What about the ancient dowry? Is it true that you can't get married without getting rich?

Most people think that in ancient times, men needed a bride price to get married, but many people don't know that in ancient times, women needed a dowry to get married, and it must be equipped. Especially in the Song Dynasty, if there is no dowry, the daughter may face the risk of not getting married. Even if you get married, you will be looked down upon by others. Therefore, ancient women had to buy a generous dowry when they got married, and sometimes the dowry was even more than the bride price given by the man's family. Why did the ancients pay so much attention to dowry when they married their daughters? There are three main reasons. First, the ancients also liked to keep up with the joneses when they got married, fearing that the dowry would be laughed at by relatives and friends. Second: In order to improve the daughter's economic status in her husband's family, the more dowry, the greater the right to speak in her husband's family. If the dowry is too small, it will be looked down upon or even left out in the husband's family. Third: Dowry belongs to women's private property. If there is any change, women can also sell for a living. Therefore, in ancient times, it was really a loss to marry a woman!

Marriage in The Legend of Mi Yue

In the pre-Qin period, women got married and prepared dowry, which was imitated by successive dynasties! There is a lyric in the Xinjiang folk song "The Girl in Dabancheng": "If you marry someone else, you must marry me, take a dowry, lead your sister and drive a carriage!" I guess many people are curious. Do you want to get married in Xinjiang with your sister and dowry? It is said that the phrase "lead your sister" in the lyrics actually means "maid of honor" due to translation errors. In fact, in the pre-Qin period, when a vassal married a woman, it was really to let her daughter take a dowry, lead her sisters, and drive a carriage to get married together.

According to Zuo Zhuan? "Eight years in the public service" records: "Where a vassal marries a woman, the same surname is a foreigner, and a different surname is wrong. "The meaning of this sentence is that a warlord marries a daughter with the same surname, and cannot use a woman of the opposite sex as his dowry.

What is "Ai"? Zheng Xuan, a Confucian scholar in the Eastern Han Dynasty, wrote in Etiquette? Shi Soul explained: "When an ancient man married a woman, he must obey. This is called' Ai'. That is to say, in ancient times, when a vassal married a wife, he had to take his niece or daughter's sister to marry his husband, which was called "Ai".

The original meaning of this "out" refers to the married person or thing, and both men and women can get married. So "Ai" is similar to the dowry when women get married now. Of course there are essential differences.

Five sheepskins for the prime minister

For example, in Sima Qian's Historical Records? "Chronicle of the Early Qin Dynasty" records: "Destroy Yu, Guo, capture his doctor for a hundred miles, and pay for his illness with a horse. I thought Mrs. Qin Miaogong married Qin. " In 655 BC, he bribed Guo with jade and a good horse. After the demise of the State of Guo, the State of Yu was also destroyed, and the monarch and doctor of the State of Yu, Baijila, was also captured. Prissy was taken prisoner and sent to the State of Qin to be the dowry slave of Mrs. Qin Mugong. "Entering Qin" in Historical Records is actually giving Priscilla to Qin as a dowry for Jin Xiangong's daughter.

It is said that during the Spring and Autumn Period, when princes married women, they would cast bronzes as dowry. The inscriptions on bronzes will record the identity, titles, greetings and other related information of married women. Of course, bronzes are only part of the dowry of princes when they marry women, except for entry, bronzes, carriages and other items.

Jin Wengong

For example, when he was exiled to Qi, he married his daughter Chiang Kai-shek and gave him twenty chariots and horses as a dowry.

Judging from the situation of princes marrying daughters in the Spring and Autumn Period, when they marry daughters, they either give them to handmaids or horses and chariots. In short, the dowry given to him is quite generous. After Qi Huangong's death, civil strife broke out in Qi. Jin Wengong, because of his rich dowry and wealth, has no plans to restore the country. In order to force Jin Wengong to leave, Chiang Kai-shek directly killed Jin Wengong's concubine and got her drunk, and then his entourage secretly carried him out by horse. Therefore, in the pre-Qin period, nobles married women with rich dowry.

