Ancient jokes in 5 languages

1. When I was in Tang Yizong, there was a man named Li Keji who was good at telling jokes. Once, while celebrating the emperor's birthday, monks and Taoists ended their speeches. Li Keji went to the podium dressed as a Confucian and claimed to be? Balance of three religions? . A man sat next to him and asked, since you have extensive knowledge of Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism, I ask you, who is nigume? Li Keji said:? Woman. ? The man next to him was taken aback and said, why is it a woman? Li Keji said:? The diamond sutra says, Sit in the seat? If it's not a woman, why does her husband sit behind him? Ask again:? Who is the old gentleman? Answer:? A woman, too. ? People who ask are even more puzzled. Li Keji said:? In the Tao Te Ching? I have a big worry, because I have a body, but I don't have a body. What's wrong with me? If it's not a woman, why are you afraid of getting pregnant? Ask again:? Who is Confucius? Answer:? A woman, too. ? Q:? Why do you see it? Answer:? The Analects of Confucius said:? Sell it! Sell it! I treat Jia Ye. ? If it's not a woman, why wait for marriage?

Second, there was a Taoist named Cheng Zixiao in the Tang Dynasty who climbed Huashan Mountain and fell down on the way. A doctor named Yu jokingly wrote to him and said, I don't know if I can get it. It's weird to hang it. ? The following is Lao Tzu's interpretation: virtue is not virtue, but virtue? And then what? Mysterious, the gate of Wan Qi? . Laozi is a classic of Taoism, and it is a wonderful application of Laozi in Letter to Taoism.

Three, Song Huizong xuanhe years, Tong Guan troops? Recover? Yanjing, escape defeat. There was a scene in the Heavenly Palace where three maids came out with different combs. The beard of the first comb is in front, saying that it belongs to Master Cai's family. The beard of the second comb is beside it, saying that it belongs to Zheng Taizai's family. The third one, with a beard, said he was from the Wangs. Asked why they comb like this, Cai's family said: We, a surname, often appear in front of the emperor. My beard is called chaotian bun. ? Zheng Guren said:? We have retired, and my beard is called lazy bun. ? The child's family said:? Our king leads troops to fight, and mine is thirty-six buns. ? What is this for? A bun? Harmonic? Plan? Sounds like Plan 36 is the best plan.

Fourth, at the end of the Ming Dynasty, Qing soldiers marched south. Celebrities at that time and Qian Muzhai, a great official in the Ming Dynasty, all wore clothes and hats of the Qing Dynasty to greet their surrender. I met an old man on the road and knocked him on the head with a cane, saying, I am a sad and sick person, and I will kill you. ? Are these two sentences paraphrased from the fourth fold of the first volume of The West Chamber? This boy is so sad and sick, how can he be regarded as a beauty of a country? . ? Hat? Follow? Appearance? homophony

5. A private school teacher teaches students to read "University". First, read Zhu's "Preface to University Chapters and Sentences". Reading broken sentences means reading or clicking where there are no sentences. , release? The book of university, the ancient university, is the method of teaching people? Read it? University, books are ancient, and universities teach people. Let Yan know, let the kid hook up with him and say, do you love him so much? What? Word, I punish you for being a pig in the afterlife. ? The man left and said, You turned me into a pig. I dare not disobey. I have a request: let me be born in the south. ? Yan asked him why, and he said, The Doctrine of the Mean says: Are southern pigs better than northern pigs? . ? (according to the golden mean, the original text is: ask Qiang, Confucius said:? Strong in the south? Strong in the north? Depressed and strong? ) the key to this joke is to take? What? Word harmony? Pigs? Word, the pronunciation of some Wu dialects, won't make people laugh in other areas.

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