow it, for fear of being laughed at by Zhou Yu. He regretted that he had said he wanted to borrow the east wind. Suddenly, a white lightning struck Zhuge Liang, and Zhuge Liang disappeared, but the people under the Seven Stars didn't realize it. An hour later, there was another flash of lightning, and Zhuge Liang came out of the smoke. He was the only one who came out, but he had an extra instrument.
After he came back, the east wind really appeared and defeated Cao Cao.
Want to know what happened after Zhuge Liang was struck by lightning? Then please wait for Zhuge Liang to come to the 22 nd century.
In the second chapter, Zhuge Liang said that Cao Cao's 800,000 troops went south to station troops in Chibi, and there were still many big ships linked by chains to cross the Yangtze River to crusade against Wu.
Under the account of Wu Jun in Jiangdong, Zhou Zheng, the governor, negotiated with Zhuge Liang to break Cao Zhi's plan. After some deliberation, the two men happen to coincide, and at the same time, they unveiled the strategy of "fire attack"
The viceroy Zhou Yu couldn't help looking out of the account. It was the middle of winter, only the northwest wind was blowing, not a trace of east wind! Seeing this, Zhou Yu vomited a few mouthfuls of blood and fainted.
Zhou Yu couldn't afford to be ill, so he entrusted Zhuge Liang to train the water army instead of him to resist Cao Jun. Zhuge Liang opened his notebook and wanted to borrow the east wind. I saw Zhuge Liang click the mouse and enter the "website". In an instant, a star cloud picture popped up. Zhuge Liang glanced at it, closed his notebook, gently shook the feather fan and said mysteriously to Zhou Yu, "I promise to lend you the southeast wind within three days." Hearing this, Zhou Yu immediately jumped out of bed and recovered. He personally prepared more than 30 fireboats full of dry wood, waiting for Zhuge Liang's east wind. (article reading network: www.sanwen.net)
Zhuge Liang spent three days in the state of Wu, and then boarded the seven-star altar built for him by Zhou Yu. I saw him wearing a seven-star robe, wearing a purple and gold crown, standing on his feet, holding wood blade and begging for the east wind on the altar. Soon, the clear sky was covered with dark clouds, lightning and thunder, it rained cats and dogs, and there was a strong wind. After a while, the rain stopped and a warm wind blew. The East Net is coming, and Zhuge Liang can't wait to tell Zhou Yu with his mobile phone: "The east wind has arrived, so we can attack." Zhou Yu immediately led the soldiers of the three armed forces to pounce on Cao Jun's water village in Jiangbei.
Just then, a cold current went south and a naughty north wind came. Tens of thousands of Wu Jun soldiers died in flames, and Zhou Yu was not spared.
Zhuge Liang stood on the top of the mountain and witnessed the tragedy. He sighed, "There are fake balls on the court, fakes in the shops, and even fake nebula maps. Heaven will destroy me. " As soon as the words were finished, the fire hit the heart and died.
Cao Cao broke Wu Jun, breached the Yangtze River defense line, annexed Wu and Shu, and became the overlord of the world.
Chapter 3 Zhuge Liang borrowed an arrow to turn 400 words. Everyone has heard that Zhuge Liang borrowed an arrow. Today, I will say that Zhuge Liang borrowed an arrow to make a new biography.
Zhuge Liang came back with an arrow, and Zhou Yu was very angry. Suddenly, there was a storm, lightning and thunder, and a flash of lightning hit a ship full of arrows. The ship sank and lost ten thousand arrows. Zhou Yu was overjoyed, and Zhuge Liang quickly said to Zhou Yu, "Please give me some more time. This time it was an accident. " Zhou Yu thought, "Zhuge Liang borrowed an arrow from Cao Cao, and Cao Cao was fooled. He can't be fooled any more. " So Zhou Yu gave Zhuge Liang time for three toons. Zhuge Liang came up with another plan. He tore his clothes, then took a plate of tomatoes, sprinkled them on the torn place, and took a boat to Cao Ying. When he arrived in Cao Ying, Zhuge Liang said, "The Prime Minister and Zhou Yu don't believe that I am smarter than him. Look, he beat me up and kicked me out. I have no choice but to come to you. " Cao Cao loved talents and took him in. Zhuge Liang said, "Lend me 10,000 arrows and 500 bows first, and I will destroy Zhou Yu's army." Cao Cao was so happy that he lent him ten thousand arrows and five hundred bows. Zhuge Liang was overjoyed and quickly took the arrow and bow back. Later, Cao Cao learned that he had been cheated by Zhuge Liang and was so angry that he vomited blood.
