Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Wang's "Mom, I Love You"

Wang's "Mom, I Love You"

Mom, I love you.

Question: Do you know your mother's age and birthday?

The answer is yes, accounting for 4 1.5%.

Question: Do you know the clothes your mother likes to wear and the dishes she likes to eat?

The answer is yes, accounting for 34.7%. Nine of them replied that their mother likes to eat fish heads, fish tails, chicken necks and chicken feet. ...

Question: Do you know your mother's dreams, happiness and pain?

The answer is yes, accounting for 20.3%.

Question: Have you ever known your mother on your own initiative?

The answer is yes, accounting for 9%.

……

On May 8th, Teacher An's girlfriend Fangfang came to the class and made a questionnaire survey about her mother. When Fangfang put the above results in front of Teacher An, Fangfang said emotionally, "Look, this is your student! Is this how you teach students? "

Teacher An smiled generously and said, "I am willing to accept your criticisms and suggestions with an open mind." Teacher An is the backbone teacher and grade leader of this key school. She has been teaching the graduating class and serving as the head teacher. The enrollment rate of his class has been far ahead of the whole school. Many parents are scrambling to send their children to his class. Once a private school tried to poach him with an annual salary of100000.

Teacher An didn't take his girlfriend's investigation seriously at first. Fangfang is a reporter of an evening newspaper. It is her bounden duty to find news hot spots and write a good manuscript, just as he must put improving students' test scores above everything else. Fangfang's questionnaire survey was written for Mother's Day.

"Mother sent us to this world. Mother is our closest person, but how much do we know about mother? What can a person who can't love his mother expect him to love? " Fangfang stared at Teacher An's eyes. "You know my birthday, what clothes I like to spend, what I say to make me happy, what gifts I buy to make me happy, and even what snacks I like to eat ... Will you treat your mother like this?"

Teacher An couldn't laugh, and she didn't dare to look Fangfang in the eye.

Fangfang is serious and efficient. Based on this survey, she wrote an article entitled "Please Love Our Mother" that day. As soon as this article was published in the evening paper the next day, it had a great response among readers.

Fangfang gave ten evening papers with this article to Teacher An. She said, "Please read this article for your students!"

Teacher An got a sneak peek.

After reading Fangfang's article, Teacher An did two things: The first thing was to take time to go home and go shopping with her mother. "Well, what street? Did something happen at school? Fangfang has a problem with you? " Mother was not so excited as Teacher An imagined, but unexpectedly nervous. "Nothing, just want to spend time with my mother." Teacher An tried to speak easily, but her nose was sour. In my impression, this is the first time he went shopping with his mother.

The second thing is that Teacher An arranged a special homework for the class, that is, when I go home tonight, everyone should say a word to my mother: "Mom, I love you!" " "Then write a composition on this sentence.

"Teacher, is this composition still about 800 words?" Teacher An was about to leave the classroom when the boy Xia Zhihang asked.

Teacher An waited for a while, looked at Xia Zhihang calmly and said, "This composition is not limited to words, but it must have true feelings!"

2

Since Xia Zhihang knew that he could finish his composition through the Internet, he felt that writing a composition was completely technical.

Completing "Mom, I love you" is no exception.

After Xia Zhihang entered the keyword "composition about maternal love", the text he wanted popped up on the computer screen.

Xia Zhihang's cleverness lies in not completely copying a certain paragraph. There is a joke circulating among classmates: in a composition written by a primary school teacher, there are twelve people in the class who look exactly alike. Moreover, these twelve students were not in the same campus at all when they were studying in primary school. Xia Zhihang used the method of "a hundred schools of thought contend". For example, the composition completed today consists of at least six compositions, and the number of words is controlled at a very auspicious number: 888. Say as much as you want! This is the advantage of computers.

And print it out.

After reading the composition completely, Xia Zhihang felt very good. The mother in the article is dressed simply and has a gentle smile. Because of hard work, there is silver in her hair, and her once slender white hands have become thick and rough. She takes good care of Xia Zhihang. Winter came. For the warmth of Xia Zhihang, my mother went to bed in the middle of the night to knit him a sweater, and her hands were swollen with cold. Mother washes her hands every day, but her swollen hands never get better, and then fester, which makes people feel unspeakable bitterness and emotion. Also quoted Meng Jiao's Ode to a Wanderer.

