Seek double reed or cross talk jokes

Campus version of comic dialogue "Selling Tickets"

Adapted from the horse version of selling tickets, it incorporates many modern elements.

I am a musician. Do you know me?

B: Please forgive me.

Of course, I can't blame you, because I'm usually not in China.

B: Oh.

I usually stay abroad.

B: Really?

A: Alas. People like me must be summoned ... China artists.

B: Oh. Then what do you sing?

A: Me?

B: Ah.

Me, tenor.

B: Oh, tenor?

A: Well, does the tenor know?

A little.

A: That ... that ... Who Pam do you know?

B: ... Pam?

A: That's the big fat guy with a moustache abroad.

Oh, Pavarotti?

Oh, right, right, right, Pavarotti, you know what?

B: Yes!

A: Alas, we are all together!

Oh, with Pavarotti? !

A: That, that, who, Xiao Duo, do you know?

B: How much is it?

He is quite tall. He often sings with Pam.

B: Domingo?

Oh, yes, yes, Domingo, we are here together!

B: Really?

Who's that ... cam ...

B: Alas, alas, I said, can you name all the names?

A: No, we all know each other too well. We usually call them Pa, the duo and Cam. ...

Oh, carreras?

Oh, right, right, right, carreras, we often eat, chat and sauna together here. ...

Wow, we are still in the sauna together.

A: Mainly performing together.

Oh, where have you all performed?

Wow, there are so many places.

Where are they?

Do you know that there is a golden hall in Austria?

I know. Wow! Song Zu Ying sang there!

Ok, let's perform together in the Golden Hall.

B: Really?

There is a Sydney Opera House in Australia, do you know?

B: Yes! Song Zu Ying sang there!

Let's perform together at the Sydney Opera House.

Oh!

Do you know there is a KFC concert hall in America?

B: KFC? Oh, by the way, where is Song Zu Ying? ...

A: Yes!

B: Yes!

Have you eaten? That's more like it! KFC, it is the temple of music! You are a stick. How can this be understood? !

B: Just wait and see! Me or you?

A: What's the matter?

B: KFC concert hall?

A: Huh?

B: It's called Carnegie Hall!

A: Carnegie?

KFC, that's fast food!

A: ... Oh ... Yes, yes, Carnegie. Haven't you been there? There is a KFC next to Carnegie.

B: Really?

Well, where do we often perform?

B: ... Then why are you back in China now?

A: Well, I didn't ask for it.

B: Oh.

A: This is it, the Ministry of Culture in China. Please write and invite me back.

B: Oh, is it from the Ministry of Culture?

You see, minister, he wrote to me personally and invited me back ... two performances.

B: Really?

No, I still have this letter.

Oh, do you still have it?

A: I'll read it to you. ..... "Dear Mr. Potato Ma" ...

Well, wait a minute.

A: What's the matter?

Who is this potato?

A: Me!

B: Ah, have you been ordering potatoes for a long time?

A: Ah. What happened?

Potatoes ... aren't they potatoes?

A: You don't understand. My original name is not potato.

B: Really?

A: My name is Ma Xx, and I am a TV fan. People of our culture have words and numbers, you know?

B: Yes.

A: Bell potato means listening to my voice is like metal. "Listen to the genus."

B: Oh, such a "subordinate".

A: Alas, "Dear Mr. Potato, your husband has lived overseas for a long time, and his career is in full swing, and his reputation is shocking. Foreigners' eyes are turning. "

What are these words?

A: "However, when you left this country, the people of the motherland never had the privilege of hearing Mr. Jin Shengyu's voice and witnessing his elegant gesture. I hope Mr. Wang Can will return to China as soon as possible to perform for the people of the motherland. At that time, the people will be empty, the country will be lost, and everyone will be intoxicated. "

B: Ah, that's the word? !

What's wrong with this word? I won't come back until I finish this word!

Wow.

A: As soon as I received this warm letter from the Minister of Culture, I left for home.

B: that's fast enough.

A: A few days after I came back, poly theatre contacted me and invited me to perform there.

B: Wow, poly theatre, it's quite big.

A: I was invited to give a solo concert.

Oh, sing a song. So what are you going to sing?

A: What track?

B: Huh?

A: I will give a special performance of Italian songs.

B: Italian songs.

Have you ever heard of it?

I have heard several songs.

I usually sing Italian songs.

B: What songs are there?

A: I want to hit my sun at first.

Wow, that's a high note.

A: Well, that's what I like to sing.

B: Anything else?

A: Oh, and then I'll sing another song, that, that, sing … sing what … what belly … what belly?

B: Huh? Navel?

No, it's called Sang, Sang ... What's Sonya again?

B: Saint Lucia!

Yes, Saint Lucia!

Well, I can't even remember the title of the song.

A: No, I mainly remember the name of this Italian song. I don't know how to translate it

B: Oh.

A: In short, more than a dozen Italian folk songs.

