Jokes about quarrels between couples

`~~Joke

Reason

A couple had a fierce quarrel. After the quarrel, the husband felt regretful and took his wife to the window to see an unusual sight - two horses dragging a cart of hay up the mountain.

“Why can’t we pull together like that to the top of the mountain of life?”

“We can’t pull together like two horses,” the wife said, “because the two of us can’t pull together like two horses.

One of them is a donkey!"

This is impossible

Wife: "It would be better for me to marry the devil than to marry you."

This is impossible

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Husband: "This is impossible, because close relatives are prohibited from marrying."

There is a reason for the quarrel

The salesman walked to the door of a house and heard a man and a woman arguing inside. Sound, decision

Stand outside for a while, wait until they finish arguing before knocking on the door. Soon after, a child came out. The salesman asked him: "Are your adults still quarreling?"

The child replied: "Yes, sir. They are always quarreling."

The salesman asked again: "Who is your father?"

The child quickly replied: "This is the reason for their quarrel! "

Need quiet

"I've been to the hospital," the husband said to his wife.

"What did the doctor say?" the wife asked.

"He asked me to have a good rest and be absolutely quiet. This is the sleeping pill he prescribed."

"Okay, I will take care of you and take the medicine on time."

"No, this medicine is prescribed for you." The husband said.

Same for seven years

Female A: "I have been married to my husband for seven years. My husband has always treated me the same as he did on the wedding day.

"

Otome: "I heard you two arguing last night!"

Ame: "Yes! The day my husband and I got married."

Married Agreement

The wife suggested: "From now on, we will respect each other. How about I get rid of the bad habit of swearing, and you also

Don't hit people easily. ?"

The husband agreed: "Okay, if you scold me again, I will beat you to death!"

The wife shouted angrily: "You dare!" He is the head of the household

The family is having a lively fight. The police heard the noise and ran over and knocked hard on the door.

The door was opened by an angry woman. The police asked her: "Madam, who is the head of your household?" The woman gasped and said, "I will tell you later, I am deciding this matter with my husband!"

Provided Choice

When there was a serious quarrel, the wife made a suggestion: "I have two options to end this quarrel. One is, either we both admit that I was right. "

"Where's the other one?" asked the husband.

"Either we all admit that you were wrong." The wife said the second option.

When does it make sense

"My husband and I have never had a quarrel." A woman showed off happily.

"Didn't he ever argue when he was reasonable?"

"I don't know when he was reasonable. There was never such a time."

Wife comes first

A newly married couple had family rules posted in their bridal chamber, which read:

Rule 1: The wife is always right.

Item 2: If your wife is wrong, please refer to item 1.

The time has not come yet

Wife: "You are a tyrant!"

Husband: "Why did you marry me in the first place?"

Wife: "You said if I don't marry you, you will die."

Husband: "Wouldn't it be better if I died then?"

Wife: " But I hadn’t become the legal heir to your inheritance yet!”

Complaint

On the platform of the station, a couple was complaining to each other. The husband looked at the second train that had already left and said to his wife: "It's all your fault! If you hadn't been holding on, we could have boarded this train."

"It's all your fault!" the wife retorted, "If you hadn't kept urging me, we would

not have to spend so much time waiting for the next train.

”

Who is right?

After the couple quarreled, the husband scolded: “You should remember that no matter what time, a man’s thinking is right.

, the judgment is accurate, but women are just the opposite! ”

“Yes, you were absolutely right to choose me as your wife, but it was a big mistake for me to choose you as my husband

It was a big mistake! ”

"Couples Quarrel Agreement"

Husbands and wives often quarrel due to family conflicts. In order to keep the quarrels at a level, the husband (Party A) and the wife (Party B) The two parties negotiated repeatedly and reached the following agreement: 1. Do not quarrel in front of parents, relatives, or neighbors. Otherwise, you are allowed to pull the other party's ears 5 to 10 times and tear the other party to tears. But it is not allowed to tear out the ears until they bleed.

2. No matter who is right or wrong, as long as there is an argument, the man must coax the woman gently once before the woman can calm down immediately, otherwise the woman will scream when she sees the man. Wow, the woman can't help but Wow, wow, once serious consequences occur, the man will be responsible for spanking the other party's butt 10 to 20 times, but not purple.

3. Do not quarrel at home. If you really have to leave, you are not allowed to leave the community without your mobile phone and turn off the phone. Otherwise, the other party can have fun in beauty salons, nightclubs, and dance halls, and the other party is not allowed to interfere.

4. Respect the other party's parents and elders. If you are unhappy in a quarrel, you should not be rude to your parents. Otherwise, the other party will be punished by kowtowing 20 to 30 times to the parents.

5. The party who is at fault should take the initiative to apologize, and the party who is not at fault should apologize and make amends. Forgive each other as soon as possible.

6. When both parties make mistakes, they should review each other. After recognizing the mistakes and apologizing, the man should take the initiative to take the woman out to relax. The other party must not refuse for any reason. Otherwise, he must ask the other party. Laugh 50 to 100 times.

7. Don’t hit anything when venting your anger. You can only eat. If your hands are itchy, you can only hit pillows or quilts.

8. Try not to quarrel. The next night, when the man is sleepy at night, he must take the initiative to hug the woman. Even if the woman is angry and pushes her in every possible way, the man cannot give up. He must coax the woman to fall asleep and have sweet dreams...

9, every day They have to give each other a massage every week, because we often quarrel and it’s hard. If the man is not good at craftsmanship, he can learn from the blind master. It is strictly forbidden to go to the hair salon to learn from the women!

10. The man is not allowed to hang up the phone during an argument! , if you hang up, you should call her back immediately and apologize. If the woman hangs up during an argument, the man must call her within 1 minute. If the phone is unreachable, call her on the mobile phone. In short, you should not be angry and call her repeatedly, but the woman should also call her. Give the man face and hang up the phone no more than 5 times at a time.

(The terms of the agreement are temporarily limited to the above, and can be changed by the woman without any reason or time limit. The man has the right to raise objections, but he has the right to raise objections. The final interpretation of whether it is adopted or not rests with the woman)

Husband’s signature: YYY Wife’s signature: XXX