Recommend me a book about interpersonal communication.

Book recommendation in interpersonal communication needs scientific methods to improve one's interpersonal communication ability.

Personally, I think the best book devoted to interpersonal communication is 12 communication and persuasion must read.

The content of this book is classic, fresh and refined. The difference between this book and other interpersonal books is that "Communication and Persuasion Must Read 12" puts great emphasis on improving one's interpersonal skills through scientific and effective methods, so as to achieve the purpose of improving life and workplace performance.

I have to say that interpersonal skills are increasingly recognized and valued in society. No matter how good a person's ability and level are, if he is not good enough in interpersonal communication, then even the best ability will be of no help. After all, this society is originally formed by the connection between people.

And communication and persuasion must read 12 is the best book on interpersonal communication I have ever read. Many analyses in the book are very practical and helpful to improve communication skills, interpersonal skills and even emotional intelligence. If your communication skills are poor, you may need to read this book again and again. I suggest you read it at least three times, because even the best idea is useless if it doesn't become your own. I suggest that beginners can integrate their views through repeated reading.

It is no exaggeration to say that interpersonal communication is actually a lifelong learning process. I am afraid that many people have not mastered the true meaning and art of how to communicate with others until their death. Many people are born perfect, for example, some people are introverted and some people are extroverted. For extroverts, they will have a natural advantage in interpersonal relationships. Because he likes getting along with people very much. Introverts are relatively worse. Introverts need to face more obstacles than extroverts to improve their interpersonal skills. However, this is not impossible. A person's personality may not be changed, but his behavior can be changed. Through scientific methods, we can shape better behaviors and good habits, and then improve the level and ability of interpersonal relationships to a certain extent. And "communication and persuasion must read 12" is just such a book that can provide us with scientific methods.

Many people suffer greatly from the lack of interpersonal skills. There are too many such examples in both work and life. After all, there is too much work to deal with people, especially managers. If you are not good at expressing, communicating and establishing emotional connection with others, you will inevitably lose the opportunity to accomplish many things. This kind of opportunity is always easy to get, because many people lack neither professional ability nor other intellectual knowledge. In short, what really determines a person's height, how far he can go and how successful he is in his career are interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence. By studying excellent interpersonal books such as Communication and Persuasion Required Reading 12, we can forge these two abilities well.

Of course, reading is necessary, but just reading is absolutely impossible. If you really want to improve your interpersonal skills, you need more practice. After all, practice makes true knowledge. "Communication and Persuasion Required Reading 12" plus your own thinking and practice, I believe you can also be comfortable in interpersonal communication and maximize the value of life.

What is interpersonal communication?

Interpersonal communication refers to the process of information exchange between people, that is, the process of exchanging ideas, thoughts and feelings between people in the same activity. This kind of communication is mainly expressed by language, expression, gesture, posture and social distance.

Characteristics of interpersonal communication

According to Andreyeva, a social psychologist in the Soviet Union, it is a meaningful step to regard people's ideas, thoughts and emotions as information and interpersonal communication as a process of information exchange, so as to explain the whole process of interpersonal communication from the perspective of information theory. However, this view cannot be regarded as correct in methodology. Because this view ignores some important features of interpersonal communication. Andreyeva pointed out that interpersonal communication has the following characteristics:

1. Interpersonal communication is different from simple "information transmission" between two sets of devices, in which each individual is the active subject. In other words, every participant in interpersonal communication requires the other person to be active, and can't regard the communication object as some kind of object. Therefore, in the process of communication, the sender of information must judge the situation of the other party, analyze his motivation, purpose and attitude, and expect to get new information from the other party's answer. Therefore, the process of interpersonal communication is not a simple "information transmission", at least an active information exchange.

2. The information exchange between people is different from that between devices, and the two parties interact with each other by means of symbol system. The communicative influence produced by interpersonal communication is the psychological effect of one communicator on another in order to change the behavior of the other.