This is an article that integrates narration, description, discussion and lyricism. The article ends with "Mom, I love you", which not only sublimates the emotion, but also cleverly points out the topic, killing two birds with one stone.

Look, it's still early Xia Zhihang is going to play games for a while. Anyway, mom is not at home today.

My mother went to menstruation's home in Yuncheng by train. My mother's trip is at least five days. It seems unprecedented that mom has been away from home for such a long time. My mother is a cashier in a supermarket. She is always busy, especially on holidays. These five days are very rare and abnormal for my mother.

Unfortunately, Xia Zhihang didn't expect it.

When my mother first told Xia Zhihang about it, Xia Zhihang casually said, "You go, I'm fine, I'm not a primary school student."

Xia Zhihang was vaguely happy for his mother's trip. These five days, without his mother's eyes and nagging, he doesn't have to go home on time, and he doesn't have to sit in front of the computer or TV and worry about his mother yelling. These five days belong to him completely.

At the beginning of the game, someone knocked at the door.

It turned out to be aunt Liu, a neighbor.

"Small air, you didn't play games? Do your homework well and go to bed early. What's the matter, call aunt ... "Aunt Liu said to Xia Zhihang at the door. There is no doubt that my mother took care of Aunt Liu.

Xia Zhihang ignored what Aunt Liu saw. He said perfunctorily, "There is no game, I am doing my homework."

"No, you can't teach your mother to worry, your mother is not easy!" Aunt Liu also takes care of Xia Zhihang, closes the doors and windows, and pays attention to safety when using electricity and gas. In fact, these mothers have taken care of them. My mother has prepared all the food for these five days and put it in the refrigerator. Anything that is hot can be eaten.

Back to the computer, Xia Zhihang smiled and felt smug. He said in his heart that his mother didn't trust him, but there was nothing he could do.

Less than a minute after sitting down, the phone rang and it was mom. Did mom feel what Xia Zhihang was thinking and doing at this moment?

Mother's voice seems a little tired: "Xiao Hang, have you eaten?" What are you doing now? Not playing games ... "

"I'm doing my homework!" Xia Zhihang interrupted his mother.

"What's the matter, please ask Aunt Liu for help, or let my uncle come over ..."

"I know!" Xia Zhihang said impatiently. Mom's words have been said at home.

Xia Zhihang can say to his mother before hanging up: "Mom, I love you!" " "Besides, this is also a good time, but it's a pity that Xia Zhihang didn't call. He forgot that this sentence was also included in that special assignment. When Mr. An made this request, many people laughed and found it very funny. It is estimated that not many people take this sentence to heart. Of course, Xia Zhihang said it in his composition. However, Xia Zhihang in that composition is not Xia Zhihang in life, and that mother is not a mother in life. It is the product of science and technology.

Xia Zhihang didn't know that the moment he put the phone down, he had lost the opportunity to say this to his mother forever.

three

This is a recess in the afternoon of May 12. Xia Zhihang watched with a sense of accomplishment that his composition was posted on the wall behind the classroom by Teacher An. There are more than a dozen compositions there, all of which are selected by Teacher An from 48 compositions handed in, and they are of certain quality.

"It should be said that these compositions basically express sincere feelings for their mothers. I hope everyone will take a good look! " Teacher An said solemnly after posting. Things like this are usually done by the monitor. Teacher An posted them in person to show her attitude towards this matter-the mother belongs to her son completely, but the son doesn't belong to her completely. This is the conclusion reached by Teacher An after shopping with her mother that day.

Teacher An walked out of the classroom, and many students gathered around to read the composition.

"Xia Zhihang, did you copy my composition? Here is a paragraph similar to the one above my composition. I want to sue you. " A boy read Xia Zhihang's composition and said cheekily.

Xia Zhihang also said cheekily, "Why don't you copy mine?"

