Crosstalk funny lines

Lead: watching some funny lines of cross talk can bring infinite joy. The following are the funny lines of cross talk I compiled for your reference, hoping to bring you help.

Crosstalk funny lines 1: The performer of "Bragging and Talking New Words"? Liu * *? Cao *

enter the field

A: Thank you, thank you. Look, I'm on stage Everyone applauded for me. Thank you.

B: Sigh, sigh, sigh, let me give you a hand. We got on the stage together. This is our hand.

Really? Oh, you followed up.

B: Look at what you said. I'm not coming up, just you. Is it okay?

Oh, right, right, right. I have to stand next to me as a foil to show my high level

B: What do you mean by foil? I intend to cooperate with you. We are partners.

Okay, yes, what are you again?

Go, go, I'm not a thing. Oh, no, I'm a thing. Fuck you.

Oh, yes, you are nothing. I mean, what is your name?

Yes, my name is Cao * * and I'm from * * *

A: All right, comrades, let me introduce you: This is my partner, Mr. Cao. Welcome (shaking hands with Cao).

B: You're welcome. Why don't you introduce yourself?

A: I am embarrassed to say this.

What are you embarrassed about? Let's go

A: Well, to tell you the truth, I am the legend: Yushu is facing the wind, tall and powerful, everyone loves it, and cars see cars. Beauty and wisdom coexist, and hero and narrow sense are incarnations. Liu * *, a legend in domestic phonology, thank you.

B: That's really cool. You, just you? Well, my friend, I want to tell you a secret. Yesterday, I dreamed of God. God says I can grant you one wish. Just say it. Then I said, I want to turn all the deserts in the world into oases. God shook his head and said, it's too difficult. Why not change it? If I say so, I can make my partner Liu * * more handsome. God frowned and said, I still am.

Fuck you, am I that cold?

B: I'm kidding, but your bragging skills are really good.

A: Oh, to tell you the truth, today is actually my first appearance since I won the 80kg bragging contest.

B: Wait a minute. There's a contest here, and there's a score?

A: You don't understand this. Bragging includes not only competitions, but also professional title evaluation and grade evaluation. Do you know what I did that day?

I don't know

A: I went to Incheon and the Asian Games Organizing Committee. I demand that bragging be added to the next Asian Games.

And the result?

They kicked me out.

B: Yes! You are so thick-skinned.

A: Well, I'm not bragging to you. We have the cheek. That's when the wall turns and the earth turns.

B: It's still blowing. Why don't you teach me with all the people, old and young, today? How about we play a game?

A: What about you? Is it okay?

B: Try it.

A: I wonder if the audience would like to listen (pause). If anyone wants to listen, blow it!

B: Blow it!

A: Blow first.

What do you mean by boasting?

A: Just try to praise yourself.

B: ok, I'll blow if you blow.

I am the best.

I have nothing to eat.

Of course, son, I'm coming.

B: Come on.

A: I ate eight steamed buns, six steamed buns and four bowls of porridge the morning before yesterday, and I was hungry in less than two hours.

B: I went to eat hot pot the night before yesterday. I drove a cow and two sheep there, but I didn't have enough to eat alone.

Boy, you are strong enough.

B: Don't you just blow?

The food I eat is very expensive. A few days ago in the hotel, I ate more than 20 puffer fish alone and spent more than 6000 yuan.

The food I eat is also very expensive. I went abroad to eat a puffer fish the other day. It turned out to be poisonous. It took three days to come back after being rescued, and it cost more than ten thousand yuan.

Are you OK

B: That's all right. I'm completely immune now.

A: I can drink.

I am an alcoholic.

A: Just the night before yesterday, I drank two tempting pieces of bread by myself, and then drove to the kiln to take a bath all night. I didn't come back until yesterday morning. Oh, it's so comfortable.

B: You drink and drive. Do you think your father is Li Gang?

A: Nothing. I have a good relationship with a big star. I can talk to her if you need anything.

B: Who is it?

A: Sister Feng!

Hello! I haven't been feeling well these two days. I went to the winery the day before yesterday and slept in their wine pool. Drinking all the wine in the wine pool in the middle of the night is really not enough. Everybody, did anyone bring wine? I want some more.

A: Well, be careful not to cause regional disputes.

B: Come on.

I had a fever last night.

B: Take a bath.

Yes, it's burning badly. The whole room is steaming. Then it really got hot. I ran around the yard and heard someone shouting, alas, this winter has passed and summer has come too fast.

I also had a fever last night. The one I cooked tastes terrible. Finally, the wife cooks on her stomach and cooks on her back. Finally, she fried two poached eggs on her ass.

Have you eaten?

B: I didn't eat. Finally delivered to your home.

Fuck you. Then we have to find another way. Let's blow it the other way around.

B: how to blow back?

A: It is to praise yourself with other people's mouths.

Sure, you go first.

By the way, have you met Liu? Where is Liu * *? Why didn't Liu come today?

