Complete works of horror black jokes

Often we can find some superficial and deep meanings in "funny jokes", and such a paragraph is called "funny jokes". Next, I carefully prepared "Horror Black Story" for you. Welcome to watch!

Horrible black stories (hot stories) 1. My boyfriend got lost in the forest, wandered around for two days, and finally met someone. He said happily, Thank God, I've been lost for two days, and I finally met someone today. ? That humanity: Friend, what's there to be happy about? I have been lost for seven days. ?

The sky outside the window was full of haze, so the city was covered with a layer of gray. I turned around and chewed the bread for breakfast. It's really annoying I hope everything will disappear. I can't help thinking so. When I was about to go out, my mobile phone sent a short message, and I stopped to check it. This is the divination information spontaneously sent to all citizens six months ago, and it is predicted every day. Today, my content is: Mr. A's fortune is very bad today, so I suggest you don't go out, in case everything goes wrong. The previous prediction was very accurate. I hesitated, then closed the door and called the boss for leave. The sky was still gray, but it didn't start to rain. After the clock, a terrorist attack occurred in my building and the city began to collapse.

3. One night, the young man sent the girl home, reluctantly at the door, and the two embraced and kissed. Half an hour later, the girl opened the window and shouted: Damn it, let my girl go! The young man was frightened and argued for a long time. Aunt and uncle, we really love each other. ? The old man scolded: I really don't care. If I kissed her, I would admit it. I will kiss my doorbell in the middle of the night! ?

4. Today, I read the news about the so-called per capita deposit in China, only to find that I am not poor and should have a deposit. Who can tell me which bank I am in? How to take it out? I need it urgently! . . . I want to ask the media: "Can your money and mine be divided equally?"

Min has a bad habit of telling ghost stories at night. I have a good habit of running in the morning. One day, they met and fell in love until they got married. After marriage, Chen can't stand Min's bad habits and is listless every morning. Until one day, a policeman came to a certain neighborhood and took Chen away. The police questioned him this morning. Why did you kill your wife? He bothered me. ? Chen Jing didn't panic, the word min unconsciously appeared in his palm.

6. Second-rate wives are careless. Yesterday, my crotch was rotten, and my wife sewed it! The scene is particularly warm, although the craft is not so good, but it is so intimate. Go shopping with my wife after sewing and dressing. When you're tired of walking, just find a stool to sit on for a while, right down? Oh? Jumped up with a high voice. Damn it, the needle went in.

7. After the exam, the teacher lectured: All students, how come some did well in the exam and some did poorly. ? Xiaoming:? Because the invigilator is different. ? Teacher:? Get out! ?

8. My wife and I just moved here. My wife always thinks the environment here is good. Once I stood on the balcony with her and looked out. I found a woman standing in the opposite building, looking very strange. My wife said that her shoulders were sore and asked me to rub them for her, so I did. Suddenly I saw a woman in the distance laughing. What does she mean by this? Later, I asked my neighbor. It turns out that she is poor. Her husband fell off the tracks and died, leaving her alone in a trance. This day, I took another look on the balcony and found that she was still standing there. Suddenly she smiled at me again. I don't understand.

9. The red wooden door was slowly pushed open and made a noise. Passing through the layers of cloisters entwined by Ziluo Hua Teng, I marvel at the exquisite carved wooden windows from time to time, and stare at the sparkling glazed tiles through the sunshine, still leaving a hundred years of silent time and traces of historical precipitation. The pond in the backyard is clear and transparent, shining like peanuts. Koi fish vomited some bubbles in the water, shook his tail and left. The ancient well in the corner is carved with mysterious lines. I bent down to observe it more carefully, but it was dragged into the well by unknown forces and kept falling without end. In a trance, I saw a pale woman's red lips gently raised.

10. My brother and sister are sitting by the bed. Their father is out of town, and their mother has just gone shopping. ? Come on! ? The boy looked at the girl expectantly, and the girl shook her head. The boy thought about it. I promise I won't stop like last time! ? The woman who came home opened the room? The girl on the bed was lifeless, with a pillow on her head. The boy holding the pillow suddenly withdrew his hand and looked at the woman blankly.

Horror black story (classic) 1. Candles flashed everywhere and the sky was dark. I sit in front of you and tell you in a low voice: One night, I was walking alone in a dead lane. Dim street lamps were lit on both sides, and his shadow was long and short. A man came and walked past him. His scalp exploded when he walked? That man just now has no shadow! The pace of life is too fast now, so many people like to listen to jokes, especially horror jokes. So, let's be prepared. At the end of each story, maybe you will suddenly be pushed from behind, leaving you weightless and empty. Feel like bungee jumping?

The doctor confessed to the priest: I had sex with three of my patients. Can God forgive me? The priest comforted him: it's okay. There was a doctor who came to confess before, and he had a lot to do with patients. Oh, is he also a vet?

3. teacher:? Please explain the environmental factors and genetic factors! ? Xiaoming:? It is a genetic factor to look like a father, and an environmental factor to look like a neighbor! ? Teacher:? As usual, Xiaoming stood up silently?

Go to the bathhouse every day on weekdays, and it is more routine to go in for a warm bath and sweat before taking a bath. About a minute after I entered the sauna, a man followed me in to see who stayed longer. I will never go out unless this man goes out, which is also my unique habit.

Someone farted on the bus, everyone covered their noses, only one person was indifferent. The person next to him sighed:? You're amazing. You're not afraid of the smell. ? The man smiled. No, I'm just a special professional. I'm used to it. ? The person next to him asked again:? Are you the toilet manager? The man smiled secretly and whispered in his ear:? Actually, I am the team doctor of the national football team. ?