In the Han dynasty, it was popular for rich people to marry women and send handmaiden! In the pre-Qin period, Shu Ren's position was very low, and he didn't have much money, so the dowry was naturally out of date. It is said that many women who work as maids in palaces or scholar-officials' homes are rewarded to servants. A kind-hearted landlord will attach a dowry and marry him off. After the Qin Dynasty unified the six countries, the original nobles of the six countries also became Shu Ren. After the demise of the Qin Dynasty, the custom of marrying women and giving them "dowry" became popular among the people.

zhuo wenjun and sima xiangru

In the pre-Qin period, when nobles married women, they either gave them handmaiden or horses and chariots. In fact, the same was true in the Han Dynasty. For example, Zhuo Wenjun of the Western Han Dynasty eloped with Sima Xiangru without his parents' consent. Because Sima Xiangru's family is very poor, and they live a poor life, Zhuo Wangsun can't stand it any longer. What about in the historical records? In Biography of Sima Xiangru, "Zhuo Wangsun had no choice but to give Wen Jun 100 people, millions of wealth and their wedding clothes and property." Zhuo Wenjun's father, Zhuo Wangsun, is a rich man. It really hurt his face to see his daughter so poor, so he had to give his daughter Zhuo Wenjun one hundred little maidservants and millions of silver. In fact, the servants and money that Zhuo Wangsun gave to Zhuo Wenjun were all betrothal gifts. Zhuo Wangsun just didn't want his daughter to live in poverty, so he gave them a lot of money.

After Zhuo Wenjun became rich, he and Sima Xiangru returned to Chengdu, bought land and a mansion, and became rich. Since then, he has lived a carefree life, which is really a bit like a fairy tale. It is estimated that many people will say that Sima Xiangru is "eating soft rice". In fact, Sima Xiangru didn't eat soft rice. Sima Xiangru eloped with Zhuo Wenjun not because of Zhuo Wenjun's money, but out of love.

And Zhuo Wenjun's father gave them a lot of money, not sympathy for Sima Xiangru, but sympathy for his daughter. In fact, this situation is rare in the history of our country. Many times, many bride prices are bought and compared. For ordinary people, it is impossible to send handmaiden. However, for the sake of face and wedding, what should ordinary families do if they can't afford handmaiden?

It is said that the present "bridesmaid" and "best man" evolved from the "wedding" in the pre-Qin period to send handmaiden as dowry. In the Han Dynasty, wealthy families gave handmaiden when their daughters got married, while ordinary poor families could not afford handmaiden. So, they thought of a way to make their brothers and children "bridesmaids" and "bridesmaids" serve as maids. If there is no extra money at home, give furniture or other valuable things. So for poor families, sending furniture is the best way. This kind of wedding ceremony has been handed down gradually since the Han Dynasty.

Marrying a wife in the Tang Dynasty was a struggle between Rainbow Kay and Shi Chong for money, and the degree of luxury was amazing! Many people should have read Shi Shuo Xin Yu written by Liu Yiqing, king of Linchuan during the Liu and Song Dynasties in the Southern Dynasties, which contains the story of Wang Kai (uncle of Emperor Wu of Jin Dynasty) fighting with the rich man Shi Chong. After dinner, Wang Kai washed the pot with sugar water, and Shi Chong used candles as firewood. Wang Kai weaves purple silk for forty miles, and Shi Chong weaves colored silk for fifty miles. Emperor Wu of Jin thought it was interesting to compete for wealth, so he gave Wang Kai a coral tree. Once, Wang Kai invited a guest to dinner. After dinner, he showed off with a coral tree and was smashed to pieces by Shi Chong. Everyone present was dumbfounded, and Wang Kai asked Shi Chong to pay compensation. Shi Chong asked the slaves to move six or seven dazzling coral trees from home and let Wang Kai pick them at will. Finally, Wang Kai had to admit his cowardice.

Wang Kai and Shi Chong compete for wealth.

Although the power struggle between Wang Kai and Shi Chong does not involve marriage, you can actually imagine how spectacular the scene would be if the two families were married or married. In fact, since Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, Wang Kai and Shi Chong have been fighting for wealth until the Tang Dynasty.

It is recorded in Zi Jian that he married Princess Tongchang, the daughter of Guo. Because Tang Yizong loved this daughter so much, he spent almost all the treasures and antiques in the court as a dowry. In Chang 'an Guanghua, I also gave a mansion. It is said that the windows of this mansion are decorated with jewels. In the well site of the hospital, the medicine mortar and manger cabinet used at ordinary times are also made of gold and silver, and there is also a basket woven with gold wire, which gave 5 million yuan (strings), and other belongings are too numerous to mention. It can be seen how extravagant the dowry of the royal family in the Tang Dynasty was. Estimates that even Wang Kai and Shi Chong candidly admit defeat.

