Urgent for homophonic jokes

People are old and rambling. Why don't you fight?

1. The position is not too high, the salary is not too high, and the blood pressure and blood lipid are high;

Politics is not prominent, business is not prominent, and lumbar disc is prominent;

The conference does not speak, the meeting does not speak, and the prostate is inflamed;

Cooking is super paste, cooking is very paste, mahjong is not stupid.

Criticizing superiors, the official position is difficult to protect; Criticism at the same level is difficult to relate to;

Criticize subordinates and reduce the number of votes; Criticize yourself and ask for trouble;

Criticize his wife, she runs around; Criticize her husband, and he will mess around;

Congratulations: the stock price fell, you didn't light the gun, your mobile phone slipped into the sewer, your stomach ached, and you took the wrong medicine.

2. I want to be an emperor, but I am afraid of verbosity; Want to be an official, afraid of many things; I want to eat, but I'm afraid of washing the pot. I really want to hit you, for fear of getting into trouble.

Snowflakes are floating in the cold sky, ice stubble is hanging on the green tree, and beautiful shoes show your feet. You turned out to be a fool.

4. Why is the sky so dark? Because there are cows flying in the sky. Why do cows fly in the sky? Because you blow on the ground!

5. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

6. Two charming children got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!

7. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and there is not a word of truth that people say; Men can rely on it, and pigs can climb trees.

8. Long road of life, who is better! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!

Xiaoming: Because the house price is too high now, my family can only afford 50 square meters of breasts.

Xiaoming: I'm too young to jump over a cleavage one meter wide.

Xiao Ming scratched his head: Teacher, I really can't remember. My nipples are almost broken.

First, when I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "I have been suffering for six years and have no food to eat. I have to dig my nose to eat." .

9. Eldest brother and second child fly, and second child gets airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half a bag and throw up."

10. One day, the eldest brother and the second son went to the theater again. When they saw that they were arguing about the development of the plot, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser needs a taste of what's there." . The second child lost, only to see the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "

1 1. You are the gift with the heaviest feces since you had feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!

12. There was a man who had a middle-aged son and liked him very much. He tried to bring up his son and put him through college. His son is wearing a suit and tie, and his face is red, but he is ragged and hungry. He saved money to buy a house for his son, married a wife, and became old himself. However, his son was unfilial and kicked him out of the house on a stormy night. The old man came to a ruined temple to take shelter from the rain. The old man was very sad and sighed: God, why is it so unfair to me? After a flash of lightning, an old voice said, "This is karma." At this time, the old man saw an older man coming in and out of the corner of the ruined temple. The old man was startled: "Are you a god?" The older man said, "asshole! You kicked me out more than twenty years ago. I'm your father. You don't know me anymore? "

1. A bear is coming/ready (the bear is coming).

2. The eleventh book/Unbelievable (BOOK 1 1)

Xiaoyu told Xiaoming that her father was impotent/unable to stop (Jade's father couldn't).

5. The sheep stopped breathing/expanding (the sheep didn't exhale)

6. Never drop your mobile phone into the toilet. It's now or never, and it won't come again (wet).

7. The dog stopped barking when he crossed the wooden bridge/never forgets anything (never barked when he walked through the Woods)

8. Bees stop on the calendar/the sun is shining (bees and calendars)

10. painters prefer to draw thick ropes rather than thin ropes /superb (thick ropes in painting)

13. There are ten sheep, nine in the sheepfold and one in the pigsty /cadence.

14. the sheep calls the eagle, and the eagle picks up the phone and says "hello"/"yes" (the sheep calls the eagle "hello")

15. When the hat is dirty, you should turn it over and put on a dirty hat.

16. Ten men watch five women take a bath/colorful.

17. Who doesn't have a phone? /Tianyi (seamless mobile phone)

Who knows birds best? /bow to scare the birds and know the birds.

22. How to make the sparrow quiet? /Press it (to silence the bird)

23. What kind of snake has many mouths? /conflicting views (snake)

25. What medicine is not poisonous? /yam

26. Why "seven ups and eight downs"/seven ups and eight downs? Because eight is lower than seven.

27. What kind of snake has the strongest vitality? /Three-inch golden tongue (snake)

28. Why is the iceberg just the tip of the iceberg? /The other corner was broken by the Titanic.

1. One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

2. It is said that there is a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, he has to wear sunglasses to see things, but he can't find sunglasses, so he crawls around on the ground with his eyes closed and crawls until his hands and feet are dirty. Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find: Oh, I'm a panda.