6. Xiaoming drove to travel and was stopped by several traffic policemen. The traffic police asked. Routine inspection, please cooperate with drunk driving. ? Xiao Ming nodded and said, OK. ? Xiao Ming spat, and the traffic police looked at the alcohol tester motionless, puzzled, because Xiao Ming smelled obvious alcohol in his breath. The traffic police said suspiciously: You really didn't drink? Xiao Ming nodded and said, I really didn't drink. ? The traffic police nodded and said:? Then where did you get the smell of wine? ? Xiao Ming sighed, took out a bottle and said, domestic violence, my wife called me, and I was coated with iodine. ?

7. The tortoise is in the way. Gan Long asked? What are these bastards doing? The tortoise said:? I'm waiting for an asshole to join me and ask for their jobs! ? Gan Long laughed. Ok, then I'll let you wait for all the officials to put down the lamp holders. ? The turtles bowed their thanks. Gan Long laughed: These stupid bastards, when can the candle end of the oil lamp face down? In a blink of an eye, electric lights replaced candles, so you are joking. These bastards have really become officials.

8. Yesterday, my little friend and I went to the trampoline. When you are tired of jumping, you start to lie flat. She pounced on me on a whim ... and grabbed my arch and scratched it with her nails! Scratching and jumping around me, I can't get up when I lie down! But her feet are still there! On this day, the brotherhood of the Wolf, I don't know little.

9. A girl found a bottle at the seaside, opened it and flew out with an elf. The elf said that I can realize one of your wishes.

10. When an old man was dying, he called three children who were often in conflict to the bed and handed his eldest son a chopstick, saying that you broke it, and the eldest son broke it. He handed the second son three chopsticks and said, Now you have broken them, and so has the second son. The old man struggled to hand in ten chopsticks. As a result, his youngest son was broken and the old man died with a grudge.

Horror black film (selected articles) 1. Zhang:? Aha, come on, does it hurt? Black flower:? You asked for it yourself? Zhang:? QAQ, I don't want it? Black flower:? Raise your eyebrows, huh? Too late? Black flower:? Zhang, how about opening the can lid?

2. "I don't know when a delicate and charming rose bloomed in the locust garden of the mother bee. She asked her neighbor drones with joy. They refused to admit that they were planted by themselves and laughed at her romance. Her heart is full of sadness: except for picking honey, she is ordinary. She took good care of the roses and was reluctant to pick them. But when the rose came to an end, it withered. The mother bee will never know that there is a dumb locust tree seed that once bloomed roses for her in the name of love. "

3. Last night, did you see it? Avenue of Stars? A couple is singing My Close Lover. Hearing the climax, the landlord couldn't help singing along. After singing, I found my mother-in-law smiling meaningfully beside me. The landlord asked her mother-in-law: Mom, what's the matter? Did you sing badly? Mother-in-law came slowly: singing well, but not singing? Better! Grandma, don't hurt your wife's self-esteem like this!

The sound insulation of my public house is not good. There is a couple living upstairs. They jump on the bed every night. Very annoying. Sometimes when they jump around, they hear women screaming. I thought, damn it, I made you jump and sprain your ankle!

The teacher asked Xiao Ming, Shuang Shuang and Li Hua who were standing outside the classroom. What are you three doing in class? Tell me honestly. ? Xiaoming:? Pointing to the mountains and inspiring words, dung is Wan Huhou in those days. ? Teacher:? Speak human words. ? Xiaoming:? Fight the landlord. ? Teacher:? Standing outside all day. ?

6. Xiaomei has been having nightmares recently, dreaming that someone has been stuffing food into her stomach, as if to burst her stomach. She was too scared to sleep, so she had to call her mother to accompany her.

7. When I saw this joke, it really fucking killed me. I'm speechless. An international student from China was fighting with an American classmate, and someone fell down and scolded angrily: I x your mother! His American classmate then asked others: What did he say? He said he slept with your mother. Hearing this, the foreign students immediately went over to help the China students politely and said, Sorry, I didn't know you were my mother's boyfriend!

8. Ouyang Qian, who works in medical college, is complacent this year. When she got up in the morning, she found a pimple on her forehead. She was upset and blamed herself for not staying up late to pick up girls in the bar. Day after day? But she likes the irregular nightlife and can't abandon the lifestyle of being serious during the day and dissolute at night. It's strange that she didn't have acne before. What happened these days? Acne has mushroomed. And it's getting bigger and bigger, so she's scared. Heavy makeup can't cover up such obvious defects. She finally decided to return to college and have a good sleep at night. In the middle of the night, she felt her face itch. After a subconscious scratch, she felt that her face was broken and she was bleeding a lot. She was so scared that she suddenly woke up and looked in the mirror. Something terrible happened. When she sat up, she left many maggots along the blood trail, one by one? She accidentally broke a test tube and cut her finger at work that day. Maybe that's when the eggs flowed into Ouyang's body. ? Do you think the acne on your face is just acne?

9. Xiao Ming asked his father Han Shao: Dad, my daughter was my father's lover in a previous life, right? Han Shao:? Well, there is a saying. ? Xiaoming:? Where's the son? Was it mom's lover in a previous life? Han Shao:? Hehe, no, silly boy. The son is gay friends of his father's previous life. ? After that, Han Shao's eyes were moist, and he leaned down and said that Xiao Ming, who stood on tiptoe, hugged the sofa affectionately, hiding his merits and fame.