Funny jokes about school.

1, a police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and ran over to ask it: I am a police dog, what are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes!

I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Invite me to have a good meal, or write: marriage, male or female, unlimited conditions.

3. The cannibal father and son hunted, and the son caught a thin man. The father said: Let go, no meat to eat! His son also caught a fat man, and his father said, let go, it's too tired! His son captured another beautiful woman, and his father said, take it home and eat your mother at night!

One day, we went to a wishing pool. I bent down and made a wish, and then threw a coin into the well. You wanted to make a wish, but when you bent down, you accidentally fell into the well. I was startled and muttered, How clever!

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world to find you, and I went through a lot of hardships to find you: TMD! Our wings are on the same side!

6. A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl, and the girl told the boy that if you kissed me, you would be responsible for me. The boy patted the girl on the shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old!

7. In the middle of the night, George W. Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was startled and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and said with a grimace, "It's so soft and confident!"!

8. The monkey picked up a card. It wants to see what it is, so it climbs to the branch to see. At this moment, a flash of lightning hit it. The monkey cried and said that it was an IP card!

9. Zheng Xiding's daughter-in-law went to her father-in-law's house to find her husband. Seeing my father-in-law washing his face, he asked, Dad, where's Ding? Father-in-law is unhappy and continues to wash his face. The daughter-in-law was angry and asked, Dad, where is Zheng Xiding? Father-in-law is furious: wash your face!

10, a patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

1 1, Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and the children live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child!

12, wolves invaded, and small animals set up death squads to fight. Mantis: I have two knives. Hedgehog: I'm covered in hidden weapons. The longicorn sings while swinging its tentacles: Hum! I have nunchakus! Nunchakus! Hum, hum, haha!

13, the science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Does nobody know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool.

The little white rabbit went to the store and asked the boss if there were any steamed buns at 100. The boss said no, and the next day I went to ask if there were any steamed buns at 100. The boss said, sorry, there is no more. On the third day, the white rabbit asked if there were any steamed buns at 100, and the boss said, yes, there are steamed buns at 100 this time. The little white rabbit said, great! Take out the money and say, I'll buy two. . . . . .

One day, in the big forest, the fox was smoking marijuana. At this time, the little rabbit came from a distance. Seeing all this, he came over and said, Fox, how can you smoke marijuana? This is not good for your health. Look, how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The fox thought it was right and ran away with the rabbit.

Running and running, they saw the elephant smoking heroin. The rabbit ran to the elephant and said, elephant, elephant, why are you taking drugs? Look how fresh the air is. Run with me. Elephants think it's right to run together.

Running and running, I saw the lion roll up his sleeves and was about to inject heroin. Little rabbit shouted to the lion from a distance: lion, lion, taking drugs is not good for your health. Look how fresh the air is. Run with me. ...

I saw the lion put down the syringe and rushed over, shooting rabbits crazily. The elephant trembled and said to the lion, why did you hit the rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt his health!

The lion said angrily: NND dead rabbit, every time he takes drugs, he wants me to run wild in the forest with him, damn it!

Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?

A: Rabbit ~ ~

Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~

Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?

A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba

Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It's the fastest turtle again.

Rabbit and drugstore owner

On the first day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit is gone.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "I told you, no!" "

The little white rabbit is gone.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss is anxious: "How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll pull out all your teeth with tiger pliers! "

The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?"

The boss said, "No." The little white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?"