3. The propagation influence as a result of information exchange can only be realized if the sender and the receiver master a unified coding and decoding system. Generally speaking, this rule means speaking in the same language that both parties are familiar with.

4. Interpersonal communication may cause completely special communication obstacles. These obstacles have nothing to do with the weakness of some communication channels and coding and decoding errors, but social and psychological obstacles.

Elements of interpersonal communication

Although there are various forms of communication between people, information dissemination has its general laws. The most basic elements include information sender, information, information channel and information receiver.

The sender of information is the main body of information exchange. He not only disseminates information purposefully, but also encodes the outgoing information, that is, organizes the information processing into a form convenient for transmission.

Information refers to the content of communication, expressing the thoughts, needs, wishes and news of the communication subjects.

Information channel is the way of information transmission, and information can only exist and be transmitted if it is loaded into the information channel. Sound, light, electricity, animals, people, newspapers, books, movies, television and so on are all media of information dissemination.

The receiver of information is the person who receives the information.

The process of information dissemination means that the sender of information encodes the content of communication and then brings it into the communication channel; After receiving the information, the receiver decodes and accepts the information, and then feeds back the received information to the sender. This is the basic process of information exchange. After receiving the information, the information receiver must decode it to understand the content of the information. The so-called decoding means that people interpret information according to past experience, restore code based on the same experience of both parties, make new code and send it out, thus forming two-way communication. If there is no new code, sending information is one-way communication.

Information communication within enterprises is also carried out in accordance with this model. Information exchange in enterprises is generally carried out between two or more people, and mainly through language (including written language, oral language and body movement language); The content of information includes data, opinions, opinions or emotions; The purpose of communication is to gain understanding, trust and cooperation, and work hard to achieve enterprise goals.

Information communication plays an important role in enterprise management. It is an important factor affecting the behavior of group members in enterprises, and it is one of the effective ways for enterprises to establish and maintain good interpersonal relationships, improve staff morale and promote enterprise development.

Classification of interpersonal communication in groups

(A) formal communication and informal communication

From the organizational system, communication can be divided into formal communication and informal communication. Passing and exchanging information through the channels specified by the organization is formal communication. The document transmission, notice release, work arrangement, work report, various meetings and official document exchanges between organs and other organs belong to formal communication. Its advantages are standardized information path and high accuracy.

Information transmission and communication outside the formal communication channels are called informal communication, such as private conversations between employees and general "rumors". Because informal communication not only reveals or reflects people's real motives, but also often provides unexpected internal and external information of the organization, managers now attach great importance to informal communication and often use informal groups' private dinners and entertainment activities to get in touch with employees and get all kinds of information from them as a reference for improving management or formulating policies. Informal communication not only has the advantages of flexible communication form and fast information dissemination, but also has fatal weaknesses such as randomness and unreliability.

(2) downward communication, upward communication and parallel communication.

According to the direction of information flow, communication can be divided into downward communication, upward communication and parallel communication. Downward communication is the transmission of information from superiors to subordinates. For example, the superior leaders of enterprises give orders and instructions to their subordinates. This communication method has five purposes: to convey work instructions; Promote employees to understand the relationship between this job and other tasks; Provide information about procedures and tasks; Feedback their work performance to subordinates; Explain organizational goals to employees, so that employees can enhance their sense of mission. This kind of top-down communication can coordinate the relationship between all levels in the organization, strengthen the relationship between all levels, and have the function of supervision, command, coordination and help for subordinates. Therefore, this form of communication has attracted the attention of classical management theorists and is still used by many enterprises today. However, this kind of communication is easy to form a "right atmosphere", which affects morale, and the information transmitted will be gradually reduced or distorted due to misinterpretation, misunderstanding or shelving.

