joke book

Small jokes, life itself is sweet, everyone likes to bring their own happy people, humorous people are always concerned by everyone in interpersonal communication, if we don't have many humorous cells, we can usually improve our ability in this respect by watching some small jokes.

Short jokes 1

On the cliff, a little mouse waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her looked at it and said anxiously, Dad, don't tell it, it's not ours!

A sleeping party in a boy's dormitory lasted until 3 am, and suddenly I wanted to discuss a question, "What should I say first when I meet a beautiful girl?" A gentleman woke up from a dream and said, "Stop talking and let's go to bed!" "

Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! I won't tell you if you spoil me! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "

The mother bird burst into tears, and the male bird said angrily, "How many times have I told you that this ring was worn by the Bird Research Station, not a wedding ring! I'm not married! "

In a restaurant, woman: Are you going to marry me or not? The man was silent. W: Don't think that nobody wants me. If I get angry, I'll find someone to marry here right away! The waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

Several people watched the sunrise, and one pointed to the treetops and said, I saw it. Others also said they saw it. At this time, someone came out from behind the tree with trousers: I saw it when I saw it. What are you yelling about? !

Generally speaking, boys are not allowed to go to the girls' building and must leave before 8 pm. Otherwise, at 8 o'clock, Aunt Lou will shout loudly: Girls, Fujian.

A village woman went to the market to sell peanuts. When the marketing coordinator charged, she started to run, but she was still caught by the coordinator. The coordinator said, "I wanted to hug you (tax you) yesterday, but I have to hug you (tax you) today."

I was chatting with a group of female colleagues this afternoon, and suddenly someone said I was not a man. I was angry, I said, you said I wasn't, I showed it to you, and the girls all laughed. One of them is the best, saying, you dig, you dig ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ so. . . . . . I took out my ID card.

Snakes, ants, spiders and centipedes play mahjong at home. After eight laps, the cigarette was finished. Let's discuss who to buy cigarettes for. The snake said, I have no feet. I'm not going. Let the ants go. The ant said: A spider has eight feet, more than mine. Let the spider go. The spider said: I can't beat the centipede with more feet. Release the centipede. The centipede was helpless, thinking: No way, who let me have more feet? So centipede went out to buy cigarettes. . . . . . For more than an hour, the centipede didn't come back. Two hours later, the centipede didn't come back to buy cigarettes. So everyone let the spider go out and have a look. As soon as the spider went out, he saw the centipede sitting at the door. The spider was very angry and asked, why don't you go? Everyone is waiting. The centipede was also anxious and said, nonsense! You have to wait for me to put on my shoes! !

Late at night, after correcting the last test paper, Mr. Wang turned on the radio wearily and wanted to listen to music to relax. Dj's voice came from the radio: "All students in Class X, Grade Three, xx Middle School dedicated this song to their beloved teacher Wang xx, thanking him for giving them countless exercises over the years (especially this year) and precious practice opportunities. . . . . . "When I heard that, Mr. Wang's eyes were moist, and a gratified smile appeared on his tired face. The dj went on to say, ". . . . . . Now let's listen to this song, Li Huimin's You Won't Have a Good Result. . . "Eyes turned white, foaming at the mouth, fell to the ground. . . . . .

One day, a driver was robbed while driving, and the roadblock said, "Get off! ! "The barricade added," Do 100 push-ups. " The driver was forced to obey and said, "I've never seen you rob the road like this." After that, the robber said, "Make another 500." The driver did it again, and then the driver was weak and dizzy. The robber shouted to the Woods behind him, "Sister, you can go to town in his car. 20. One day you stood on the bus platform and laughed, causing passers-by to look at you like a rare animal. One of them asked you why you giggled. You fought back your laughter and said proudly, I fooled the ticket buyer and didn't get on the bus.

Short joke daquan 2 has been in line for a while, and I especially hate queuing. I feel that time has been wasted and I am very unhappy. But then I thought about it, mainly because of my problem: generally speaking, the poorer people are, the more time they wait in line in their lives. My colleague arranged a blind date with my sister. Before the food was served, she suddenly got up: "I'm bored, so I'll go first, okay?" Then he left. I had to endure tears and eat all the dishes for both of them, because I vomited after eating too much. Mistakes Your dog doesn't know you can make mistakes. When you get up at night and trip over it in the dark, it will only think that you get up and kick its head. When I was shopping, I saw two people quarreling, and the louder the quarrel, the more fierce it became. I guess they will fight, and there are melon seeds in their pockets, so they eat and watch. Then they hit me together.

Choosing a is the face value of the goddess. Regardless of temperament or figure, it is one in a hundred, just a little cold and a little silent. Usually, a person doesn't know what he is thinking.

B is a lovely girl, good-looking, cheerful, and likes to reply messages every second, always looking for topics. You will feel relaxed with her. Then ask: What do they have to do with you? You've been here for a long time. Looking back on the past, I always thought that being addicted to the Internet affected my efforts and progress, and I struggled in the abyss of being disconnected from the Internet and retreating from Weibo. Now re-examine my life, it is obvious that vulgar and false efforts in the eyes of the secular have affected my mood of surfing the Internet! After correcting my thoughts, I suddenly became enlightened. Learn about the world by brushing Weibo, exercise your brain by playing games, and cultivate your body and mind by watching videos. My life has a bright future! My cousin in college told me that she couldn't stand boys like Little White Rabbit, and thought everyone was good people, just like idiots. Every time I see such a boy, she wants to sleep with him, making him realize that society is sinister and people are unpredictable. On the way home from school, she suddenly said, "Mom, I want to eat three ice creams today!

Me: "children can't eat that much, they can only eat one!" " "she:" good! "Looking at my daughter happily eating ice cream, I was lost in thought. Boys who have a crush on the basketball team in high school. Once, after he played basketball, I handed him water, which was 20 centimeters higher than me. I looked up and saw him sweating and panting. At that moment, I thought he was like an orangutan, and then this secret love came to an abrupt end. For example, including me, there were thirteen girls in my middle school class. A playboy boy in the class likes all the twelve girls, and it's almost his turn to like me. He transferred to another school.

When I bought salt, there was no salt at home, so I gave my son five dollars and said, "Go to the newly opened shop downstairs and see if there is any salt." Then he left happily with the money. After a while, he came back with a few packets of spicy strips in his hand and said while eating, "Dad, there is salt in the shop." Life is like a play, you are your own director. Of course, your boss is a producer, your parents are screenwriters, and your target is big names. Anyone can guide you.