Selected emotional jokes for men and women

1, "I always can't get a girlfriend. Am I asking too much? "

"Silly! The demands of others are too high. "

2. "How important is appearance?"

"Three points are doomed, seven points depend on hard work, and the remaining 90 points depend on looks."

3. "How to improve your girlfriend's IQ?"

"When she doesn't like you, her IQ naturally rises."

4. "Why does my boyfriend always feel that other boys are interested in me?"

"Men know men too well!"

5. "What do men hate most about women?"

"clothes."

6. "What's it like to be with someone who has no feelings?"

"The feeling of going to work!"

7. "How to answer the girl's question' Why are you so kind to me?' "

"Because I am your spare tire."

8. "What if girls can't find a topic for chatting?"

"Just say,' I feel a little embarrassed, let's kiss to ease the atmosphere.' "

9. "What's the difference between the former and the present?"

The gender is different!

10, "How to judge what type of girlfriend is?"

"It can be summed up in two words: quiet girls like to say' I understand', sister girls like to say' I am', coquetry girls like to say' I don't want', * * * girls like to say' I want' to you, and B girls like to say' * * *'."

1 1, I was lying on the sofa eating cucumber slices and resting, while my father was watching TV. I said, "Can you watch something else instead of this war fighter?"

Dad gave me a look and said, "Can you still see cucumbers in your eyes?"

I said, "I have an eye. I can see."

Dad "Oh" went to the kitchen to get another cucumber slice and made a joke on my other eye.

12, "Mom, why did you come back until now?"

"Can't, there are too many people learning from Lei Feng in the street! At the traffic light intersection at home, I was helped back and forth several times. I was sent back to the opposite side as soon as I came over! "

"Then how did you come back?"

"I really can't walk, and I accidentally fell to the ground. As a result, the people who lined up to help me were scattered, and I ran all the way back. "

13, a young man came to the scene of Jianbao program and took out porcelain. Several experts carefully identified it and told the young man that it was Song porcelain.

The joy of the young man can be imagined, and he quickly took out his mobile phone and said that he would call his grandfather.

When the cameraman saw this scene, he quickly followed it quietly and took a snapshot. Only the young man said happily, "Grandpa, experts say the porcelain you burned is from the Song Dynasty!" "

14, the husband saw the clothes in the closet and said to his wife, "Women are animals who love the new and hate the old."

The wife immediately retorted, "Who said that? We also like the old encyclopedia of emotional jokes for men and women. "

The husband asked, "What do you miss?"

The wife said, "Age!"

15, when buying a mobile phone and the MM at the counter bargained, a promotional MM next to it said, "Do you want to date?"

I turned my head and looked at it. It looks good. But you are too direct, miss, you have to refuse first: "I'm sorry, I didn't talk about my girlfriend until I was 30, and I can't afford it ..."

As a result, the promotion MM blushed and said, "Sir, do you want a discount? We have activities! "

16, female: "Do I look good today?"

M: "There is a feeling that the whole has a bright future."

Woman: "Does that mean I built it beautifully?"

Man: "Another village ... women"

17, it is said that men are not good things, but why do many girls say that I am a good person?

18, how to express I miss you implicitly?

What are you doing?

19, women are born with four knives. Do you know which four knives they are: nagging, nagging. . .

20. Actually, when a woman doesn't want to be with you, there are many reasons. For example, when you were washing dishes, the woman said that we were not suitable. We split up. The reason is that you brush the dishes clockwise and she brushes them counterclockwise.

2 1. How does a man impress a woman with one sentence? Buy!

How did that woman impress a man with one sentence? Forget it, I won't buy it.

22. Why did God make you women so beautiful but stupid?

Woman: God made us beautiful, so you men will fall in love with us, and we will fall in love with you, because we are stupid.

23. What is a heart? Just when you were thinking about him (her), he (she) called you and said, "Let's break up."

24. Love made me forget time, and time also made me forget love.

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