3. Xiao Bai, Huang Xiao and Xiao Lan take a long-distance bus. Who gets carsick? (White rabbit, dusk)

4. Xiaobai+Xiaobai =? A: White Rabbit (Xiaobaier)

5. What animal falls down most easily? Fox, because he is the most cunning.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. Spider asks: Why? This is why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who fool around on the Internet all day are not good people.

7. One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father: Dad, am I a stupid boy? Dad said: silly child, how can you be a silly child?

One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout out what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! " The next jump is really full of beautiful women waiting for him.

The second is a bookworm, shouting "Book Book Book Book Book Book!" Then, jump into the valley and get books full of pits and valleys.

The third kind is an indecisive person, who can't decide what he likes after thinking about it. After an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful thing, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded, "Shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

9. What about Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

10. The panda loves the deer deeply, but it is rejected when expressing its love. Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, my mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad teenagers.

1 1. One day, Xiao Ming was walking on the road. I suddenly feel sore when I walk! Why is this happening? Because Xiaoming stepped on a lemon!

12. Which Chinese character is the coolest? G-string (cool).

13. One day, a university teacher asked a student that there were ten birds in the tree and one was shot dead. How much is left?

The student asked: Is it silent pistol? No, how loud was the shot? 80- 100 decibel. Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city? No offense. Are you sure that bird was really killed? Of course. At this time, the teacher was impatient: "Will you just tell me how many birds are left?" Are there some deaf birds in the tree? No. Have you ever been caged and hung from a tree? No. Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds in the tree? No, if a bird is pregnant, is it a bird in its belly? Not exactly. Are there any flowers in the bird swatter's eyes? There are no flowers, only ten. The teacher was sweating all over, and the bell rang, but the students continued to ask: Are there any stupid birds that are not afraid of death? Fear of death. Would you kill two with one shot? No, the student said confidently, if your answer is not a lie, "if the bird that was killed hangs on the tree and doesn't fall, there is only one left." If it falls, there will be none left. " The teacher immediately foaming at the mouth fell to the ground!

14. One day, someone passed the intersection and found something super scary. He found Sesshomaru and Sanzang laughing! `

15. Once upon a time, one night, there were three shrimps in the pond. Ha ha ha, a female ghost farted to death.

16. A fat man jumped from a tall building and became a dead fat man.

17. A potholed man was crossing the road, but he was accidentally run over by a truck. When he died, he looked at his body and said, "I was stuffed with bean paste, not meat."

18. Little snake asked Brother Snake in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?" The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

19. Two people fell into a trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living? Call for help.

20. Once upon a time, there was a swordsman. He was cold, his heart was cold, his sword was cold, and finally he died of cold.

2 1. A deer ran faster and faster on the road and turned into a highway.

22. One tomato was smashed by a stone, another tomato was smashed, another tomato was smashed, countless tomatoes were smashed, and the last tomato fell! ketchup

23. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

24. I'm very upset that I haven't heard from you for a long time. I thought of death, and I cut my pulse with potato chips; Hit you on the head with tofu; Jump over buildings with parachutes; Noodles. But none of them died. You invited me to dinner and supported me to death.

25. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

26. Don't worry if you don't bring paper when you are by the railway. The train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch!

27. Two counterfeiters inadvertently created counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.

28. Your life portrayal: at the age of ten, learn to take a bath by yourself, and the pig will clean it by itself; At the age of 20, I am radiant. When I am a pig, I am Mao. Looking for a job at the age of 30 and starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, I hired a servant, and the pig got a servant. Learn to play basketball at fifty!

29. A man climbed over the wall and went out of the school gate, and was caught by the headmaster. The headmaster asked: Why not go from the school gate? Answer: Meters, Bang Wei and Bang Wei don't take the usual road. The headmaster asked again: how did such a high wall cross over? He pointed to his trousers and said, Li Ning, anything is possible.

The headmaster asked again: What's it like to climb over the wall? He pointed to his shoes and said, Xtep, it feels like flying. The next day he entered the school from the main entrance, and the principal asked, why don't you climb over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day, he wore a gangster costume. The headmaster said: You can't wear a gangster costume! He said, you are what you wear, Mason. On the fourth day, he wore a vest to school. The headmaster said he couldn't wear a vest to school. He said, man, simple is good, love fort clothes. The headmaster said I would give you a bigger score. He said: Why? The headmaster said, M-Zone, my site is my decision.

Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4000 yuan from me, saying that he was going to have plastic surgery.

As a result, I don't even know what he has become now. Oh, 4,000 yuan.

3 1. Attention robbers: Our employees only know Spanish. Please be patient when grabbing, and you'd better bring an interpreter. Thank you!

32.are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

33. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.

34. Tourist: Master, is that straw house over there a toilet? Monk: Except that thatched cottage, all the places are toilets.

35. Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes when training. How dare you? If there are still loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

38. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.

39. thief a: count how much money was robbed today? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.

40. Stand higher and pee farther.

4 1. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

42. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

43. One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, there was a sudden "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. Desperate, the woman knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever, just don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "

44. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! Creepy! ! ! ! !

45. Tigers don't send cats. You think I'm dying!

46. One person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then came up with a cold sentence: if you drink too much wine, you will get more.

47. When I went to Li Ning with my sister to buy shoes, my sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

Before 5 1., someone came to my aunt's house and just came in. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" " "

When I was in college, a classmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid! I spit in your face with shit.

Laugh at dictation of college entrance examination Chinese (laughing at many people)

The college entrance examination is over, and after the college entrance examination, it is the senior high school entrance examination ... There are various questions and answers. I really admire today's students.

Ah, thinking is out of control and unconstrained style, which is quite different from what we followed at that time, hehe. Look at the fill-in-the-blank questions in a group of Chinese test papers-

1.___, which makes people haggard for Iraq.

Classmate A: I will never regret taking off my clothes.

(The correct solution is "I won't regret it if my belt widens gradually". I admit that this is my brain. )

2. Ask where the canal is so clear, _ _ _

A: There is a clear spring in my heart.

The positive solution is "only the source of living water is coming", but we still have some water problems ~ ~ ~)

3. When * * * cuts the candle at the west window, _ _ _

Classmate A: Husband and wife sit in the morning.

The Chinese teacher fainted while reading the paper. After class, I fainted again! The correct solution is "late rain time")

4. Mayflies shake trees, _ _ _

Classmate A: Not moving.

(The positive solution is "ridiculous overreaching". Don't move, hehe, it's true. )

5. The beauty of an adult gentleman, _ _ _ _ _ _

Classmate A: Little people succeed.

(faint directly)

6. The poor are immune, _ _ _

Classmate A: Rich people have wives and concubines in groups.

(positive solution: achieving the goal will help the world)

7.___, everyone knows you.

A: As long as you look like Saddam Hussein.

(Khan ||| ...)

8. There are other ladies in his court, 3,000 rare beauties, _ _ _

Classmate A: Iron bars can also be ground into needles ~ ~ ~ (I guess it's not as simple as grinding into needles)

(The positive solution is "but his love for 3,000 people is concentrated on one person")

9. Although my body doesn't have bright wings like a phoenix,

A: plucking a phoenix is not as good as plucking a chicken.

Another student replied: Both husband and wife returned to China.

(The positive solution is "However, I feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn")

10. Sunrise in the east and rain in the west, _ _ _

Classmate A: There is a fight at the head of the bed, and the end of the bed is closed.

Another student replied: I got on the wrong sedan chair and married the right person.

1 1.__, the wife of dross is not allowed to go to court.

A: Married men don't go to bed.

(The Chinese teacher is angry! )

12. May people live a long life, _ _ _

Classmate A: An eternal flower.

(I laughed wildly at the time, but now I think it's quite classic. The positive solution is "a thousand miles * * * ChanJuan")

13. Egrets fly in front of Mount Cisse, _ _ _

Classmate A: Climb the tortoise by the East Village River.

(Yes, it's quite neat)

14. I suggest that God stand up again, _ _ _

Classmate A: God yelled at me three times.

(The positive solution is "Don't stick to one pattern and drop talents", Gong Zizhen)

15. I was born useful, _ _ _

Classmate A: Show your magic at the critical moment.

Another student replied: the mouse son can make holes.

(The Chinese teachers in the whole office collectively laughed without image)

16. If the sky is affectionate, it will be old, _ _ _

Classmate A: People do not waste their youth!