B: That's quite a lot.

This is a good arrangement.

B: Yes.

A: Three days before the performance, the manager of this poly theatre called me.

B: What's the matter?

A: I was eating mutton kebabs at the intersection when the phone rang. I replied, "Hey, hey ..."

The signal is not good

A: Well, this is not the advantage of PHS.

Um ... huh? PHS?

A: I didn't hear you clearly until I ran into the street. "Is that Mr. Ma?" "It's me." "Oh, Mr Ma, I'm from poly theatre. Sorry, I have something to discuss with you. " I said, "What is it?" "Your performance in two days ... can you push it back?"

What did you do?

Yes, I also want to know. "That, Sun Nan, you know? I will also sing in our theater. His schedule is full, which coincides with your day. Do you think we should let him sing first? You can put it off for a week ... "

B: Oh.

A: I dropped my phone before he finished!

Oh!

A: I picked it up after I fell.

Hello!

A: What the hell? Let me put it off for a week, it's not nonsense!

B: Alas.

A: Most people have made way for me since childhood. How can I make way for others?

B: Oh.

A: Besides, what does this Sun Nan do?

Pop star.

Why should I let him go? !

B: That's right.

A: With or without him, I'm throwing caution to the wind today!

Are you desperate or something?

What do you want to do? Paulie wants to sing. Let him sing, and I'll change places!

B: Where should I change it?

A: The National Grand Theatre!

Wow, the biggest one!

A: Well, you want the biggest one! The audience is still quite large.

B: That's right.

A: Life is still the same. I want to compete with him!

You should vent your anger.

A: Look at the ticket price over there, I'm going to surpass him!

How much money does he have?

A: I asked, the highest fare is 1000 yuan. Hehe, I want to walk higher than him!

B: How much do you sell here?

A: How much is it? One thousand and one yuan!

B: Huh? What is the difference?

A: It's not about money. This is called not steaming steamed bread to fight for breath!

B: That's right!

A: Listen to his propaganda. My propaganda here is more energetic. I have to beat him!

B: That's right!

A: On the day of the performance, the performance started at seven o'clock in the evening, and after five o'clock in the afternoon, I started running from home to the theater. Get dressed first, find a military coat, and then put on sunglasses.

B: Huh? Why are you dressed like this?

A: What's the matter?

B: Don't you have to wear a suit and tie or a tuxedo to sing Italian songs?

A: You don't understand. I'm a big star. I can't go out dressed like that. I have to make up. I can't stand being recognized, signed and photographed!

Oh, this is cosmetics.

Well, get dressed, go downstairs, go into the garage, push the bike out and squeeze it. ...

B: Alas, alas, what are you doing?

A: Push the bike.

B: Huh? ! Bicycle? Are you going to perform by bike?

A: What's the matter? Flying pigeon's

Not even permanent. Driving to find a big star like you!

I don't like driving. I'm not without it, not without it!

B: There is a car.

A: Yes! My cars are all lengthened and all have four doors.

Oh, four doors. What brand?

Um ... sail? (Author's Note: Li Xia is OK! )

B: Huh? I haven't heard that Sail has four doors!

A: Never mind the brand. I don't like driving. I just like riding a bike and exercising. Singing is a vital capacity, riding a bike is a good way to practice vital capacity, and it will be high time to sing.

B: Oh, I'm practicing my vital capacity.

A: Alas. Ride from Daxing at five o'clock.

Oh, living in Daxing.

A: Take the bus to the National Grand Theatre at 6: 30.

Oh, an hour and a half. How fast should I ride? !

I often ride a bike. I often ride horses.

Are you singing or delivering newspapers? !

There are people watching bicycles at the door. Ride in, stop the car, take out the key and lock it, and then lock it with the Strafe lock.

Well, I'm afraid of losing my car.

I went to the theater after I finished. Just after going out, I was called back by the old lady who was looking at the bike.

B: Why?

I haven't paid you yet.

B: It's so fresh.

A: I explained to the old lady, "I am performing here today."

Hmm.

A: The old lady said, "We don't care whether you perform or not. The fare is 30 cents. "

B: Hey, hey.

This old lady is really stingy. "No, this is 50 cents, and there are 20 cents left."

B: Huh? You are such a big star, and you still care about others for 20 cents.

Who told him to argue with me?

B: That's right.

A: I didn't go backstage first. I'll go to the theater gate first.

what are you reading?

A: See if the audience is enthusiastic.

B: Oh.

A: Oh, there are so many people in front of the theater, and everyone in the middle of nowhere is surrounded!

B: Watch the fun!

A: There are the most people at the ticket office. There is a small sign in the window, "Tickets are sold out."

B: Wow, the National Grand Theatre has 2000 seats, and all the tickets are sold out. What a great blow!

A: That man outside won't do it. Some people are waiting for a refund, others are asking exorbitant prices, and most people are crowded in the window and yelling at the conductor.