"Old Ann is so unfair. Compared with you, my composition is not inferior at all, and I can go to the wall completely. Is there any shady inside? " Another boy said painfully.

At this moment, a young man rushed in from the outside.

"Xiao Hang, come with me!" The young man started sailing in the summer and then left.

"Uncle, what are you doing?" Xia Zhihang struggled.

"Let's go!" Xia Zhihang's uncle almost cried out.

"You let me tidy up my bag! What the hell is going on? "

My uncle ignored me and took Xia Zhihang and ran away.

Out of school, my uncle pushed Xia Zhihang into a taxi parked on the side of the road.

When I got on the bus, my uncle said to the driver, "Airport!"

Airport? What are you doing at the airport? Xia Zhihang suddenly felt uneasy. At this time, my uncle stretched out a hand to hug him, with tears in his eyes, shaking like a cold.

"Uncle ..." Xia Zhihang cried timidly.

"Your mother ..." My uncle's tears came and I couldn't go on.

My mother ...? "Xia Zhihang stared at my uncle in horror, but did not dare to ask.

A great event in life happened without warning: a passenger plane that took off from Yuncheng crashed on the way to Xia Zhihang's city. All 76 passengers and crew on board were killed.

Xia Zhihang's mother was on the plane that crashed.

Next, Xia Zhihang seemed to be dreaming. Is it because things are too sudden? Is it because things are like the sky is falling? Xia Zhihang has no sadness, no pain, and no crying. He is stupefied and silly, just like a puppet. What he should do and how to do it are all told by others. I did, but those things didn't enter his heart at all It seems to have nothing to do with him. Even if my uncle handed him a black box and asked him to take it, Xia Zhihang still looked indifferent.

This box, which Xia Zhihang held once before, was still warm the day he came out of the crematorium, but it is hard and cold in his hand today. Lying in the box is my mother, a 42-year-old mother. This mother will never talk to Xia Zhihang or smile at Xia Zhihang. She will never wake up.

My uncle asked Xia Zhihang to walk in front of everyone with the box, and Xia Zhihang walked in front of everyone.

Behind Xia Zhihang is a long line, marching slowly. There was no sound except some deep cries.

The sky is sunny and windless. Xia Zhihang felt cold, and his teeth chattered with cold.

When the box was put into the hole dug in advance, the cry sounded earth-shattering, heartbreaking and heartbreaking. ...

Xia Zhihang also cried, only tears, no sound, as if crying because of other people's crying.

Then, Xia Zhihang was led into the home by Xia Kaiyuan.

four

Xia Zhihang slowly opened his eyes, consciousness has not returned to his mind, his eyes dim and confused.

"He's awake!" A voice said it was a woman's voice.

This is not mom's voice. Mom's voice is crisp and neat. "Xiao Hang, get up!" Mom calls him that every morning. If Xia Zhihang is still awake, she will unequivocally come and wake him up. "Wake up? Xiao Hang? " A face leaned towards him, and at the same time a breath forced him.

This is not mom's face, nor is it mom's breath.

Xia Zhihang sat up in horror.

"Don't be afraid, I'm dad." A man said.

Xia Zhihang's eyes slowly converge into a point and fall on the man's face. It was Xia Kaiyuan. How can these two people be by his side?

Xia Zhihang looked at Xia Kaiyuan doubtfully, and then at the woman called "goblin" by her mother.

"Xiao Hang, you have slept for two days!" The woman said. This woman has a flattering smile on her face. 、

"Two days?" Xia Zhihang said in his heart. He only vaguely remembers that he had a long dream in which he walked on a long road. It's a long road in Xiu Yuan, and his legs are as heavy as lead. ...

When my mother divorced Xia Kaiyuan, Xia Zhihang slept in such a daze.

Xia Zhihang's eyes flitted around the room in vain. Xia Zhihang finally understood that the room he slept in was not his own room, but someone else's home.

Xia Zhihang turned over and got out of bed. His head was dizzy and painful because of his hurry. He had a rest in bed for a while, and then he was busy getting dressed. He wants to go home, to his own home, to his mother's home.