(The positive solution is "If there is no hate, the moon will be long and round", Li He's Song of the Golden Copper Immortal Han Dynasty) (There is also a saying that "the right path in the world is vicissitudes")

17. Relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, _ _ _ _ _ _

Classmate A: Please don't tell him.

(The positive solution is "a piece of ice is in the jade pot")

18. The final exam produced couplets, and the first couplet was the hero of the work.

The couplets of junior three students are: I am charming.

19. A good medicine tastes bitter and is good for the disease, _ _ _

Classmate A: If you don't eat, you are a big fool.

Who hasn't died in life since ancient times, _ _ _

Classmate A: Only some people died one after another.

(Ending: The bird was left by the teacher to give a lecture after the parent-teacher meeting ...)

20. The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light, _ _

A: Li Bai slept soundly.

2 1. Looking at the leopard in the test tube, _ _ _

Classmate A: Scared me.

(Ha ha ha! The positive solution is "visible")

22.___, fly into the homes of ordinary people

Classmate A: Kangjia Caiba TV Station

23. Wine luminous cup, _ _ _

There's a lot of money, beautiful woman.

24.____, pedestrians on the road want to break their souls.

The representative work of junior one students: ghost knocking at the door in the middle of the night

25. Another time I tested Tao Yuanming's "Five buckets of rice can't bend over", and my classmates filled in "Just give me six buckets" …

26. I am old, and people are old, _ _ _

Classmate A: Wife, my wife and other people's wives.

(The teacher later commented that the classmate was particularly dedicated, haha)

27. Think that year, Jin Ge iron horse, _ _ _

Classmate A: Look now, watch and fight.

(The positive solution is "swallowing Wan Li like a tiger")

28. I got "Two heads are better than one" in an exam in grade five.

Classmate A: The taste is the same.

(Laughing at the invigilator and principal outside)

29. Junior one students pair up, "Hold the mountain in your arms between the white clouds in the city, _ _ _ _ _"

Classmate A: I went to the hotel to put the young lady to bed.

His Chinese teacher almost vomited blood on the spot and died.

30. If two kinds of feelings are long-lasting, _ _

Classmate A: It should be when two people get married.

3 1. Qian Fan is on the side of the sunken ship, _ _ _

Classmate A: There are many tricks to be complacent.

32. Use books, hate less, _ _ _

Classmate A: By the end of the month, there will not be enough money.

33. If this day is sentimental, it will be old, _ _ _

Classmate A: People die young when they are affectionate.

(The positive solution is "If the moon is long and round without enmity")

34. Who has not died since ancient times, _ _ _

Classmate A: Who has no paper in his stool?

(No language ...)

35. I once tested Li Qingzhao's dream, "Do you know? Do you know that?/You know what? ___"

Sorry, I DONT't know. ...

(The positive solution is "it should be green, fat, red and thin")

36. I once tested a sentence from Mr. Lu Xun: "_ _ _, I spilled my blood on Xuanyuan."

Classmate A: He stabbed me with a knife.

37. In the Chinese exam, there is a revolutionary poem in the blank: "The door for people to go in and out is locked, _ _

A voice shouted: _ _ I long for freedom, but how can a person's body climb out of the dog hole?

…"

Classmate A: The holes for dogs to climb out are also locked/damn, they are all locked!

38. Qian Shan Wanshui is always in love, _ _

Classmate A: Can I have an extra copy?

The marking teacher is right: love is love, points are points, and giving more is not enough. )

39. When I was a freshman, I had a monthly exam, and the last sentence said, "Laugh to the sky. (Positive solution) Are our people Artemisia people? " . classes

Someone in the newspaper wrote: I accidentally twisted my waist. There is another sentence, the last sentence: "Clear water produces hibiscus, (positive solution) natural carving."

. Some people write that mud gives birth to lotus roots; Some are even more unique, saying: heroes come from troubled times.

40. How much can you worry about, _ _

A: Just like a pot of Erguotou.

(The teacher criticized "You drank too much again ...")

1;

When a young man and a young woman are dating in the park, the girl especially wants to fart. She had an idea:

Woman: Have you ever heard the cuckoo?

M: I haven't heard of it.

Woman: I'll teach you, boo (fart sound)-gu (accent).

Woman: Did you hear me clearly?

Man: I didn't hear you clearly because of the loud fart.

2;

A young lady and an old lady are sitting on the train together. The young lady wanted to fart, but she couldn't hold back, so she pretended to clean the window with her hands and fart continuously with the sound of friction. However, the old lady sitting next to her said to her, "The sound is OK, but what about the smell?"