What are you yelling about?

A: "conductor, conductor, let's buy station tickets!" " Let's buy station tickets! "

B: Huh? I haven't heard of buying station tickets.

A: The audience really liked art. After discussing it for a while, I agreed to the audience's request and sold another 1000 station tickets.

B: Wow!

Others are unhappy. "What shall we do? What should we do? ! No, we have to go in, too Can we buy squat tickets? "

B: Ah, squatting? How to squat?

A: That is, two people squat for a while and two people squat for a while to listen.

B: Wow!

A: Here is a question. Supposedly, the tickets are no longer sold, but the audience is so enthusiastic. What if you don't sell it? Forget it, in line with the overriding principle of stability, sell! Another thousand prison tickets were sold.

Oh!

A: There are 1000 people inside and more than 2,000 people outside.

Why are there so many people?

A: This is the charm of art!

It's fascinating!

A: The crowd outside was so excited that they almost rebelled. They rushed in and shouted, "We're going in, we're going in!"

B: Look at this battle.

The manager was frightened. He kept apologizing to everyone. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm really sorry. The capacity of the theater is really limited. Can you come next time? " The audience did nothing, "No, no! We buy tickets! "

Vote?

A: Just lie under your seat and listen.

B: How did you work it out?

A: The manager said, "Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, this chair is different now. These lines are fixed. Moreover, the tickets for sitting, standing and squatting are sold out, and there is really no place to lie. "

B: Yes.

A: to say that the audience still has a way, someone said, "well, let's ... let's buy a hug ticket!" "

B: ah, how to get the ticket?

Answer: "Let the ticket buyers hold us and listen!"

B: Wow!

A: The manager said, "Whether your idea is good or not depends on whether the people sitting there are happy or not. If you were a little girl, you would be like this big brother. Boy, you weigh more than 400 kilograms, and you can't die sitting there! "

Hello.

A: The audience shouted, "We'll give you double money!" The manager didn't know what to do, so he said, "I'll ask for you." We walked into the theater and made a mobilization to learn from Lei Feng's friendship and mutual assistance. Finally, everyone sitting there agreed to go in, sitting with a heavy heart and listening with a relaxed mood.

B: Watch the fun!

A: More than 2,000 people went in again, and there were 170 people left at the door! Wow, this 170 people are so anxious that they cry, "God, how can we be so unlucky!" Can't listen to potatoes, are we still alive? ! "While crying, take off your waistband and prepare for collective suicide!

B: Oh, as for it!

The manager was frightened. If it wants to kill people, how can it?

B: That's right.

A: The manager's brain works very fast. When he saw the belt, he had an idea.

What idea?

A: "Hey, don't cry yet. You can come in, too Take your belts and come with me after buying tickets. "

B: Huh? Then how to arrange it?

A: "The theater can't go up or down. Just hang the belt on the railing on the second floor and listen! "

B: Hey!

A: 170 people stopped crying and followed the manager. Wow, I am so happy! Look at the watch, it will start in five minutes, backstage!

Hmm.

A: Go backstage, take off your military coat and sunglasses and get ready to go on stage.

B: Hey.

Wow, the theater is really lively. There are 2000 people sitting, 2000 people holding, 1000 people standing, 1000 people squatting. There are more than 6000 people hanging outside 170. It seems that the air conditioner is turned on. The security guard stepped on his shoulder to keep order.

This is a theater. If it isn't Spring Festival travel rush catching a train!

A: At seven o'clock, the theater lights dim and subtitles are displayed on the big screen. Please stop making noise and turn off your cell phone.

B: Here we go.

A: At 7: 05, the performance officially started. The announcer took the stage to announce the curtain call. "Let's welcome the famous singer Potato who returned from overseas to sing" My Sun "for everyone."

B: It's time to play.

A: Just after the announcer finished, there was a sensation under the stage!

B: Really?

A: As soon as I came out, I heard thunderous applause below!

Oh, look.

A: There are light sticks at the bottom, and some hold signs. This one says, "We all love potatoes!" That only said, "potato, potato, I love you!" " ! "

B: Wow!

A: The audience is so enthusiastic! The audience is so cute!

B: That's right.

A: I want to dedicate my best art to the audience!

B: That's right!

I sing, sing my sun! 》

B: Sing.

Answer: (hands folded, focused and calm) "Come out if you have lanterns! There is no lantern to hold the child! ..... "(Ma's Spring Festival song)

B: Huh?

A: Just after singing this sentence, I heard "Wow ..."

B: Listen to this!

A: Everyone's gone!

B: Huh?

A: I scolded the street and refunded my ticket!

B: Yes!

I guess I'm in a hurry. "What a suck you go! You don't understand high art, I call it high and low! The goods are sold at home! "

B: That's right!

A: There are really 170 people who haven't left!

I love listening to this!

A: I can't walk upstairs!

B: You can't leave? !