Who has a funny little joke?

1. A boy next to him said, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" (Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed until I sprayed the soup.

2. One day I ate in a rice noodle shop and was very hungry. Finally, I couldn't bear to strike the table and roar. I wanted to say no to rice noodles, so I would lift the table! The result said, "Boss! ! I'll eat the table without rice noodles! ! "

The whole store was silent for 3 seconds, and then burst into laughter under the table ... shame. ...

3. Once I went to buy mutton kebabs, I held out four fingers and said "three mutton kebabs" to my boss.

The boss was cheated: "How much?"

I held out three more fingers and said "four" ...

Our general manager's surname is Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou ..."

5. My name is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the unit. Someone called my cell phone once. "Chicken head, are you in the pigsty?" I was yelling at that guy.

6. The unit toasted, a leader said. "I wish you good health ..." Hold your breath and be speechless.

7. When my parents quarreled, my father said angrily, "I want to go out!"

8. I play basketball in high school. After getting the ball, A selflessly passed it to B, and B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball, A shouted to pass it to him, but B threw it himself. As a result, A shouted angrily. I was really blind just now ...

10. In my impression, the monitor of the primary school is extremely serious. A self-study class, the classroom was crowded with people. After several times of maintaining order, the monitor was finally fed up. He stood up, patted the table and shouted, whoever makes any more noise will break his mouth! ! ! ..... There was silence in the class.

1 1. I just went to college for military training. The company commander didn't know where the accent came from and shouted the password-"Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!"

12. I remember once telling my colleagues in the office that so-and-so was like a farmer, rustic, simple and lovely, and everyone said yes, like a farmer. Suddenly the phone rang, and the colleague who answered the phone actually said, Hello, farmer! ~

13. A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write festivals? I replied: add a festival section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix! All the staff burst into laughter! I haven't replied yet!

14. When I was cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots. "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!"

15. When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate. I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago …" What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student."

16. When I was a child, I wrote: Our lives were exchanged for the blood of my uncle in the People's Liberation Army. As a result, when I got up and recited it, I read, "Our lives were bought by the uncle of the People's Liberation Army with fresh fish. ...

17. The physics teacher talked about Bo. "This is a thick spring. I pushed it from both ends to see if it became dense (constipation)? "

18. Drink with leaders and others, raise your glass and say loudly, "Let's die together!" My brain was too hot. ......

19. Boss, do you have a toilet paper hunger card?

After the impassioned speech by the trade union chairman, the last sentence reached its climax. Comrades, let's do our work better this year than next year! The whole audience fell.

2 1. Once I went to the market to buy food for dinner, a Korean friend bought lettuce from 2.4 yuan. He gave all the change to the vendor, and he was still short of a dime, so he said to the vendor-

"I gave you all my hair, so I have no hair."

The peddler was speechless, and it took him a long time to answer-

I don't want your hair.

22. The manager usually tells smokers at the meeting. All smokers were strangled! !

23. My mother has cervical spondylosis and puts medicine on her neck every day. One day I asked her, "Did you kill yourself with drugs?" My mother stared at me doubtfully and said, "I'm not going to commit suicide yet!" " "

24. One day at noon, my mother asked my brother to move the dining table to the side. My brother hasn't moved his nest for a long time, and my mother always says so when she is in a hurry. "Did you hear that? ! I told you to move the table two kilometers to the side. "

25. Once I booked a hotel for my boss, I wanted to ask if people had free Internet access and other services. I couldn't figure out how to say it, so I asked the other party, "Do you have any special services here?" The other party: "What? Special service We are a regular hotel! "

26. Old four got out of bed in the dormitory and looked for slippers for a long time. No, ask everyone. Why are my slippers?

27. When shopping, my friend suddenly exclaimed, "Wow! * * Bookstore! " I feel horrible. I looked up and saw a plaque with four big characters-foreign language bookstore!

28. When I was in college, I heard a girl order food. Master fried a plate of hot and sour shredded potatoes, not potatoes!

29. 10 minutes after class, the deskmate raised her hand and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet.

The English teacher said unhappily. How old are you to go to the toilet?

30. Have dinner with a group of friends

One of them was probably betrayed by his brother. He was depressed, drank a lot of beer, and then stood up with a loud cry.

Brother! Not for sale!

I think what I'm trying to say is that brothers are not for sale

At that time, more than a dozen people at our table were lying down.