Tangchao Decoration (Jing Tian)

In fact, the luxury of dowry in aristocratic marriage in the Tang Dynasty has existed since the period of Emperor Taizong. Emperor Taizong and his grandson gave birth to a beautiful daughter named Li Lizhi. Emperor Taizong liked it very much. In the second year of Zhenguan (628), Li Lizhi made Princess Changle. When the princess reached marriageable age, Emperor Taizong was afraid that the princess would be bullied when she married her husband's family, and finally chose Sun Chong, the eldest son of Wuji, as Xu. Later, when the princess got married, the dowry that Emperor Taizong prepared for Princess Changle exceeded the dowry when Princess Changle got married. Because it was against etiquette, Wei Zhi and his grandson opposed it, but Emperor Taizong gave the princess a grand wedding.

Due to the bad social atmosphere, the then prime minister Gao Jian wrote to Emperor Taizong, hoping to ban extravagant marriage customs. So, in the book of New Tang Dynasty? It is recorded in the Biography of Gao Jian: "Officials with more than three products are not allowed to receive 300 yuan, while those with four products and five products should receive 200 yuan, while those with six products and seven products should receive 100 yuan, all of which are betrothal gifts, and the husband's family is forbidden to receive dowry money." Among them, "paying money" is the present bride price. At the time of dowry, the husband's family can't accept the wealth of the woman's family at the time of dowry. Although Emperor Taizong also prohibited this kind of behavior, it could not be implemented. Just like when Tang Yizong was in power, it was so extravagant for the emperor to marry a woman, and the nobles should not show weakness, right?

In the Song Dynasty, financial resources were used as a medium, so a woman should bring a dowry when she got married, otherwise she could not get married! There is a story called "Little Maiden Giving Money to My Daughter" in Volume 16 of Shi Jing Tongyan, which happened in Bianjing, the capital of the Northern Song Dynasty. There is a gentleman who runs a sewing shop, named Zhang Shilian, who is over sixty years old. His family has100000 assets, but he has no children. In order to continue the incense, I found two matchmakers to be matchmakers and gave them three matchmaking conditions. First, the other party should be outstanding in talent and appearance. Second, the portal should be equal. Third, the other party must have a house (dowry) of 100 thousand.

How do you feel after reading this description? Do you think money is the grandfather of the Song Dynasty? A 60-year-old foreign domestic helper, who has100000 assets at home, must ask the other party for a dowry of100000. It's not enough to have a dowry, it's even more beautiful, and it's not enough to have no beauty. Maybe many people think this is just an example. In fact, there are many such examples in the Song Dynasty.

Imitation song beauty

For example, at the end of the Northern Song Dynasty, after surrendering to the State of Jin, his wife, Wang, worried about being dumped, said noisily in front of him: "I married your Qin family, but the Ming media was marrying, and the dowry alone was 200 thousand." Are you leaving me now? " The ancient 1 was about 1 10,000 articles, and the 1 10,000 treaty was now 200 yuan money, with 200,000 articles totaling 40 million yuan. Even now, 40 million is an astronomical figure. It is estimated that in modern society, it is rare to give a bride price of 40 million yuan to anyone who marries a woman. Qin Gui's wife said, this means that I gave you all my property, and you must take me with you, or you will regret your dowry.

Therefore, in the Song Dynasty, it was necessary to have a dowry to marry a woman. If there is no dowry, there is only one situation, that is, "selling women as concubines." In other words, I will sell my daughter, not a dowry, but a bride price. If Ming Media is marrying a married woman, then a grand dowry must be prepared, otherwise the daughter will be sold to others as a little wife. Even if you get married, you will be looked down upon and even divorced.

For example, Tai Ping Guang Ji? Now there is a ghost story, a man named Zhang, whose family was poor when he was a child. There is a local named Geng Yan who does business at home. Because he admires Zhang's virtue, he has been stealing money from his father to help Zhang. Later, he was found by his father and scolded Geng Yan. In order not to get into trouble, Zhang decided to leave his residence and go to Bailu Mountain. Because their relationship was too good to bear, he went to Bailu Mountain with Zhang. When they stayed in the hotel in the evening, they met a guest, and Zhang Renqi kindly invited the guest to drink. It turned out that this man was a ghost, so Zhang asked if this ghost could be an official. The ghost said, "You can be an official, but Geng Yan can't." . Zhang wanted to help, so the ghost told him a way to marry a woman and have a rich future.

