Understand 30 jokes

Luxembourg said, "Anyway, please be quiet and happy!" This is life. We should accept life as it is and smile bravely, boldly and forever. "Who can live carefree? When you are sad, look at these humorous jokes. Laugh and understand the philosophy in life.

-0 1-

In the year of college entrance examination, I got 200 points, and my mother's friend's children got 680 points. My child has gone to a key university, and I want to work. Nine years later, the mother showed off to me and my mother that her son had applied for a project manager with a monthly salary of over 10,000 yuan. On the other hand, I am thinking: Should I hire him?

Feeling:

Life is like a marathon. There may be a slow start, but the final outcome can't be decided after all.

-02-

An aunt joined a doctoral group by mistake. Someone asked: A drop of water falls freely from a very high place. Will it hurt or kill? The group immediately became lively, and all kinds of formulas, assumptions, calculations of resistance, gravity and acceleration were fully discussed for nearly an hour. At this moment, my aunt asked quietly: Have you never been caught in the rain? There was a sudden silence in the crowd ... then the aunt was kicked out of the group.

Feeling:

It is easy for us to fall into the misunderstanding of fixed thinking and try to solve any problem with theory. But sometimes, theory broadens our way of thinking, but experience can solve problems faster.

-03-

The child was called a stupid bird by his parents because of his poor grades. The child said unconvinced, "There are three kinds of stupid birds in the world. One is to fly first, and the other is too tired to fly."

The parents asked, "What about the third one?"

The child said, "This kind of thing is the most annoying. If you can't fly, you will lay eggs in the nest and ask the next generation to fly hard. "

Feeling:

Parents always hate their children's grades, but ignore the importance of heredity. Don't always pin your hopes on others, even your own children, on things you can't do.

-04-

Going to a restaurant for dinner, the proprietress is very tough and scolds the boss like a grandson. I can't help saying a few more words. As a result, I quarreled with the proprietress and took off her apron in a rage and left.

I told my boss not to get used to dealing with such women. The more you get used to it, the worse your temper becomes. As a result, my pork head was served on the table. I tasted it and it was salty in the Pacific Ocean.

I asked my boss why this dish is so salty.

The boss said that it was probably because pigs were too nosy when they were alive that they were salty. ...

Feeling:

Dickens said: The best manners are to mind your own business. People live all their lives, don't say things they shouldn't, and mind their own business.

-05-

A rich woman leads a dog for a walk, but there are beggars in Lu Yu. She haughtily taunted the beggar: "Your dog barks, Dad, I'll give you a hundred dollars!" "

The beggar said, "What if I scream ten times?"

The rich woman said happily, "I'll give you a thousand!" " "

The beggar immediately shouted "Dad" to the dog, which attracted the audience like a cloud.

In full view, the rich woman had to pay him. The beggar received the money and repeatedly shouted, "Thank you, Mom! Thank you, Mom! "

Feeling:

Respect is mutual, and others will treat you as you treat others. All cleverness and arrogance bring shame on themselves.

-06-

The haggard patient said to the doctor, "the wild dog outside my window barked all night, and I'm going crazy!" " "

The doctor prescribed him sleeping pills. A week later, the patient came again, looking more tired than last time.

The doctor asked, "Is sleeping pills ineffective?"

The patient said listlessly, "I chase those dogs every night, but even if I finally catch one, it won't take sleeping pills."

Feeling:

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can't get the desired results. The reason may be simple: the direction is wrong, and no matter how hard you try, it is futile.

-07-

A: "The new neighbors are so hateful. He rang my doorbell at midnight last night. "

B: "How hateful! Did you call the police immediately? "

Answer: "No, I think they are crazy. Keep playing my trumpet."

Feeling:

Everything happens for a reason, and when you criticize others, you should first ask yourself if it is your own reason.

-08-

A thief stole a customer's wallet in a restaurant and tried to escape after being found! The customer was not in a hurry to shout for a thief. Instead, he shouted, catch it. Before he could pay the bill, the waiter in the restaurant immediately surrounded the thief. The customer calmly walked up to the thief and took back his wallet to settle the bill.

Feeling:

There is a selfish side in human nature, and only when it comes to one's own interests will one take action. If you want to get help from others, you must first relate your own problems to his interests, so as to attract attention.

-09-

An old man went to the vegetable market to buy food and picked three tomatoes on the scale. The stall owner weighed them: "A catty and a half is 7 yuan, 3 yuan."

Grandpa: "You don't need so much to make soup." Remove the biggest tomatoes.

Stall owner: "One catty, two taels, three taels."

Just when people around him wanted to remind him to pay attention to the scale, he calmly took out 70 cents, picked up the big tomato he had just taken off and walked away smartly.

Feeling:

Whether you are doing business or being a man, you should pay attention to honesty. Those who steal the column will only shoot themselves in the foot.