Upward communication means that subordinates transmit information to superiors. For example, employees report their work to their superiors, put forward their own suggestions and opinions, and express their attitudes. In an organization, not only downward communication is required to be fast and effective, but also upward communication should be guaranteed to be unimpeded. Because only in this way can leaders grasp all kinds of situations in time and make practical decisions. However, related research shows that sometimes even if the bottom-up information communication reaches the management level, it is usually not taken seriously or not noticed at all, and in the process of reporting layer by layer, the content will be compressed and the details will be deleted one by one, resulting in serious distortion.

Parallel communication refers to information transmission between peers, such as communication between employees and communication between different departments at the same level. Contradictions and conflicts between departments can often be seen in enterprise departments. Among other factors, the lack of "ventilation" between departments is one of the important reasons. Ensuring smooth communication channels between parallel organizations is an important measure to reduce conflicts between departments. This kind of communication generally has the nature of business coordination. It helps to enhance mutual understanding, strengthen unity, strengthen coordination, reduce contradictions and conflicts, and improve interpersonal relationships.

(3) One-way communication and two-way communication

Communication can be divided into one-way communication and two-way communication according to whether the status of the sender and the receiver changes.

One-way communication only means that one party sends information to the other, and the direction and position of the sender and receiver remain unchanged. There is no feedback in language and expression, and instructions, commands, speeches and reports are all one-way communication.

Two-way communication means that the position of the sender and the receiver is constantly changing. The sender faces the receiver by consulting, discussing or soliciting opinions, and gets feedback immediately after the information is sent. Sometimes the positions of both sides will be exchanged many times until both sides are clear. Job fairs, symposiums, etc. It's all two-way communication.

Which is more efficient, one-way communication or two-way communication? Psychologists have done many experiments, and the results show that (1) in terms of speed, one-way communication is faster than two-way communication in information transmission; (2) Judging from the correctness of the content, two-way communication is more accurate and reliable than one-way communication. (3) From the perspective of communication procedure, one-way communication is quiet and regular, while two-way communication is chaotic and easily disturbed; (4) In two-way communication, the receiver has confidence and assurance in his own judgment; But there is great psychological pressure on the sender, because the receiver will ask questions, criticize and accuse at any time; (5) One-way communication needs more planning; Two-way communication cannot be planned in advance, which requires on-the-spot judgment and decision-making ability; (6) Two-way communication can enhance mutual understanding and establish good interpersonal relationships.

It can be seen that one-way communication and two-way communication have their own advantages, and the communication mode depends on the specific situation. If information needs to be transmitted quickly, one-way communication should be adopted; If it is necessary to convey information accurately, two-way communication should be adopted. Generally speaking, if the work needs to be completed urgently, or the nature of the work is relatively simple, or the sender only needs to give instructions without feedback, one-way communication is often adopted.

(4) Oral communication and written communication

According to the forms of communication, communication can be divided into oral communication and written communication.

Oral communication is face-to-face oral information exchange, such as talks, discussions, meetings, speeches and telephone contact. Its advantages are intimacy, expression, intonation and so on. , can increase the effect of communication, get the other party's response immediately, has the advantages of two-way communication, and is flexible and can improvise. However, if the communicator is inarticulate or can't grasp the main points and express his views concisely, he can't make the receiver understand his true meaning. If the receiver is inattentive, inattentive or in trouble during the communication, the oral communication will pass and there is no way to go back and ratify it.

Written communication refers to information exchange through notices, circulars, documents, publications, letters, telegrams and investigation reports. Its advantage is that it has certain seriousness, standardization and authority, and it is not easy to be distorted in communication; Can be used as archives and reference materials, but also as a formal communication document for long-term preservation; For the receiver, reading slowly and understanding carefully is more detailed than oral expression. Its weakness is inflexible communication, less emotional factors and higher requirements for writing ability.

Traditional management pays more attention to written communication. In modern management, oral communication is valued, and written communication is obviously still an important way. However, when using written communication, we should pay attention to the readability and standardization of the text, so that: (1) the text is concise; (2) Use standard and familiar words; (3) the use of metaphors, examples, charts, etc. Must be clear and easy to understand; (4) Use active voice and declarative sentences; (5) Strong logic and organization.