Ancient bride

As the ghost was in charge of the local marriage, he told them the name of that family. Let them look for it, say it will rain halfway, and meet when they are hiding from the rain. They walked for six or seven days and it rained. Just as he was sheltering from the rain, Zhang knocked at the door. After a long time, the house didn't open until late because of something. The old woman who opened the door explained, "I only have one daughter, who was previously betrothed to the Zhang family in the West Village. Today's dowry is too rude and contemptuous, and it has been decided to dissolve the engagement. "

Judging from this story, if the dowry is less, it will be divorced. It can be seen that the Song Dynasty really used financial resources as matchmakers. If the dowry at home is not generous, you will face divorce or even get married. It is said that Su Shi's younger brother Su Zhe sold a piece of land and property in order to marry a daughter and received a dowry of 9,400 yuan. In his diary, he said it was "breaking the family and marrying a woman." Even great writers can't avoid the strong marriage wind in Song Dynasty, let alone others. In the Song Dynasty, it was really difficult for a daughter to find a suitable family without a dowry.

Married women in the Ming and Qing dynasties are also very rich, and no one can escape the dowry! Wang Yangming, a famous philosopher in the Ming Dynasty, thought in his book The Complete Works of Wang Wencheng that "men and women should get married in time when they grow up; Often the bride's dowry is not complete, and the man's dowry is not rich, which leads to the winning period; The length of the province and others have since been called whether they have a family or not, and they can get married at any time. "

The meaning of this sentence is. Boys and girls are all grown up, so we should get married in time. When getting married, it often happens that the woman dislikes the man's dowry, and the man dislikes the woman's dowry, which leads to the postponement of the wedding date! Once this happens, it should be reported in time. Moreover, the appointment (township head or clan head) and others should be coordinated from top to bottom to prevent this from happening and ensure that both men and women can get married or get married at the right age!

An ancient bride, an official gown with a badge.

Judging from Wang Yangming's Complete Works of Wang Wencheng, there will also be differences in the Ming Dynasty because of bride price and dowry. But there are differences, and some people are involved in mediation. Then, you can avoid collapse because of bride price or dowry problems.

In the Ming dynasty, handmaiden could be bought and sold, and many rich families could also buy and sell handmaiden as their daughter's dowry. But the dowry of ordinary families is usually bracelets, necklaces, pots, bedding and so on. It is said that there is another custom in Nanjing. There is also a red lacquer chopstick in the dowry of the woman, which means "having children quickly".

The dowry of Qing Dynasty is similar to that of Ming Dynasty in Otawa. For example, there is a story in the collection of novels in the Qing Dynasty, "The local official has a son who is ill. Knowing that his son was in danger, Qi Zhifu wanted to marry a daughter-in-law to celebrate. The local childe married his daughter to Qi Zhifu, and the dowry was very rich. He bought two maids and a page as his dowry. "

Although The Bell is a novel, it also reflects a fact from the side. In Qing dynasty, it was also popular to buy maids and pages as dowry. Especially the dignitaries, this ethos did not die until the Qing Dynasty.

Xiao Sheng, Queen of Xi 'an

To tell the truth, the bride price in ancient times was nothing compared with the dowry when marrying a woman. To marry a wife is to marry the other's daughter, but the other party has to send handmaiden and a lot of money to marry a woman. It can be seen that it is more expensive to marry a woman than a wife in ancient times. Especially those rich families, who live a good life for their daughters, will not be bullied by their in-laws when they get married. Almost half of my property was taken out as my daughter's dowry. And those who are poor and have no dowry are forced to sell women for a living.

Whether ancient or modern, parents actually want their daughters to marry a good man. If you marry a scum man, how rich are you? The result is still unhappy.

In order to avoid bad marriage habits, Yan Zhitui, an educator in the Northern and Southern Dynasties, said in Yan Jiaxun: "Marry a woman, be a good husband, and don't seek re-employment. Marrying a lady is not a matter of thickness. "Marry a daughter, choose a son-in-law with good quality, and don't ask for expensive dowry. Marrying a daughter-in-law requires a lady to be dignified and not care about a heavy dowry. In modern times, because of the preference for boys over girls, there are more men than women, and men are basically afraid to mention dowry when they get married. Now the initiative is basically in the hands of women. In fact, in order to have a perfect and happy marriage, in the face of economic problems, the woman's requirements should not be too harsh, or do what she can. Just like in ancient times, different families should be treated differently.