I helped Zhuge Liang "borrow the arrow of the straw boat". Zhuge Liang borrowed the arrow of the straw boat, but I can't forget my nobody! You know, Zhuge Liang would have been burned beyond recognition without me at that time.
That day, after Zhuge Liang borrowed twenty boats from Lu Su, he secretly asked someone to invite me and said to me, "Brother, I invited you here this time because I want you to help me." Then Zhuge Liang and I bit our ears. "Oh, oh ..."
Just as Zhuge Liang was about to borrow an arrow, I disguised myself as Cao Bing and sneaked into Cao Ying.
"Hey, bro? Are you ready? I'm coming-"just hung up the phone, there was a deafening drum outside. "Here comes the opportunity!" I am secretly happy. When I got to Shuizhai, the soldiers were all ready to launch rockets at Zhuge Liang. At this critical moment, I strode to Cao Cao. "Big king, good. Zhuge Liang's ship is full of SRE explosives, which are quite powerful. Once detonated, it will definitely endanger us! " Hearing this, Cao Cao turned pale with fear and immediately ordered: "All soldiers immediately cancel the rockets and shoot ordinary arrows instead!" At the command, the 100-meter-long salamander suddenly lost its vitality and was replaced by a clanking iron dragon.
"launch!" Countless arrows shot at the river. Cao Cao thought there would be screams coming from the river, but Zhuge Liang was very disappointed. The drums on the river are getting smaller and smaller, and soon there is no sound. Cao Cao shouted that he had been cheated, but it was no use regretting. Zhuge Liang has already fled far away.
"Ha, ha, ha, that cao cao is really an idiot. It's beyond my expectation that he was fooled so easily! " Zhuge Liang laughed while drinking. "Without me, you would have died," I said. "Yes, it's still the younger brother's contribution!" Ha ha laugh ...
Article 5 Zhuge Liang didn't borrow a hundred thousand arrows. Zhou Yu was lying in the hospital bed, while Kong Ming went to visit the sick. Zhou Yu said: "People are in danger and cannot protect themselves." Kong Ming said with a smile, "There are unexpected clouds in the sky and unexpected clouds in people." As he spoke, Kong Ming wrote down the prescription: "If you want to break Cao Gong, you can use firepower, and everything is ready except the east wind." Kong Ming said that he would build a seven-star platform himself.
On the same day, Kong Ming came to power with a seven-star sword. In a short time, as expected, the east wind was blowing hard, dark clouds were gathering, and a flash of lightning struck the seven-star sword. Kong Ming was suddenly electrified, and in the blink of an eye, kung fu arrived out of thin air, which was a mess.
It turned out that lightning was a "lightning T6" time shuttle in the wrong era, which just took Kong Ming away. Let's see what's going on with Kong Ming first.
As soon as the space shuttle landed, Kong Ming was dumbfounded. Planes are flying in the air and there are tall buildings everywhere. However, Kong Ming quickly adapted to 2080. He quickly found a hotel to stay in and found two clothes to find a job instead of him.
He went to two companies successively, neither of which was suitable for him. So he entered a company called "Lightning", which was to Kong Ming's liking. It turns out that this company is the first time shuttle manufacturer in the world. The "T6" model that he used to ride on is the best model designed by this company.
When the chairman came out, he saw that Kong Ming was very talented and gave him the position of manager. Kong Ming worked hard as a manager and was soon promoted to president.
After a while, Kong Ming didn't want to stay here, so he chose a person with management ability to replace him. And I took the new shuttle back to the Three Kingdoms period.
- Previous article:Winter composition
- Next article:Give a few short jokes or stories, which are deceptive and funny, and they are all very short.
- Related articles
- "After the #department's outstanding employees failed to be selected..."
- Will China find that Guoan won the championship? Isn't this a big joke?
- Who has a joke?
- Father and son solve riddles on the lanterns: Beat a tableware.
- What do you mean by cooking wine with thick oil and burning high? (This is the plaque hanging on the wall of Gray Laofan's house starring Fan Wei)
- Comfort and care about your wife's news.
- What do you think of cat lovers?
- What do you mean by Shanghai people's exclusion?
- What's the joke told by American experts?
- Tell a joke ... a funny one is enough.