Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Five Dynasties and Ten Countries in History
Five Dynasties and Ten Countries in History
For two years, "Mao defeated Guo Jun, was terminally ill, and returned to Luo. Fortunately, Quan Yi stayed in Xieyuan for ten days, and Quan Yi's wife and daughter were forced to commit adultery. " Zhang's son Zhu Wen was very angry. He tried to dissuade Zhang. As for Zhu Wen's son's incest with Zhu Wen, he is not only shameless, but also uses his wife to compete for favor, favor and reserve. What a scandal! Adopted son "Zhu Youwen's wife Wang Seliang, the emperor (Zhu Wen) especially dotes on her. Although she does not take Juventus as the prince, the emperor will always belong to her. " When Zhu Wen was seriously ill, he planned to call Zhu Youwen from Du Dong to Luoyang to pay for the future expenses. His parents, children, friends and wives also waited on the emperor in the morning and evening. Knowing this, they secretly told their friends and father:' Everyone (referring to Zhu Wen) paid the king's arms to the East with a national treasure, and I died!' "Zhu immediately used his master's palace guards and their cronies to launch a palace coup," midnight cut off ","You Xuan servants stabbed the emperor in the abdomen, and the blade was out of the back. My friend was lying in the bedroom wrapped in a defeated blanket. "In this way, Zhu Wen was finally killed by his parents and friends in June of the second year of Ganhua (9 12) at the age of 6 1. Li risked his life on the battlefield and was a brave general. But politically, he is an ignorant fool. After he proclaimed himself emperor, he thought that his father's revenge had been reported and the Central Plains had been settled, so he stopped making progress and began to enjoy himself. He likes watching plays and acting since he was a child. After he acceded to the throne, he often used BLACKPINK to paint his face, put on costumes, perform on stage, and ignored state affairs. And named himself "Li Tianxia". Once on the stage, he shouted "Li Tianxia" twice! A performer went up and slapped him, and everyone around him broke out in a cold sweat. When asked why Li was beaten, the actor said obsequiously, "Li is the only emperor in the world." You called twice. Who's the other one? Instead of punishing him, Li rewarded him. Actors are favored by the emperor and can freely enter and leave the palace to fight with the emperor, insulting and teasing courtiers. Courtiers dare to be angry and dare not speak. Some courtiers and vassals tried to put in a good word for them in front of the emperor and tried to curry favor with them by giving gifts. Li also took the actors as eyes and ears, spying on the words and deeds of ministers, regardless of the battle-hardened soldiers, to seal the actors as unscrupulous and secretariat. In addition, Li also ordered the gathering of former Tang palace eunuchs from all over the country, taking them as confidants and serving as officers' deacons and town military supervisors. The general was humiliated by eunuchs, and the scholars also broke the road to entry. At the same time, Li sent actors and eunuchs to rob commoners into the palace. On one occasion, he robbed more than 1000 wives and daughters of soldiers stationed in Weizhou, alienating them and complaining. Finally, actor Guo took advantage of the fact that all the troops were transferred outside the city, launched a mutiny and killed them with rebel soldiers. Ouyang Xiu commented on Zhuang Zong in this way: "Fang Qisheng is also a hero in the world and cannot compete with him; And its decline, dozens of people are trapped, the country is broken, and the world is laughing. " Li himself doesn't call himself an emperor, but his wife is a queen. Shi Jingtang, the son emperor, is willing to be a son emperor and sell his land in order to win the world.
Seeing Shi Jingtang's attractive conditions, Emperor Taizong of Liao rushed to send troops to rescue him. Shi Jingtang became the Daikin Emperor, gained a large piece of fat, and easily brought the sixteen states he had longed for into the rule of the Khitan, and imported a lot of cloth every year. However, Liao Taizong only tasted this unexpected fat for ten years, and finally died in the Central Plains. You'll get Lin Hu killed. Isn't this interesting? More interestingly, after my death, my mother ordered me to see people die and bodies. In the hot summer, the minister was helpless and afraid of the smell of the body. Finally, she accepted the chef's suggestion, cut the body into pieces, salted it and took it back to the north. Sometimes bodies are never disposed of. Gao Jixing is a rogue in troubled times. Gao Jixing's Jingnan area has few soldiers, a vast territory and few people, but it can survive in troubled times for a long time, which is not caused by Gao Jixing's talent, but because the big countries regard Jingnan as a buffer zone, typically Chu State. Sandwiched between the later Tang, Wu, Chu and Shu, Jingnan is much poorer than other places. Instead of persuading farmers to develop their economy, Gao Jixing and his son took a disgraceful approach: looting, and the government sent troops to rob them. The tributes of the Southern Han and Chu Dynasties to the later Tang Dynasty all passed through Jingnan and Fujian, because Wu blocked the road to the east. When the tributes from these countries passed by, Gao Jixing and later his son sent troops to take them for themselves. When the other side protested or sent troops to punish him, he returned the property without shame, and his cheek was immeasurable. In order to get wealth, Gao Jixing also surrendered to Shu and Fujian and got some gifts. After a long time, everyone knew his personality and unanimously gave him and his son an appropriate nickname "Gao Laizi", and sometimes called him "Gao Rogue". Zhao Kuangyin launched a mutiny in Chen Qiao and put a yellow robe on his body. The love between Meng Chang and Mrs. Huarui, Li Yu and Zhou Xiao and sisters.
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