Xia Kaiyuan saw the meaning of Xia Zhihang. He stopped Xia Zhihang and said, "You stay with your father for a few days first. I don't trust you at home alone ... "

"I want to be with my mother!" Xia Zhihang shouted. At the beginning in court, Xia Zhihang also said so.

Xia Kaiyuan and the woman looked at Xia Zhihang in surprise.

Two people's eyes opened a gap in Xia Zhihang's memory, which penetrated into my uncle bit by bit and dragged him out of the school that afternoon. ...

Xia Zhihang's heart stung: He has no mother!

After breakfast, Xia Zhihang goes to school. He rode a bicycle, and the wheels rolled slowly, making a slight "click" sound. This voice made Xia Zhihang feel strangely quiet behind him. Xia Zhihang couldn't help crying. "Mom-"

No one promised behind him.

Xia Zhi turned his head after heading the ball, and there was no mother behind him.

Xia Zhihang goes to school and goes out with his mother every day. They only live on the same street. It is often Xia Zhihang who rides a bike in front and his mother rides a bike in the back. Xia Zhihang doesn't talk at ordinary times, but his mother talks. Mom's words are nothing more than studying hard at school, not being naughty, not being a bad boy, and fighting for breath for that person ... These words have been said by mom countless times. At the end of the street, my mother will stop the car and say to Xia Zhihang, "Ride slowly and be careful!" At this time, Xia Zhihang hardly looked back. Mom watched Xia Zhihang walk away, then got on the bus, went to the market to buy food or went to work in the supermarket.

There is no mother behind, not only quiet, but also quiet and empty. This sense of emptiness has been accompanied by Xia Zhihang to school.

Xia Zhihang hasn't been to school for four or five days. Seeing the school, he narrowed his eyes slightly, as if he didn't know it. Then he lowered his head and pushed the car in.

The students all know Xia Zhihang. Even if it's not Xia Zhihang's mother, who doesn't know that such a big thing has happened?

No one greeted Xia Zhihang. They looked at Xia Zhihang silently and sympathetically. His pallor, weakness and dim eyes tell them that the happy and cynical Xia Zhihang has disappeared, thus realizing what a "disaster" is.

Xia Zhihang didn't say hello to anyone. He sat in his seat silently and took out books and stationery. The books are not opened, nor are the stationery. There is a trace of timidity, panic and shyness in his eyes, and his eyes always don't know where to fall. No matter where his eyes drift, it seems that he can meet a sympathetic look from a classmate. These eyes silently told him that his mother had passed away!

Teacher An talked to Xia Zhihang once. Xia Zhihang came out of the office but didn't know what Teacher An told him.

The day ended in despair.

After school, it was Xia Kaiyuan who came to take him back to his home that did not belong to Xia Zhihang.

Xia Kaiyuan is very polite, and so is that woman. They deliberately put an unreal smile on their faces. "Are you full?" "Eat more!" "Say what you want to say!" ..... Their words are too polite.

In the evening, Xia Zhihang neither reads books nor does his homework. He lay in bed early. He always falls asleep quickly, but he always wakes up before dawn. When he wakes up, he is always confused at home. He couldn't help calling out "Mom-"and listening. There was no sound, and then tears quietly fell from his eyes and his heart was empty. Such days continued until Xia Kaiyuan proposed to buy a house-the house where he and his mother lived.

five

It's already after supper, but the dishes on the table haven't been cleaned up yet.

With a cautious smile on his face, Xia Kaiyuan looked at the woman beside him and said to Xia Zhihang, "Xiao Hang, dad wants to discuss something with you ..."

Xia Zhihang looked at Xia Kaiyuan.

Xia Kaiyuan said: "I am also very sad that such a thing happened. This is a natural and man-made disaster. There's nothing we can do. The living must live well, right? " Dad wants to sell the house where you live. Anyway, since this happened, you have to live with your father. You are his son. How nice it is to live together as a family. We can buy bigger and better houses in the future ... "

"I will treat you like a son!" The woman said at once.

Xia Zhihang looked at them stupefied. After a while, Xia Zhihang seemed to remember the same thing and asked, "Where do I live?"

"Come and live with us!" The woman said.