3;

A woman wants to fart on the bus, but she doesn't know what to do. Suddenly Beethoven's Symphony of Destiny sounded in the bus, and she naturally solved it with music: boom, boom, boom, boom. Watch other passengers' reactions while snickering, huh? They all stared at her with their noses covered. It turned out that the Symphony of Destiny came not from the car radio, but from her walkman.

4;

There are two maintenance workers who love to drink at Beijing military airport. One day, when they were on the night shift, they were addicted to alcohol, but they didn't bring any wine and there was no shop nearby.

"I heard that jet fuel is the same as liquor. Have some. " One person suggested.

So, the two men took out the fuel in the tank and drank as drunk as a fiddler.

The next day, one of them woke up and was surprised to find that, unlike usual drinking, he had neither headache nor nausea. At this moment, the telephone rang and he picked it up.

"ah! Are you all right? " It's the voice of another mechanic.

"Nothing, don't say, jet fuel is really good, and I don't have a headache or nausea."

"Me too, but ..." "But what?"

"Did you fart after getting up?"

"No."

"Then be careful, I am in Hainan Island now."

5;

Xiao++has been depressed recently.

Because he farts a lot every day, his friends, colleagues, girlfriends and relatives are far away from him.

He cried and said, "It's all my fault! I shouldn't read the post without replying! !

Super funny joke Bunny said, "My mother calls me Bunny, which is nice!" " "

The pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" " "

The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" " "

The chicken said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

The rabbit said, "I am a rabbit!" " "

The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!" " "

The dog said to me, "I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice!" " "

The fish said to me, "I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice!" " "

The bear said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

Lang Ke said: "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!"

The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!"

The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "

The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first!"

Jimmy Lin said: "My fans say my idol is Ying."

Andy Lau said: "My fans say: My idol is Hua."

Jacky Cheung said, "My fans say my idol is called a friend."

Jordan chan said: "You talk, I'll go first!"

The senior math teacher said that I will teach senior math this semester.

The college physics teacher said: I teach big this semester.

The information management teacher said: I teach asset management this semester.

The socio-economic teacher said: You talk, I'll go first.

Peking University said: I am from Peking University.

Tianjin University said: I am older.

Shanghai University said: I went to college.

Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first!

General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man!

General fu said to him: I am just!

General Yu Dayou said: I am a man with great potential!

General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first!

The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of logs. Lao Zhang said: My door is a wooden door.

Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said that my door is made of plastic.

The door of Lao Wang's house is made of stone. Lao Wang said that the door of my house is Shimen.

Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first!

Bai Yu said: My name is White.

Jade jade said, my name is jasper.

Redjade said, My name is Redjade.

Apricot said: you chat, I walked first!

The students of normal college said: I am from normal college.

The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.

The student of the Air Force Academy said: I am from the Air Force Academy.

The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first!

County Party Secretary: "Rabbit, shrimp, pigtail! Without pickles, pickles are too expensive! " Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! After the secretary of the county party Committee finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!" (Translation: Now please speak to the county magistrate! The county magistrate said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is chinemys reevesii!" " "Comrades, that's enough for today. Let's make a big bowl! County magistrate: "Don't be a pickle, I'll lick a shit for you? "Stop talking and let me tell you a story, okay? County magistrate: This shit may be eaten by someone. Some people may know this story. County magistrate: Don't worry about not eating (don't worry about not understanding) County magistrate: I'll pull it for you now-

One day, Xiaoming's grandfather was ill, and his mother asked Xiaoming to write a letter to his grandfather. Words that Xiao Ming can't write are represented by "0".

It should be a letter like this:

Grandpa:

When you are sick, you should eat more food and be nutritious. Don't waste what your uncle, aunt, father and mother give you, and your body will get better.

Grandson: Xiaoming

Xiao Ming wrote:

00:

When you are born, you should eat more, and don't waste the 0 given by your uncle, aunt, father and mother, so that your body will get better.

0 Zi: Xiaoming

Grandpa received this letter, and he read it like this:

Eggs:

When laying eggs, eat more eggs, eat more nutritious eggs, and don't waste the eggs sent by your uncles, aunts, parents, so that your eggs will get better.

An egg: Xiaoming

Grandpa thought Xiao Ming was scolding him after reading it, and he was so angry.