Who has a short English joke? It should be synchronized with the first day!

Money is not everything. There is a MasterCard & visa.

Money is not everything, and sometimes you need a credit card.

One should love animals. They are so delicious.

One should love animals, they are so tasty.

Save water. Take a shower with your girlfriend.

Save water and try to take a shower with your girlfriend.

New teacher

George came back from school on September 1st.

"George, what do you think of your new teacher?" His mother asked.

"Mom, I don't like her because she said that three plus three equals six, and then she said that two plus four equals six ..."

New teacher

On September 1 day, George came home from school.

George, do you like your new teacher? Mom asked.

"Mom, I don't like it, because she said that three plus three equals six, and later she said that two plus four equals six."

An excuse for speeding.

An excuse for speeding.

Harry and Lloyd were speeding on the road. A police car stopped them.

Why on earth did you drive so fast? "The policeman roared.

Our brakes don't work-so we want to get there before the accident! 〃

The cause of speeding

Harry and Lloyd were speeding and a police car stopped them.

"Why are you driving so fast?" The police officer shouted.

"Our brakes are not good, so we want to get to our destination before the accident."

What's the difference between monkeys and fleas?

B: Monkeys can have fleas, but fleas can't have monkeys.

What's the difference between monkeys and fleas?

B: Monkeys can have fleas, but fleas can't have monkeys.

What is the strongest creature in the world?

Snails. It carries the house on its back.

What is the strongest animal in the world?

B: Snails. Because it can carry its own house.

How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

Keep him awake.

A: How can we stop sleepwalkers from sleepwalking?

Don't let him sleep.

He is really a big shot.

-My uncle has 1000 people.

-He's really something. What does he do?

-The maintenance man in the cemetery.

He is really a big shot.

There are 1000 people under my uncle.

-He's really a big shot. What do you do?

Graveyard keeper.

Shortly after an old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States, she went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk carefully checked every bill to see if it was true. This made the old lady impatient.

Finally, she couldn't hold on any longer and said. "Believe me, Sir, believe in money. They are real dollars. They are directly from the United States. "

They were brought directly from America.

An old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States and went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every banknote to see if it was fake.

This made the old woman very impatient. Finally, she couldn't help saying, "Trust me, sir, and please trust these bills, too. These are real dollars, and they are brought directly from the United States. "

My puppy can't read.

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read. "

Bring me the winner

Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.

-I'm sorry, sir. It must be fighting.

-Well, then bring me the winner.

Give me the winner.

Waiter,

This lobster has only one claw.

Sorry, sir, but this one must have been in a fight.

Oh, then give me the winner.

One day, a tourist from the city came to a small village and drove on the country road to see what the farm looked like and how farmers made a living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig in his hand, holding it high so that the pig could eat the apples on the apple tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't that a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What is time to a pig?"

One day, a tourist from the city came to a small village. He drove along the road in the country to see what the farm was like and how farmers made a living by farming. City people saw a farmer on the grass behind his house, holding a pig in his hand and holding it high so that it could eat apples from the tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't it a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What does time mean to pigs?"

Two bills.

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Who can point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer

Teacher: Please talk about it.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.