A "knowledgeable" teacher

In the Ming Dynasty, there was a man named Tian Xicheng. He was a teacher in an academy, that is, a teacher. This Teacher Tian is uneducated and has no real skills, but he always pretends to be knowledgeable every day. When he has nothing to do, he will come up with an adapted Tang poem, Song lyrics, etc., which makes a lot of jokes.

? One day in spring, the students came to the academy early, prepared their textbooks, and waited for Teacher Tian to start class. But the sun has already risen, and the teacher has not arrived. The students are talking about it and the classroom is in chaos. Student Erbao stood up and said, "Everyone, be quiet. Teacher Tian may have overslept. Should we call the teacher?" Everyone agreed, so a large group of students walked towards the teacher's bedroom. When they came to the door of the bedroom, Erbao made a "shhh" gesture. Everyone tiptoed and gently opened the door. They saw Teacher Tian sleeping soundly. Erbao made a gesture and everyone exited. Erbao quietly He said, "What do you think, let's play a trick on Teacher Tian?" Everyone quietly made a gesture of agreement and hid one after another. Erbao tiptoed in, picked up a goose feather, gently poked Teacher Tian's soles, and then lay down on the ground. Teacher Tian opened his hazy sleepy eyes and opened his mouth to say: "I haven't woken up from my spring sleep, mosquito bites are everywhere. Where did the bear come from, scratching my smelly feet. Have a good sleep, have a good sleep." After saying this, he took a deep breath. The students couldn't help it anymore and burst out laughing. When Teacher Tian saw that he was being teased by the students, he was very angry and shouted: "Why don't you go back and get ready for class." The students ran back to the classroom one after another.

? Teacher Tian came to the classroom. He was worried about being teased by the students just now and wanted to find a way to regain his face. So he said to the students: "Today we are learning to write poems. Let me give you an example. Do as you are told, and those who can't do it will be punished by standing in class." The students expressed their disagreement, and Teacher Tian banged the pointer on the table, "The protest is invalid, listen carefully, it will snow in the sky but not rain, and it will turn snow on the ground. It's too troublesome to turn snow into rain. It's better to just let it rain. You can say whatever you want, as long as it's a fight." Erbao was the smartest. He asked the teacher: "Is it a fight with you? Is that possible? There is no limit to the subject matter?” “Yes,” Teacher Tian replied. "Okay, my second child will come first. Teacher doesn't eat shit when he eats. The food will turn into shit in the stomach. It would be troublesome for the food to turn into shit, so why not just eat shit." Hahahaha, the students in the classroom burst into laughter. Shanshan hurriedly stood up and said, "I'll do it. I'll do it. Teacher, drink water instead of urine. Water will turn into urine when it's in your belly. It's troublesome to turn water into urine. It's better to just drink urine." Nana stood up and said, "Teacher Eat the gas instead of the fart. If the anger turns into the fart, it will be troublesome, so it is better to just eat the fart." Teacher Tian was so angry that he ended the get out of class early.

? Teacher Tian wants to go out for a walk to relax. As soon as they arrived at the gate of the college, they met Zhang San, Li Si, and Wang Wu. The three of them hurriedly said hello to Teacher Tian. Zhang San said, "Teacher Tian, ??I haven't listened to your poems for a few days and I feel uncomfortable all over. Could you please Teacher Tian to write a few poems?" Li Si and Wang Wu hurriedly agreed. When Teacher Tian heard someone boasting about himself, his depression disappeared and he was in a good mood. He said: "Then I will show off my shame. Let me write a poem first. It is noon on the hoeing day, and the work is really hard. If you don't want to be tired, "It's a lot of trouble to study." "Okay, that's great. If you don't want to be tired, just study hard, work harder, and be creative." Li Si and Wang Wu agreed. "Let me tell you another word. There are old trees with dead vines and crows, and there is a family under the tree. The smoke from the chimney is curling up. When you open the door, you will be greedy for the delicious food." Zhang San, Li, Si, Wang, and five others praised him and said, "Well, there happens to be someone there." A child passed by and muttered: "What the hell, it's neither fish nor fowl." Several people looked at each other, confused.