Xia Kaiyuan nodded and said, "We have been raising you and sending you to college ..."

Xia Zhihang didn't say anything, turned and left the table. Faced with such a major problem, Xia Zhihang has never made a choice. When my mother was alive, she arranged everything for Xia Zhihang, thoughtful and meticulous. Selling a house is such a big matter that it is natural for mom to make a decision.

The next morning, Xia Kaiyuan did not go to school. He goes to his and his mother's home by bike.

As soon as I opened the door, a long-lost breath came to my face. Xia Zhihang took a deep breath. This is his home, and that kind of breath is integrated with his mother's breath.

"Mom-"Xia Zhihang moved his lips, as if his mother couldn't bear to wake her up when she was asleep, and as if her mother was concentrating on housework and didn't want to disturb her.

Xia Zhihang took a step gently, and his eyes looked at it brightly. Everything remains the same, especially mom's things. My mother's clothes for work are casually draped on the back of the chair, as if my mother is just going out for a while and will be back soon.

My feet took Xia Zhihang to my room, to my mother's room, to the kitchen and to every corner of my home. Xia Zhihang also opened the refrigerator, and he saw that the fish he had left was still there. This fish has only one head and one tail. It eats all its bodies. Every time he cooks fish, he eats his body and the rest is eaten by his mother. Before mom left, Xia Zhihang cooked all the dishes he wanted to eat for four or five days, and he just needed to heat them up.

Mother's breath is everywhere, but I can't see her shadow, even if it's just a photo.

An emotion called "missing" flooded into Xia Zhihang's heart.

Mom should have pictures. Xia Zhihang wants to find a photo of his mother.

Xia Zhihang first found a bookkeeping book, which recorded the income and expenditure of the family:

××× Xiao Hang pants: 48 yuan.

Date of study: 50 yuan.

……

Seeing these two lines, Xia Zhihang felt a heat on his face.

The so-called "Xiao Hang's pants" are now worn on Xia Zhihang-these pants were put forward by Xia Zhihang to buy, and they need to buy famous brands. So my mother bought a pair of pants, the brand is Benirall, an authentic brand. Mom told Xia Zhihang that it took 185 yuan to buy pants. It turned out that my mother bought a fake brand name, and it was only in 48 yuan.

The so-called "learning materials 50 yuan" is an excuse for Xia Zhihang to compile pocket money. Mom is always picky about money. Mother often says to him, "Save it, there will be many days to spend money in the future!" " "

Below the account book are three medical records and a stack of hospital invoices. Three medical records, from different hospitals, although the words on them are flying like a dragon and a phoenix, Xia Zhihang can still recognize some of them. They are like a knife inserted in Xia Zhihang's heart: "tumor", "canceration", "diffusion" and "resection" ...

Mom has cancer? Xia Zhihang's heart was shaking, and he didn't believe it. All he knows is that his mother seldom smiles comfortably. She is always tired and weak, and sometimes she shows irritability and paleness.

Looking through the medical records, Xia Zhihang found that her mother had a breast tumor five years ago and had an operation two years later. Last year, she found a relapse and showed signs of cancer. This year, she was diagnosed with cancer and had to undergo resection ... all this, my mother never told him, not at all!

What kind of pain did mom endure? Who will share the mother's pain? Why didn't mom tell Xia Zhihang? Xia Zhihang is her son!

Xia Zhihang should be able to feel something from her mother's daily behavior, such as her illness, her constant buying of medicine, and her groaning in pain, but Xia Zhihang never took the initiative to ask her. Xia Zhihang remembered one thing. Once he was sent to his grandmother's house and stayed for fifteen days. Now I think it was the day his mother had surgery. Mother has cancer, but she still goes to work, cooks for him, washes his clothes and takes care of everything. However, Xia Zhihang didn't pour a glass of water for his mother, didn't give a word of caring and attentive, and even felt that his mother was born weak and sick.

In terms of time, it was after her mother had an operation that Xia Kaiyuan began to have conflicts with her mother.

So, does Xia Kaiyuan know that his mother has cancer? Aunt, do they know?

