Authentic English humorous jokes with translation?

Jokes make people feel a little happy and relaxed in their rigid lives, and play an important role in regulating people's daily lives. I bring it to you below, welcome to read!

Authentic English humorous joke 1:

The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed,

A very stingy miser finally went to the dentist to have his teeth checked.

"Well, sir," said the dentist,

"Sir," the dentist said,

"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all have to e out."

"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to.

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"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

"How much will that cost?" the cheapskate asked the doctor.

"A thousand dollars."

"A thousand dollars."

Here's a hundred, "said the tightwad," Just loosen them up a bit.""

"Here's a hundred dollars," said the miser. "Just loosen them a little.

Authentic English humor joke 2:

A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window: "ARABS NOT WELE" ; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn't want a scandal, so he orders, "OK, give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

A Jew opened a kosher restaurant in London. On the window of the restaurant he wrote: "*** man "No Entry" sign. A few days later, a distinctive *** man walked into the restaurant and wanted a sandwich. The cashier immediately ran to the office and asked what to do. The restaurant owner didn't want to cause trouble, so he said, " Well, teach him a lesson by selling him a sandwich but charging him twice as much.

”

But the next day the same Arab is back again this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple, he'11 get the lesson this time!" The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK, 1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do e, charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without plaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELE."

But the next day, The *** guy came again and this time he asked for a whole lunch. The boss decided to charge him three times the money so that he would know how awesome he was! The *** person paid quickly after lunch, praised the food as very delicious, and even made a reservation for dinner for ten people that night. The boss thought for a while and said, "No problem, let him make a reservation, but when his friends come, he will charge them ten times the money!" By the evening, those *** people really came and ordered a lot of dishes, no matter how much they paid. I paid ten times the price without complaint and tipped generously. So on the third day, the boss wrote a new line of words on the window: "Jews are not allowed inside."

Authentic English humorous jokes 3:

And You Think You've Got Problems

Do you think you have problems?

" Boy, have I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.

"Boy, have I got problems!" a man said to the psychiatrist.

"Go ahead and tell me about them "

"Go ahead and tell me about your problems."

"Well, to start with, I' ve got an estate in the country, three Mercedes and a luxury yacht."

"Oh, that's right, I have real estate in the country, three Mercedes and a luxury yacht."

"So, what's the problem?"

"What's the problem?"

"I only make $ 100 a week!"

“I only make a hundred dollars a week!”

The above is what I brought to you, I hope you like it! ?