A very humorous sentence in the circle of friends

1. I like to eat with knowledgeable people. As long as I ask a question that they are good at, the food will be mine in the next two hours.

2. I have always been an invisible rich man, but my money always likes to play hide and seek with me.

3. When I say "anything", what I mean is: I am too lazy to think about it, and I can't think of a good one. Although it is up to you, you must think of me. Only if you are satisfied.

4. I think back then, I had a small waist, but now, I sigh with a lot of fat.

5. If what you give me is the same as what you give to others, then I don’t want it. Canteen Aunt: Don’t get out!

6. After all, I couldn’t beat that BMW, and could only watch it disappear in the sunset. It wasn’t that my engine was bad, but that my car chain fell off.

7. It is said that men become bad when they have money. In fact, such a man is not much better without money, but money only embolden him.

8. People nowadays say they are going to bed, but they just want to lie in bed and play with their mobile phones. If they get up, they just sit on the toilet and play with their mobile phones.

9. When I have money, I will buy a bus, use the dedicated bus lane, and park at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: "Sorry, This is a private car.”

10. Question: What is scarier than hearing square dance music while walking on the street? Answer: I found that my footsteps were stepping on the racket.

11. When you can’t find a good-looking angle for your selfie, you must realize the fact that you look better in person than in the photo.

12. Do you think that as long as you are beautiful, boys will like you? Do you think that as long as you have money, you can have a beautiful girlfriend? Do you think you can find a good job if you are a top student? Let me tell you. That’s the truth!

13. My friend said that if I borrow 20 yuan, I will give it to you later. After I borrowed the money, I realized that some people turn around and spend their whole lives.

14. It is said that marriage is the tomb of love, but if you don’t have a house, you can’t even enter the tomb.

Fifteen. Admit it, that coat you deceived yourself last year and said, "Just be more expensive, it will last for a few more years." When you opened the wardrobe this fall, you already pretended it was gone. Saw it.

16. I have been taught since I was a child not to spend money frivolously. When I grew up, I realized that there was no money for me to spend frivolously.

17. I really need someone. If you open your mouth or shut up, it’s work. If you ask me out, you’ll make money. If you don’t work hard, you’ll slap me back and take me to the top of my life!

18. After a year of hard work, I finally took the position of manager. I still remember that the manager said to me seriously at that time: "Take this broken chair away, and I will replace it with a new one." ”

19. The most beautiful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a pound, grow a pound, and always treat each other sincerely.

Twenty. Although he is young, he is quite heavy. I don’t have much left, but I want to buy a lot. She looks ugly, but she is quite beautiful when she thinks about it.

Twenty-one. My child, what’s wrong with being poor? Even if you are poor, you should stand up and show others that you are not only poor but also short. So what if I'm short? Lift your head up and let them know that you are not only short, but also ugly!

Twenty-two. The boss told us a joke in the office today. Everyone laughed so hard that only Xiao Ming did not laugh. I smiled and asked him why he didn't laugh, and he replied: "I have resigned."

Twenty-three. I suddenly felt like farting while walking on the road. There happened to be a person riding a motorcycle next to me, so I wanted to take this opportunity. To cover up the sound of my fart, I didn’t know that the sound would be too loud if I used too much force. The motorcyclist thought it was starting, put it into gear and was about to leave, but fell down.

Twenty-four. Don’t retouch your pictures endlessly. We all know how ugly you look in real life.