Hello? Then who are you?

A: I, I don't know you. I am Xiao Cao.

You are Cao * *, then who am I?

You, alas, aren't you the famous Liu? Alas, nice to meet you.

B: Hehe, here we are. No, no, I'm not as famous as Cao.

A: You're welcome. You are in a city, which is known to all women and children.

B: No, you Cao * * are in Zhoukou area, and you are the idol of middle-aged and elderly women.

A: No matter how good I am, I am not as good as you. You have a good personality, noble style, good looks and good looks.

B: No matter how good I am, I am not as good as you. You are handsome, charming, loved by everyone and blooming everywhere.

Your cross talk is really international. I heard that even CCTV has invited you several times.

B: Your cross talk is really unique. I heard that even the kindergarten asked to know your cross talk.

A: No. I Cao * * This is really plain. There are no crops in the depression.

I can't. I'm Liu. That's true. No matter how high it is, it is not as high as Cao Gao.

A: Hehe, my wife is amazing. I took her to the street. I'm in the front and she's in the back. People say: wolves are like women, and foxes are fake.

B: Hehe, I'm too old. I took my wife to the street. I'm in the front and she's in the back. People say: the story of iron boy and jade girl, Dong Zhuo and Diusim.

A: I, Cao, have watched people take a bath since I was a child.

B: I can be a gangster at the age of three.

A: I have never given anyone money for dinner.

B: I'm Liu * *, and I want two pieces of steel when I arrive.

A: Well, I see we are standing together. That's really: "ten eggs hatch chickens, but only eight."

B: What's wrong?

Two bad guys

Hey, you're the bad guy.

A: All right, comrades and friends, now is the most intense stage of the competition: free play.

B: how to blow freely?

A: Just blow! I am a very capable person, and I am not afraid of the world. I took a bath in the crocodile pool and pulled out my teeth in the tiger's mouth.

B: I'm a good man. I am good at all walks of life. I slept with wolves. I dare to jump from 18 floor.

A: I didn't fall to death.

B: I jumped to the seventeenth floor, hehe.

A: I have foresight and dare to do any project. I want to paint the earth red and install air conditioners in the universe.

I am very ambitious. I dare to do anything. I want to reverse the plane, and mosquitoes wear masks.

A: I am shameless. I dare to say anything, no matter how hard and tired I am, as long as the leaders can control the food.

B: I'm shameless, just smile at everyone. No matter whether you laugh or not, the leader has to pay money.

Yes, we made more money this time.

Come on, you

Crosstalk Funny Line 2: "Speak English" A: Today, I will tell you a cross talk! Oh, this grandmother asked me what to say alone. Of course it's two people, but my partner is never on time ... You see, we agreed to perform at 9 o'clock, and it's already 8: 60, and we haven't seen a ghost yet.

Say what?

Yo, what ... What's wrong with you?

Forget it, it's all those broken English!

A: What's the matter? What's going on here? Come on, tell me!

B: well, the teacher in our class said! With China's entry into WTO, Beijing's successful bid for the Olympic Games and the start of the construction of Dongyangkou Port, we students of Sunshine English can't go to junior high school without learning English.

A: Yes, it's quite smooth! Learning English is a good thing!

B: it's a good thing! That's me.-back!

What happened to your back?

B: I've had all the bad luck!

Oh, tell everyone!

What do you mean?

A: What's the matter?

I'm unlucky. You still want me to say it, aren't you kidding me?

You misunderstood. I definitely didn't mean that!

B: Then what do you mean?

A: Let me ask you something!

B: Say it!

You're the unlucky one?

B: Nonsense! Is there anyone else to replace the bad luck?

Do you mind repeating these unfortunate events?

You deliberately hurt me!

A: Do you want our audience friends to be as unlucky as you?

B: No!

A: Why?

B: If everything is like this, who can clap for me?

Then why don't you say it today?

Ok, I ... this child has been admitted!

A: Hehe!

B: I'll give up this old face today and tell everyone!

A: Good! Everybody clap your drums!

By the way, this is the first day of English class!

A: What's the matter?

My brother and sister are dead!

A: Ah! Don't scare people!

Who scared you? Our teacher said it was in black and white. I want to show it to my father!

Oh, then tell me what happened!

There are two dialogues in the first lesson.

Good morning, boys and girls!

Good morning! Miss Li!

A: These two sentences mean good morning, children! Good morning, Miss Li!

B: I can't remember the pronunciation of the words girl and miss!

A: If you can't remember, you have to practice again and again!

I have an idea!

A: What way!

B: English words plus Chinese translation!

A: That won't do.

B: Is there anything wrong with that?

It's not good for your future English study!

I don't care so much. I remember all these translations!

Oh, how do you translate it?

B: Girls, my brother is dead, miss, and my sister is dead.

A: I feel that your brother and sister were killed by you on the first day!

Oh, you're welcome. After this class, I blew it all over the classroom with my invention patent! I didn't expect the teacher to catch me!

