Give me some jokes to make me laugh. Give me the bonus!

A lady went to practice playing golf with her friends for the first time. When serving, she swung hard, and the ball missed and flew to a group of people. Then she saw a man lying on the ground, his hands between his thighs, rolling down the hill in pain.

The lady immediately ran over to apologize and told the injured person that she had learned some nursing, hoping to check his injury before the ambulance arrived. The injured felt that it was unnecessary, but the lady insisted that others also advised the injured to let her check first, and the injured had to reluctantly agree.

Miss wants the injured person to lie flat first, relax all over, then put his hands flat on his sides, then gently unzip the injured person's pants and reach in and gently touch them. She asked the injured, "How does it feel here?"

The injured said helplessly, "It feels good there, but my thumb still hurts like hell!" " "

A farmer spent a lot of money to buy a batch of hens and wanted to make money by selling eggs. Unexpectedly, hens are listless and never lay eggs. He was in a hurry and went to consult an expert. After the expert inquired about the situation, he told him: "Chickens are also animals, and they have physiological needs. You should buy another batch of cocks." But the farmer has spent a lot of money, and the money in his pocket is only enough to buy a rooster. He has no choice but to buy a rooster. This rooster faces hundreds of peak-to-peak hens. He is determined to kill the thief, and there is nothing he can do. He was exhausted after several times.

The farmer thought hard and came up with a good idea. He took out Viagra, which had been treasured for a long time and was going to take it for himself, and mixed it with chicken feed to feed the cock. After the cock ate Viagra, it was really a blessing in disguise, and it didn't take a day to get all the hens in the chicken farm. Hens are much more diligent when they are nourished by love.

Unexpectedly, the next day, the rooster was still very angry, jumped over the fence and went to the duck house on the farm next door to take all the hundreds of ducks. On the third day, the rooster was still brave and unstoppable. He flew over the river and came to the goose farm on the opposite farm, and took all the hundreds of geese.

Finally, when the farmer went out on the fourth day, he saw the rooster lying on the ground, dying. Several goshawks are hovering in the sky, waiting for an opportunity to pounce on food. The farmer's eyes turned red, thinking that the rooster had made great contributions to the revolutionary cause, he decided to collect the body for it.

The farmer went to the cock and cried, "It's all my fault." Unexpectedly, the rooster said, "Hush, don't make any noise. I'll take care of those eagles when they come down.

One beautiful morning, the sky was clear, but a farmer sat at the door drunk and lost his mind.

A passer-by asked curiously, fellow villager, the weather is so good today, why don't you enjoy it and drink here instead?

The farmer replied, well, there are some things you can never explain.

Passerby: What misfortune happened?

Farmer: Today, when I was milking the cow, I poked it. The cow kicked over the tongs with her left foot.

Passerby: Bad luck, but not bad enough.

Farmer: Well, there are some things that you can never explain.

Passerby: What's next?

Farmer: I tied her left leg to a post with a rope and squeezed it. As a result, a bucket was just full, and she kicked it over with her right leg.

Passers-by asked with a smile, and then what?

Farmer: Well, there are some things that you can never explain. I also tied her right leg to the post, just filled a bucket, and she swept it down with her tail.

Passerby: It's bad enough. Forget it, don't be sad.

Farmer: Well, there are some things that you can never explain.

Passerby: What else? !

Farmer: I don't have a rope this time, so I'm going to tie her tail to the post with a belt. I pulled out my belt and grabbed her tail. At this moment, my pants fell off and my girlfriend came in. ......

Three men were exploring in Africa and accidentally peeked at a sheikh's daughter taking a bath. After being arrested, the leader asked the first person if he wanted to die or play with JJ. Of course, he replied that he wanted to play JJ. So he was pulled down and hit JJ50, screaming.

When asked if the second man wanted to die or play with JJ, he hesitated. Life is worse than death. He also chose to play JJ, so he was pulled down to play JJ 100. He screamed extremely harshly, was dragged back and was dying, and JJ seemed to have been completely abolished.

Ask the third person again, do you want to die or be bounced? He hesitated for a long time, seeing that the two of them were so miserable that everything was broken. He thought it might be a miracle to choose death, at least it was not so painful, so he replied heroically: death.

So the chief said, "Pull it down and play JJ until you die."