Xia Zhihang shivered and pressed his aunt's phone.

"We all know, but we didn't tell you!" The aunt on the other end of the phone said sadly, "Your mother is afraid that you will be distracted and affect your study ..."

Xia Zhihang choked up.

Aunt choked up, too. She sobbed and told Xia Zhihang: It was my aunt's idea for mom to go to Yuncheng this time. On the one hand, I let my mother relax, on the other hand, my mother found a best doctor of traditional Chinese medicine in Yuncheng and wanted to take her to see a doctor. My mother had planned to stay in Yuncheng for five days, but she didn't trust Xia Zhihang and came back on the third day. My aunt bought a plane ticket for my mother. My aunt knows that my mother wanted to fly once since she was a child. If it weren't for my aunt, how could my mother want to fly? Xiao Yan bought an insurance policy for her mother when she bought the plane ticket. When my mother heard that the insured would get a lot of compensation if there was an accident, she gritted her teeth and bought another insurance. "If something really happens, my sick body can earn some money for Xiao Hang, and it's worth it!" That's what mom said then.

A disaster. Unfortunately, my mother was right.

Mother exchanged her life for more than 400,000 yuan in compensation.

"Xiao Hang, don't let your mother down ..." Aunt sobbed.

six

Xia Zhihang wants to find photos of his mother more and more.

Why didn't mom leave a photo? Isn't it on the ID card? Xia Zhihang didn't find his mother's ID card. In fact, my mother's ID card and my mother "crashed" in the sky.

Xia Zhihang has searched all possible places in the family to put photos. Xia Zhihang did find many photos of him in the bedside table. These photos are placed in a beautiful photo album, arranged in chronological order and marked with specific dates. From birth to baby, from baby to baby, from baby to primary school students wearing red scarves, from primary school students to middle school students with sparse fur on their lips ... These photos record the track of Xia Zhihang's healthy growth.

As you can imagine, my mother treasures these photos like treasures. How many nights, my mother looked at these photos alone under the lamp. What kind of feelings should that be? Maybe it's joy, maybe it's relief, because the child in the photo grows up day by day in front of his eyes. She has paid her due. As long as she lives for one day, even if she has only one breath, she will continue to pay with all her money, pay her hard work, pay her hard work. ...

This is mom!

Finally, Xia Zhihang found a photo in a drawer. There is a newspaper at the bottom of the drawer, and this photo is placed under the newspaper. Half a photo, to be exact, and the other half was cut.

The photo shows a woman in a wedding dress with a shy and happy smile on her face. How young and beautiful she is!

Is this mom? If Xia Zhihang didn't see his mother's wedding photo, he wouldn't associate this person with his mother. If the mother in the photo is a bright flower, then the mother in Xia Zhihang's memory is a grass, a grass beaten by severe frost.

Tears blurred Xia Zhihang's eyes.

"Mom-"Xia Zhihang muttered, as if to ask her mother to come down from the photo and come to him, put her warm hand on his shoulder and nag him. ...

"Mom, I love you!" Xia Zhihang finally said what Teacher An asked them to say. He held the photo tightly in his arms, just like holding his mother.

"Mom, I love you!" Xia Zhihang hopes that his mother can hear his call. As long as his mother can hear him and smile at him, he will do anything.

"Mom-"Tears burst out like a burst river.

"Mom," the cry rushed out of Xia Zhihang's chest, like wind and waves rolling over the treetops. Xia Zhihang was heartbroken and moved to cry. This is the first time that Xia Zhihang burst into tears after his mother died.

The crying attracted her neighbor Aunt Liu. Aunt Liu is here. She didn't bother Xia Zhihang, just wiped her tears and said to herself, "Poor child, have a good cry ..."

Aunt Liu quietly retired.

Xia Zhihang went on to do two things: the first thing was to tell Xia Kaiyuan clearly that the house was not for sale, that he wanted to live with his mother, that the house smelled of her, and that he wanted to protect everything his mother gave him. The second thing is to tear his composition off the wall-mother's love can't be expressed in words.

"Please love your mother!" Xia Zhihang really wants to tell all his classmates.