A: This is terrible!

B: When the teacher saw it, his face was crooked, so he punished me for copying 100 times, which made my white and tender hands almost swollen into pigs? Like claws!

You deserve it!

I am learning from failure!

A: Oh, there is no translation!

B: Yes, no translation, I don't translate on paper, I translate in my mind! I think we are white ... (turning to A) Is Miss White here today?

A: No!

B: I'll see how Miss Bai punishes me!

A: Well, you!

B: I haven't studied for a week! My whole family, including me, was completely translated by me!

A: Ah, how did they all die!

B: Alas! Grandpa died on Yes, grandma died on Nice, dad died on the bus, mom died on Must, my brother died on Girls, my sister died on Jeeps, I died on Was, my cat died on Mouse, my dog died on Goes, and finally all died after learning Does, and the whole family died after learning school.

A: I'll translate it for you to see how his family died. Listen carefully: his grandfather died well, his grandmother died well, his father died on the bus, his mother died properly, his brother died on the girl, his sister died on the jeep, and he died himself. Then his cat died on the mouse and a dog died. Learning to be excellent is an official, and coming back from the dead.

B: On Friday, the teacher asked me to take my English exam results home!

How many points did you get?

B: 100 points!

A: Oh, it's great to be admitted!

B: Yes, I brought back four papers at once, adding up to *** 100!

A: 25 points on average!

B: My dad saw it and scolded me for a long time.

A: You should be scolded! Is there anyone who learns English like you!

B: Dad added a dish to me in the evening, and the soles were braised in little ass! I am completely disillusioned!

A: Well, correcting mistakes is still a good boy!

I study every day, study hard, study hard, study hard. ...

A: How's it going?

B: You got a paper 100!

A: Yes, great progress! Worthy of praise!

B: if you study well, you will suffer!

A: How did you suffer when you studied well?

Do you remember my big neighbor next door?

A: Yes! That's what China said (learn to stutter)!

B: This dog with developed limbs and stuttering mouth hit me! .

Why did he hit you?

Isn't he in grade one?

A: Yes!

B: Isn't there English in the first grade?

At that time, English in grade one was a compulsory course!

B: If you think he can't learn China well, English must be a word.

A: What?

B: Not good!

Does his poor English bother you?

Well, just last weekend! I don't know which teacher assigned a paper that was all translated from English into Chinese.

A: It's no problem to assign some homework on weekends!

B: He's fine. I am in trouble!

A: What's the matter?

B: He asked me to ask questions!

A: Then you can teach how you want!

B: That's his size, my figure! I dare not teach him.

A: Isn't that great?

B: Damn it, damn it, the teacher who wrote the paper.

A: What's the matter?

B: That topic is fatal!

Oh, what a terrible way!

I can't do it alone. Let's cooperate. I'll play two dog, and you play me.

A: OK!

You are watching TV. I asked you a question in a paper recently. You can answer while watching TV!

A: OK!

B: Little donkey!

A: Alas, (What are these names? None of them look good)

B: I'll ... I'll ask you two ... two questions. What do you mean "I don't know"?

A: I don't know.

Don't ... stop watching TV. How could you ... How could you ... I don't know!

A: No! I don't know! !

B: Talk back ... Shut up! ! ! ! (slap)

What do you mean "I know"? You ... you should ... you should know.

Yes, I know.

If you know, say it.

It means "I know"

Picky ... and you? Just packing ... it's light, isn't it?

A: I know!

I know ... I know you still won't say it! ! Don't understand ... no ... don't pretend to understand! (Another beating) You ... You give me a little ... Be careful, or you will learn English well! Who ... who puts on airs, and then asks you the last one, saying ... I can't say it, I ... I will punish you, "I know but I don't want to tell you." What do you mean?

I know, but I just don't want to tell you!

B: As soon as I listen to this topic, can I translate it? I picked up a pillow and hit it on my head for more than 30 times, hit the wall with my head for more than 40 times and slapped my mouth with my hands for more than 50 times. I asked him, I won't. Are you satisfied?

Are you satisfied?

B: I'm leaving at last. You'll ask me soon.

"I didn't hear anything, Ripert. What do you mean? "

A: "I didn't hear you clearly. Say it again. "

I didn't hear anything, Ripert.

A: I didn't catch that. Say it again. "

B: As soon as my voice dropped, I was stunned.

Finally, I asked: What does it mean to look it up in a dictionary?

Answer: "Look it up in the dictionary."

B: I just said fist! The size of a fist.

A: then you!

B: I quickly changed my mind: neighbors are best friends!

How dare you talk nonsense!

Dare I tell the truth? Besides, to be honest, I can't die. Oh!

A: Well, it seems that you are unlucky enough. My condolences to you!

Let's go, it's getting late. I have to go to the hospital to change my dressing!

Ok, then go!

Goodbye, here you are!

A: What?

Uncle dog, are you there?

A: He was translated again!