Are there any funny jokes recently?

Joke! One day when they were shopping, they met God! They told God that they all died miserably and hoped to send them to heaven! God said helplessly, there are too many residents in the sky now, and they are all full. But there's another place! You said, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven! So, the first ghost began to say ... I was a cleaner before I died. Work is very hard! Busy from morning till night! One day, I was cleaning windows outside a building! It's the kind of dangerous work hanging outside at high altitude! On the 30th floor! Suddenly, my foot slipped and fell! I think it's over! I'm dying! But the survival instinct makes me scratch unconsciously! Luckily, I grabbed the railing of a balcony on 13 floor. I feel saved! So I want to climb up after I recover! Who knows, suddenly someone patted my hand and I fell down again! I think I'm really finished now! However, my life should not be decided, and a tent caught me below. I am glad that I must have accumulated virtue in my last life! I want to wait for my physical strength to recover before I go down. Who knows, a refrigerator fell from it and killed me! The second ghost said ... I was a clerk before I died. Everything is fine. I have a beautiful wife. Great figure! But it's just a little water. I have a slight heart attack. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it. As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife's hair disheveled and disheveled. There must be an adulterer. So I looked everywhere in the house, kitchen and toilet, but I couldn't find it. When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing and thought: adulterer! So he patted his hand. I think, 13 floor! See if I can fall to my death! As a result, I didn't die when I looked at it! Caught by the tent! I was in a hurry, so I searched all over the house and went into the kitchen. I found that the refrigerator was big enough and threw it away. Finally smashed him to death! I'm so happy! Laughing a lot. Who knows, laughing so hard, laughing so hard! The third ghost said ... I'm a punk, but I didn't do anything wrong! One day I went to a female friend's house to hang out! Just finished, her husband suddenly came back! I have to find a place to hide. So I searched the kitchen and toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in it! I don't understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator and threw it from the 13 floor! I just fell to my death in my refrigerator! Pig 1 and pig 2 are at the door, and pig 3 is on the roof. Who is the name of pig 1, where is the name of pig 2 and what is the name of pig 3? So there was a wonderful dialogue. (Wolf): Who are you? (Pig 1): Yes (Wolf): What? (Pig) 1: What's on the roof? Wolf: I mean, what's your name? (Pig 1): My name is "Who" and "What" is on the roof! (Wolf asks Pig 2 again): Who are you? Pig 2: I'm not a "who", he is a "who". Pointing to the pig 1 (Wolf): Do you know him? (Pig 2): Hmm! Who is he? (Pig 2): Yes. (Wolf): What? Pig 2: What is on the roof! (Wolf): Where? (Pig 2): "Where" is me. Who? (Pig 2): Who is he? Pointing at the pig 1 (Wolf): How should I know? Pig 2: Who are you looking for? (Wolf): What? Pig 2: He's on the roof? (Wolf): Where? (Pig 2): It's me. Who? Pig 2: I'm not a "who", he is a "who". (Wolf): Good heavens! (Pig 1.2): "My God" is our father. (Wolf): What does your father do? (Pig 2): No! The wolf couldn't stand it anymore and sighed: Why? (Pig 1.2.3): Do you know our grandfather? (Wolf): What? (Pig 1): No, our grandfather is "Why". (Wolf): Why? (Pig 1): Right! (Wolf): What is it? (Pig 1): There is no "why". Who? (Pig 1): Who am I? (Wolf): Who are you? (Pig 1): Yes, who am I? (Wolf): What? Pig 1.2): "What" is on the roof. ~ ~ ~ ~ The wolf shouted, Oh, my God! I'm crazy! So he jumped into the pot and cried, three pig brothers. Eat me, I have no attachment to life! I taught my son, a teacher who went to school in Grade One, to come back from school. Mother asked, "Son, what did the teacher teach you today?" The son said, "He didn't teach me anything, so he asked me,' What is one plus two?' "I taught him to say,' Yes, three'. Three turtles Three turtles came to a restaurant and asked for three cakes. As soon as things were served, they found that there was no money. The tortoise said: I am the oldest, of course, I don't have to go back to withdraw money. The tortoise said: it is most suitable to send a small tortoise. The little turtle said, I can go back and get the money, but after I leave, none of you can touch my cake! The tortoise and the tortoise promised, and the little tortoise left. Because their bellies were empty, the tortoise quickly ate up his cake. However, the little turtle has been missing for a long time. On the third day, the tortoise was so hungry that they all said, let's eat the tortoise's share. Just as they were about to start eating, the little turtle's voice came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to get the money!" " "Love words, please believe me, this will never be a lie. I am sincere to you, but you don't understand. A person who loves you deeply understands how difficult it is to love you, but his infatuation will remain unchanged for life! Please look at the second word in each line. One day, the devil took the princess away, and the princess desperately called for help. Devil: You can scream and break your throat. No one will come to save you. Princess: Break your throat. Nobody: Princess, I'm coming to save you. Devil: Speak of the devil. Cao Cao: Devil, did you call me? Demon: Wow! I saw a ghost! Ghost: Hey! It was still discovered. Or: nonsense, who found me? Who: I'm here to watch the fun. Lively: What do I have to see? Me: What? You dare to call me ugly? You: It's none of my business. Why did you mention me? What: Who said that? Who: I didn't speak. Me: Are you deaf? You are deaf. Can you hear the princess calling for help? Princess: It's none of my business. Who told the devil to arrest me? Who: I didn't? He caught it himself. Devil: ... It is said that the devil suffered from schizophrenia one day. When the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "The teacher said angrily," Just good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? "So the students shouted together:" Good afternoon, teacher! " The teacher said angrily, "What about my evening?" The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!" " The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! "The students shouted," Good morning, good afternoon and good evening, teacher! "The teacher said," Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. Start now. " Teacher: "The weather is fine today." Student: "The weather is terrible today." Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere." Student: "There are clouds everywhere." Teacher: "The road is crowded with people." Student: "There is no one on the road." Teacher: "Young." Student: "Old." Teacher: "Stand." Student: "Lie down" Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road." Student: "There is an old man lying on the road." Teacher: "I found a dollar." Student: "I lost a dollar." Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher." Student: "I stole a teacher and lost a dollar." Teacher: "No, you can't say that!" " Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "Teacher:" Wrong. " Student: "Correct." Teacher: "that won't do, it's illegal!" " Student: "This is ok, this is a legal act!" " Teacher: "I was wrong." Student: "We are right." Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is right!" " Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" " "Teacher:" You are so stupid. " Student: "We are very smart." Teacher: "Stop!" Student: "Go on!" Teacher: "You stop now! Stop it! " Student: "Go on now! Say it! " Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" " "Student:" We are all geniuses, and we say go on! ""teacher: "you listen to the teacher!" Student: "The teacher listens to us!" " "Teacher:" All students have to listen to the teacher! " "Student:" Teachers should listen to students! " "Teacher:" Now you stop practicing! " Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "Teacher:" Are you endless? " Student: "We finish what we started!" " Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! " Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! " ..... and then the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom ~ ~ ~